My kid was kicked out of kindergarten. Ask me anything.

I don't even know how to begin to explain.

does s/he have to change schools or something? I've never heard of a kindergartener being kicked out of school before. Are you ok?

He's going to be there through the end of the year, but he's not welcome for summer or next year.

Guess those fuckers can do what they want.

Please tell me this isn't a sad story, but a really fun one. If not, I'm really sorry that it happened.
Duckie

You'd think they'd just deal with the problem for a few more weeks.

Sounds like a spite thing, to me!

Or does this affect first grade next year, too?

Chin up. They grew up one day. My six year old had problems this year, too.

They really fucked us over good. Too late to get another placement.

They are REQUIRED to provide an education for your child.
Duckie

don't sweat it.

What happened? :hug:

with pottying, and now with tantrums. We have been working with a social worker and doing all they suggest. The talk has been of having him repeat kindergarten. But now they drop this bomb on us that they don't want him back. The whole process has been totally mishandled.

You are working on the problem but they still kicked him out? Pathetic! You are better off in public schools. I'm a teacher and administrator.

It's the best option in my opinion.

never too early to get 'em stated!

Kick a kid out of kindergarten for cryin out loud!? Now that's just silly...

to need a second year of kindergartern for maturity reasons.

But kicked out ? Did he stash something in his backpack that shouldn't have been there?

Please share...:hug:

We only have about two weeks of school left around here. I cannot imagine a child getting kicked out at this point.

:hug:

What on earth happened?

but is not wanted for the summer program.

:wtf:

What happened? Was this a public school?

A Jewish day school.

Not to start an argument or anything, you know that, but I'd never send any of my kids to a private school, for any reason.

Redstone

but alas, it is not to be.

to get a more general kind of education, what they used to call "well-rounded," rather than one that's focused on a particular societal / religious point of view?

I just think that it might be better for kids to be exposed to a wider spectrum of beliefs and learnings.

Not being anti-religious or anti- anything else. Just asking you to consider that the kids might benefit from being a part of the "melting pot" of public school, as opposed to a more insular school system.

Redstone

Edited for spelling, and to ask when was the last time you heard anyone use the word "insular."

Our neighborhood public school has a so-so reputation. But it looks like we'll be checking it out.

I'm a parent of a 4 year old, so we'll be going through the school thing, soon. I know it's got to be tough to plan your child's education, and then have things turn out different from what you planned.

to a Fundamentalist Baptist school if they don't relent. They wouldn't want that on their conscience.


Seriously, though, sorry to hear it, and just a suggestion: make the choice seem like your own, at least to your child, so he doesn't feel inadequate or unwanted by the school, which could lower his self-esteem and cause him to be more rebellious.

OMG, that would never fly around here, although we have a huge number of Jewish day schools, so there is one to fit any type of needs you might have.

I am so sorry to hear that. Does your town have some sort of "Torah for Everyone" program where he can at least get a Jewish Education?

:hug:

I hope things work out for you. Your poor little guy, give him a hug for me.

Debbi

I wasn't socializing properly. I would only play with one toy, over and over and over and over and over. I wouldn't volunteer answers in class but knew the answers if asked.

If they had known what they were doing, they would have diagnosed my Asperger's syndrome and saved me years of grief.

Lucky for us he has two days left of school. He already was permanently kicked off the bus-for the rest of his school career.

It's ALL FINE. :hug: It's just uncomfortable having your best laid "plans" torpedoed.

I just got a new job that I really like, that offers the best hope of happiness for me, and by extension to my family, in a long time.

for heavens sake... the kid isn't ready yet.

And if he does do public education WHEN HE'S READY, you can try Jewish private school in a few years.

you're coming across as extremely judgmental, which isn't helping the OP in the slightest.

Perhaps sending him to my mother's in the country. She's a very gentle soul. I've asked her to ask around for a kindly teenager to hire to play with him for a few hours each day.

When I was home unemployed this winter I nearly went nuts. I don't think stay-at-home motherhood is for me.

BTW I designed your avatar.

extended families lived close to one another and people didn't lock their doors.

Still, it's worthwhile to do something.

Sorry to hear about the private school-maybe they are just for profit?

They're just clueless.

real plan with how to deal with them?

Short of genuine emotional development problems, which you haven't mentioned, you need to systematically establish what the problems are, and find a real permanent solution.

I sense there is some self-criticism going on, and that you're feeling as though you are responsible for creating the behavior issues, and unfortunately, as parents, behaviors are taught by us. We must accept our role in our children's behaviors. You can accept responsibility without beating the crap out of yourself. The point is to acknowledge the problem and work to resolution on it, rather than self-flagilation.

When you can do that, and it's really, really, really hard, then you can move on to what's troubling the lad, and to an actual resolution. YOu both need to work on this series of issues together.

I COMPLETELY understand being unable to be a stay at home mom, oh heavens can I relate. I couldn't WAIT to get back to work after I have my daughter. 8 weeks at home was agony. There is no way on any planet I could do it for a pre-schooler either. My daughter is now 12 and it wasn't until she was at least 6 that I found myself enjoying spending actual time with her that wasn't duty bound... She's a very very groovy gal.

That being said, you need to actually address the entire series of problems and not just send your son away for the summer. This is the time when you need to realize what the behavior problems are and how you are going to deal with them, for good.

This unfortunately is your wake up call. And even though I imagine you're ranging between tears and rage at my words -- and I'm sorry -- but trite as this sounds, I suggest you make contact with of all things, Nanny 911. I've watched numerous episodes of this show, and I'm astonished at their simply, tough love resolutions to family behavior issues... I'm not a teevee gal, but these nannies and their resolutions to basic familial issues are fantastic.

http://www.fox.com/nanny911/info.htm

I don't believe you need a psychiatrist, but a child behaviorist counseling and NOT SOCIAL WORKERS. Bless their hearts, you don't need to be assigned to anyone.. you need to find a behaviorist compatible with YOU. I am willing to believe your boy isn't mentally disturbed. I think you just don't know how to deal with the behavioral problems that are manifesting themselves, and honestly, we're just parents. We can't do it right every time... we're just human.

So don't beat yourself up too badly, the key is that, like I said, this is your wake up call. Now is the time to take the steps to resolve the issue. And take the Nanny 911 issue seriously. Those gals WORK. Consider them the homeopathic remedy to child behavior issues.

Good luck, you'll both be FINE!

Kidding. It doesn't make you a bad parent. Necessarily. :P

that's not funny.

I've been there.

My younger son had so many issues around the time of kindergarten I thought I would go insane. My life was consumed for over three years with trying to "fix" things that were really beyond my control.

My son was very delayed in many things. He didn't talk until almost three, didn't potty train completely until almost seven. He didn't play much with other children, yet he was perfectly social and verbal with the family. People always thought I was lying when I said that he talked to us constantly at home, because he didn't talk at all at preschool.

But every kind of test they could do always came back normal. They couldn't find any reason why he was so different, so it was all chalked up as behavioral. And you know what that means. It must be mom's fault.

God, the guilt was terrible.

We did private preschool, although he could only go half a day because of the potty issues. Then he did two years of public school kindergarten. It was pretty awful, but he made it. Around first grade things began to look up. He had a really gentle teacher, and he developed some friendships. He also learned to read and that gave him a huge confidence boost.

Around second grade we started being pressured to put him on medication. We resisted that for two years, and now, finally in fourth grade, he has had a year where no one ever mentioned any "differences" to us. His teacher this year was creative and wonderful and encouraging.

I can't offer any real solution to what you're facing, except to say that there is no quick fix. They are just children, and every one is different. The thing they need most is time, and often schools don't have the time to deal with children who aren't on the standard "schedule" of development.

Hope you can find something for the summer. A couple of months with your mom is probably a good idea.

I don't want to slam teachers at all, but I can tell you that the dynamic between the kid and the teacher can play a HUGE role in how the kid does in school. We had one pre-school teacher that told us Material Girl was SUCH a huge discipline issue. Oddly enough, the other Pre-school teacher had zero issues with the same kid--on the same days!

As it turned out, they were just radically different people with different styles of teaching and different views of acceptable behavior. Material Girl, being a kid, figured out that she could get a "rise" out of the one teacher by doing certain things and thus we had a discipline issue.

Once Material Girl understood that it was not cool to "push Miss Christie's buttons" things started to improve.

It sounds like your little one is having some issues, but are they all the time or just with that one teacher? Is the potty training thing at home as well or is it just there? Is it possible they just don't get along and he's getting a bum rap?


Laura

I have observed that my son and one of his teachers don't have the warmest of relationships. Neither party is at fault, I believe, but I think that my son is the sensitive type (like his mom, yours truly, was) and takes admonishment to heart.

We met with the principal of the school today. Mostly we expressed our extreme disappointment with the process. However, we did mention that we don't truly know what is at the bottom of this, and I did note the dynamic between my son and one of his teachers.

wish I could remember more about it. Good luck to you and your kid.