HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13.Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15.Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16.Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18.Honk and wave to strangers.
19.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20.TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21.type only in lowercase.
22.dont use any punctuation either
23.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27.Ask people what gender they are.
28.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30.Sing along at the opera.
31.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

There was one point in my life where I ended up on some fax machine's nightly distribution list. After getting too many calls at 3 in the morning, I got caller ID, then used WinFax to send over 100 solid black pages a night in return.

It stopped in about three days.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

This is what I did when students would turn in loose pages of homework...

You have me at #1. Now to read the rest.

ears and grimacing." :rofl:

I'm afraid I do that now!

Try being a lawyer...................

when someone else is driving giving the order. I'll tell them mine one piece at a time and make them repeat it.

"double cheeseburger"
double cheeseburger
"large fries"
large fries
"large coke"
large coke
"to go"
to go
"AH HAHAHAHA!"

1. wax the ceiling
2. "rearrange" political campaign signs.
3. Sharpen your teeth
4. play houdinid with one of your siblings
5. braid your dog's hair
6. clean and polish your belly button
7. water your dog....see if he grows
8. wash a tree
9. Knight yourself
10. Name your child Edsel
11. Give your cat a Mohawk
12. purr
13. mow your carpet
14. vaccum your lawn
15. Play pt boone records backward
16. Have your pillow X rayed
17. Drink straight shots....of water
18. CALMLY have a nervous break down
19. Get your dog braces
20. take your car apart..put it back together inside out
21. Buff your cat
22. rake your carpet
23. re-elect richard nixon
24. test thin ice.....with a pogo stick
25. apply for a unicorn hunting license
26. talk to your self
27. have a fight with your self
28. kiss and make up
29. hold hands
30. buy the brooklyn bridge...mail it to your friend

:hi:

I don't know if my modem sounds come across in text form.