Am I selfish or just patronizing?

So, we are going to FLA to visit my mom and have arranged to go for 2 days to Orlando with my 5 year old.

Mom is not in the best of health. She's battled cancer and it looks like its back with a vengance. Her chemo did some damage to her heart and she has arthritis, so she doesn't get around very well.

I really want my mother to go with us... it very well may be the last time she sees her granddaughter, and I really want it to be special. I have told her she doesn't have to go and shouldn't go if she doesn't feel up to it, but at least as far as she has told me she really wants to go too. Maybe she won't tell me for fear of disappointing me?

At the same time, I am worried about her health. I'm insiting that we rent a scooter for her, because she just can't walk the distances. Hopefully, we'll have a canopy or an umbrella to give her some shade. i figure she's not the first grandmother to do to disney world in FLA.

Today, my sisters emailed me to tell me that I should tell her not to go. I'm worried too and I hopefully am making adequate arrangements. In addition, my mom is an adult last time I checked and ought to know her limits better than we do (she does get winded walking around the mall for example, so I think the scooter is an absolute necessity). 'm thinking of asking her to check with her doctor?

Am I being patronizing to my mother, an adult who can make her own decisions? Am I being selfish, not looking at obvious hazards ?

...then let her make up her own mind, and respect her decision, even if it is to go along because you want her to. Make her as comfortable as possible, but be prepared to abort the trip if necessary. Have a good time.

I think you're doing the right thing. You shouldn't make her feel guilty, and you should be willing to accept that she might not feel up to coming along, or spending all day out in the park, but she probably is excited about the chance to be out and about with you, and especially your daughter. Your mom no doubt knows she's not in great shape and that this could be her last chance at quality time with her granddaughter, so I don't think you are being selfish in the least to make these arrangements so that she can safely come along. She's probably willing to take some risks if it means having a great time with her family. In the end, that's more important.

My father had good days and bad days when he was dealing with cancer. Each person is so different though, it's hard to say.

If it were me, I would skip Orlando all together and be with Mom. You've had five glorious years with your daughter and a lifetime with your mom, but now it's their time to bond. The amount of time between the two are limited and while your mother can definately make her own decisions, you're daughter can not. Let her know your mother in the best possible circumstances.

And if she can't go with you to the park, cancel the trip and spend the time with her in her home.

You can go to the park another time.