Rant about my father-in-law

Sorry, I have to rant, and my husband is *not* in the mood to listen to it, since it's his dad and all.....

We took the in-laws out to dinner tonight as an early Mother's day thing. Treated them to dinner & gave my mother-in-law her gifts.

So they meet us at our house, and we drive them to the restaurant which is 5 minutes away, tops.

My hubby was driving my car, so I innocently enough hopped in the front seat, shotgun. The in-laws sat in the back. I FORGOT (stupid me) that stupid-head father in law HAS to sit in the front or he "gets sick". So 5 minutes later we get to the restaurant & he's complaining that he's all dizzy, he can barely walk, blah blah blah....

He proceeds to complain THE REST OF THE NIGHT about how he feels like shit, doesn't want to eat, doesn't want anything to drink...next time he'll just stay home 'cuz he gets so sick in the back seat....

I'm fucking ready to EXPLODE, but I don't want to ruin my mother-in-law's celebration.

BUT WHAT A FUCKING BABY!!!!!!! Fucking 5 minutes in the back seat and he has to fucking complain the rest of the fucking night!!!!!!

So as soon as we split up for the night I explode, because I've been made the bad guy all night over something TOTALLY BOGUS. I don't believe for a SECOND that he's sick...he just wants to sit in the front seat as a control issue. He's fucking pathetic.

Ok. Now that I've posted this for the world to see, I feel better.

What a LOSER he is!!!!!!

The more things change, the more they stay the same. You were supposed to sit in the back seat and talk recipes with Mom, while Dad was up front, riding shotgun and talking sports and war with Sonny Boy.

Being a guy myself, I sympathize with your Hub, who is in an impossible position given the facts you state.

But "Dad" was being an assh*le. Blow it off, write it off to insoluble family friction. Have a cappuccino and a chocolate croissant.

BTW: You seem pretty selfish and bitter. Calling your father in law names. If he is all that bad, then you are no different from him because you appear to be acting exactly as you accuse him of acting.

What's wrong with letting the older guy have the front seat?

Also her HUSBAND must have forgotten; he could have reminded her. So it's not even her fault alone. - Had it happened to me I would have sounded bitter, too, and you bet I'd be calling him names! And I might call you some, too, if you told my I was as bad as my father-in-law. Ranting gets it off her chest; no need to pour oil into the fire. :)

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Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

How am I being selfish? By sitting in the front seat of my own car? When I'm taking HIM out to dinner?

And believe me, I will NEVER do it again because I had to hear about it repeatedly ALL FRICKIN' NIGHT LONG!

And how am I acting like he acted? I, although I was VERY ANGRY, maintained a polite manner to him all night because I didn't want to cause HIS unpleasantness to make ME unpleasant. I came here to VENT!
So if you don't like it, you don't have to READ A THREAD THAT SAYS *RANT* in the subject line!!!!!

and rant most especially when you say so prominently in your thread title

du has many incredible things about it and one of them should be that everyone can come here for support on all kinds of issues
if its one we dont agree with especially we should either not respond (depending on the subject of course) or kindly point out our pov

but the rub is that the poster didnt ask for advice. she asked for those in the lounge who are interested to listen to her feelings since her husband couldnt

i can understand that people dont view this as cause for high anxiety but at the time it was really upsetting for her. she needed a place to vent and i think we can all really understand that feeling

hope youre feeling better today coventina.

Why wait until they are already there to start complaining? Why ruin his wife's day?

There is nothing that she could have done to predict his reaction. It was a short drive and there is really no difference between the front and back seats.

In things to get upset about, this probably ranks below seeing Riki Lake getting canceled for me. Yeah, he's being a whiny old guy, but if he wants to sit up with his kid, what's the harm?

from a FIVE MINUTE DRIVE for the next 2 hours! When I knew it was complete bullshit and was designed to make me the bad guy for doing the unforgiveable sin of sitting in my own front seat!!!!!

If he had politely asked to sit up front before we left, no problem.

It's fucking passive-agressive behavior to beat up on me for it after the fact. That's what really pisses me off I guess.

and yeah, it's passive-aggressive. But you can either be consumed by it or blow it off, because in the grand scheme of life stuff like this is a minor inconvenience.

If the guy's making your life a living hell, then that's another matter..

Sometimes when I'm treated badly, and there is no one in my life I can complain to about it, I like to post it on DU.

Call it my escape valve, or revenge or whatever. I just wanted to get it out of my system before I went to sleep.

Believe me, this particular episode won't consume me, because this behavior from him is par for the course.....

I wish you the best of luck; don't let him get to you.

roll him a joint and tell him to smoke it and STFU. That should mellow him out and take the edge off his pompous ass attitude.

does the same thing--acts like a whiny baby when we forget to give her the front seat (she has an endless number of these little things that must be done to accomodate her--so it is easy to forget occasionally).

Yes--it is as annoying as hell--and I understand your feeling frustrated. But family is family--we are stuck with them--so I generally just give in with a smile--say that I am sorry I forgot--listen to the whining and try to at least keep my attitude on an even keel.

You can't do much about family. Sorry.

I'd affect some sort of annoying "malady" to make people make silly accommodations for me. But, I'd hate myself for it. Unlike bozos like my FIL who seem to think they are entitled with making the world accommodate them.

my sis just likes to be the center of attention and get her way all the time. She is the baby--so she is generally indulged by everyone and is a complete and total asshole--although I do love her dearly.

(I love her but hate being around her--I know it sounds confused--but hey--family relationships tend to be complex right?)

I actually blame other family members more than her--because they are the ones who raised her to expect to get her way 100% of the time.

Anyway--it is tough to deal with this stuff--I have sympathy for you--but if they are family and you love them--sometimes it seems as if you have to just grit your teeth and get through the bad stuff. I don't know any easier way to do it.

what a dick

When someone whines too long I will just pull out the duct tape and say "Zip it, we get your point move on or I will duct tape your mouth shut."

Kind of rude but....so is whining for 2 hours over something so minor at someone else's celebration.

Usually if its a trip over an hour long I sit in the front, and if I do end up getting sick anyway, its gone 1/2 hr after I get out of the car. Geesh.. I agree with you he was being a big crybaby. You were stronger than I would've been. I wouldnt have kept my mouth shut even with the circumstances of the night.

You did no wrong and I agree with everything you said :) Have to let the vent out at someone or it will eat at you. Believe me, I know.

... and present it to him. It's pretty effective at blocking the sensation of nausea. I get carsick too, and this stuff works for me. And after taking a couple of these, he'll be too drowsy to give you any guff. ;)


Although, if he's the complaining sort, he'll probably just find something else to harp on.

Never heard of that one, I'm going to have to try it. Do you take the usual dose?

worked for me

Each capsule is 25 mg, so 2 capsules at once is the strongest dose you're supposed to take.

I guess that for anything up to and including that amount, whatever works for you would be okay.

It's more effective if you take the medicine about an hour or so before the car ride, because it's best to have the histamine receptor* blockade in place before the nausea-producing event.


Warning: this stuff can be very sedating. All the usual warnings about driving and operating heavy machinery apply.




* histamine receptors mediate the sensation of nausea via the vagus nerve (or so I think I've read).

a big baby. Sorry for you and your husband. He needs to grow up and be a big boy and sit in the back with the adults.

To spend the whole night bitching, and ruining dinner for his wife, is the height of rudeness. You have my sympathy.

he is a baby. If he thought the ride would be to much when you forgot and got in the front seat he should have spoken up then, or shut up. Is he maybe just the type that likes to make someone to be the bad guy and today you are it?

"Uh-Sweetie, remember my motion illness? I didn't want to take the Dramamine because it puts me to sleep."

Your poor MIL. Even if you had exploded, I think her time was already ruined by him. He IS a baby, and a passive-aggressive one at that, too.

and I think it's important to tell them off at least once. They're already pissed off and everyone else is already upset, so why not just go for it? Call them on it. It won't win you any points with those who insist on coddling and cow-towing to them, but they just might behave a little better the next time they're in your presence.

To those who are criticizing Conventina or saying she should have let the old man have the front seat: Emotional bullies do it because they can. If no one ever stands up to them, nothing ever changes.

You need to come down with the flu for fathers day, and let sonny boy have dad all to himself.

"I get sick in the back seat". funny, i've ridden in cabs with both of them, no problems there.

It is a sad thing to see and frustrating to experience. A relative of mine got more and more like that. Eventually it was found that she had Alzheimer's, the disease that (slowly) killed her. It can be scary what happens to one's brain with time. I really hope he was just being a weenie control freak but there could be an underlying problem that will only emerge with time.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

Amazing.