In observance of Mothers Day: Yo mamma jokes

I'll start. Yo mamma so fat when she wears a red dress the kids yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"

she got fired from the skittles plant for trying to alphabatize them.

when she sits on the curb her feet don't reach the ground.

when you asked her for a color tv, she said "which color?"

I dont know whether to give her gum or toilet paper

Artist: Pharcyde
Album: Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde
Song: Ya Mama

Verse One: Booty Brown

Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk

Refrain:

Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:

Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Two: Slim Kid Tre

Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies

Refrain:

On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Three: Fat Lip

Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue

Refrain:

Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that

Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Verse Four: Imani

Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet

Refrain:

Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that

Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

Outro:

Ya mama got snake skin teeth
Ya mama wears coat hangers for earrings , dude she looks like.... hehehe
Ya mama was making sex threats to Ricky Bell and shit
Ya mama jacked the Kool-aid man for a sip, nigga
Ya mama was walking down on Sunset with a 99 cent sign on her back
(You're a sellout) ya mama's a sellout nigga ya mama
Nigga ya mama did a pop tune nigga
Ya mama's glasses are so thick she look into a map
and see people wavin at her
Your mother got an Ouija board on her back
Sidney with EQ and everything what he be sayin
His mother be hooked, fishin with a hook and reel at the frozen food section
Tre's mama got Playdough teeth
Ya mother be eatin daisies like Now and Laters and shit
Ya mama's an extra on the Simpsons and shit
Ya mama's so fat you can't even see her legs
it just looks like she's just gliding across the floor...

http://www.ohhla.com/anonymous/pharcyde/bizarre/ya_mama.phr.txt

...when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"

at :rofl: such :rofl: INAPPROPRIATE :rofl: jokes.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

http://www.jokes.com/schtuff/waspyomama/

They are funny.

My favorite: Your mother is so neurotic, she throws dinner parties for the voices in her head!

Why do I find these hysterical?

Anyway, a few years ago on Table Talk (Salon) there was a thread titled 'Dozens', which is, for some reason, what the 'Yo Mama' jokes are called. This thread went so completely insane it was painful to read. It eventual evolved into quantum physics 'Yo Mama's, I kid you not, that were utterly mind bending. I'll try and see if I can find them - I know I saved them.

you can see her feet on her drivers license picture.

she looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock!

Her social security number is 1.

she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

...she made Speed Stick slow down.