Did you ever have an *epiphany*?

I mean something-that-changed-the-very-fabric-of-your-soul-epiphany...whatever it was about...that you were a huge geek, and you were OK with that...that you were gay...that you loved animals in perhaps a socially unacceptable way... :think:

When I was 8, I had like the worst. year. ever. In school, in music class, they introduced us to the Pete Seger song "Little Boxes". I was utterly HORRIFIED upon further contimplation of that song. I nearly burst into tears at the thought of it all. The same year, for no explainable reason...I was sitting in my room and listening to the Beach Boys "All Summer Long"...I realized I wasn't going to live forever, and that barring some miracle, nothing I EVER did would matter one iota in the grand scheme of things. I cried for like 3 days straight until my parents took me to the emergeny room. They essentially diagnosed me with having a nervous breakdown. At 8. x(

So yeah...your stories? :D

You were way ahead of your peers.

Sorry for the pain it gave you.

It was just gas.

That should cure what ails you.

:eyes:


edit: dolo amber gave me TB! :cry:

I hadn't eaten all day on 9-11, and I didn't eat that day, until the evening, when I drug myself into a restaurant and prepared to order a steak. I visualized the steak in front of me, and all I could think was that Michelle was dead, like that steak.

I can't eat meat anymore.

Not sure it changed my soul, but it clarified things.

really depressing, but I didn't feel like the world was falling apart, even on 9-11

That's why I no longer have anything to do with organized religions.

I call them "ah haaaa" moments.

But then they made me clean it up.

that's intense.


when i was 8 i was just super duper melodramatic.
i remember taking the song "It Was A Very Good Year" and changing the lyrics to something like:

"when i was seven years old
it was a very bad year.
my neighbor killed himself
in his backyard
and travis's dad found him
with a gun in his hand"

yeah. my sense of meter? not so good.

O c'mon, like everyone didn't think of that!

I'm so ashamed. I'm sorry.

i don't think i've heard that song, which amazed me for its tickytacky insight even as a little kid, in 40 years....

Beastie...

that I would sooner crack a joke than open up any skeletons that I may have...:nosarcasm:

In my first year in seminary, I lost 4 very close friends/relatives in 3 months. One of those was my best friend from high school, who was murdered. I'm sitting in Theology 101 (and all my other classes) in a daze, seriously wondering if the resurrection of Jesus is real, while surrounded by "I'm so happy to be in seminary" future pastors.

While I came through that spiritual crisis, it helped me to determine what was important. I vowed that if a friend needed me, that would be the priority: not the papers, not the grades, not attending class. I discovered that what matters most in life are the relationships we have with one another.

believe me, I take the season of Epiphany very seriously, too.

they are more preoccupied with death then your average folks......anyway I appreciate your experience. I hope people were able to be with you in a positive way....Many people get to the age of 60 and never get what you "got" at 8.

and often I have the ephinany that I am a complete failure.

I think I felt gay when I used to take showers with my girlfriend when I was like 8 years old. Good clean fun used to soap each other.
Anyway I also had a crush on Michael Palin as a teenager, so probably bi.

Realized that I was a complete, utter failure last November.

But you ARE NOT a complete, utter failure!

You need to discern the Spirits, dear. God does not create failure - God is the creator of possibilities, hopes, and dreams.

Now, stop listening to those dark voices! O8)

Nope God does not create failure, elshiva does! Sure is a lot of failures! Still want to k myself. Recent epiphany is to just k myself. :cry:

I'm a long-term depressive, too. :hi: Wanna chat?

Tucker

:cry:

I'm worried about you. :hug:

Don't worry about me. You are too kind and I am useless.

you can't be useless. Only we have perfected that fine art. :+ (although I can open jars, my cat makes me)

keep a mean bar, and send the most wonderful PM's.

You keep your "finer arts" hidden from the world. :loveya:

Men ARE NOT useless, though!

but just wait until you depend on one of us to empty the trash.:hide:

That is a silly stereotype, indeed! But LOL!

Glad you met one of my dear friends. :grouphug:

you just want me for my "other talents". I'm good with that.;)

:loveya:

Those days are gone. All that's left is us bad ones. Although I do have a clever nice guy disguise I use on special occasions. (I left it at the cleaners and they put STARCH in it. It chaffs now.):(

OMG! :rofl: You should do stand-up! You are great!

putting it on afterwords with starch. The "empathy" part rubs at the elbows and the sensitivity part rubs....well at that part. Don't even get me started on the "I care how your day went part". ( I'm suing the cleaners.)

God bless you for being hilarious!

You have a good day tomorrow. See you then.:hi:

:hi:

after my brother was killed in a car wreck... he was only 15, I decided I'd better do what I wanted with my life. So I applied to and went to grad school. Go figure.

epiphanies can be pretty intense.

I prayed Jesus would save me from fucked up, crazy chilhood abuses for six long years. Then one day when I was 13 I realized old Jesus ain't come 'round knocking on my door, so I grabbed the proverbial bull by the horns and fix things up myself (I busted my parents ass). Then I had it, I had belief in myself and realized... I am god, but not just me but that each one of us is God. There is my epiphany... happy shalalalongadingdong.

Waking to a phone call from a distraught mother. Her daughter, a sweet young girl I watched grow up, had been brutally murdered by her estranged husband. In a crystal clear moment I knew I would do anything they asked of me, without question. Thankfully, they never asked for anything but moral support.

I realized my depression is more than just chemical and I have to address issues of meaning and hope and big stuff like that. I'm a little at a loss, because I was content with the idea that life is basically crappy for everyone but most people have brain chemistry that allows them to ignore that fact. There is certainly a chemical component (I'm not going off my meds or anything dumb like that) but I realized the feeling of bleakness is a habit I got into, and I need to learn new ways to relate to the world.

Tucker

deal with suddenly realizing that I was going to die. Basically had a nervous breakdown.

AMazing how much we have in common, dolo. :hug:

The first time was when my grandmother was dying, and I was helping my aunt who took care of her deal with the situation. It was actually a non-eventful day for the most part, then suddenly I understood God to be the creator of the universe at a personal level.

The second time was a a Dead show, when I saw infinity when Jerry was playing.

now wait a minute! That's not even biologically possible!

The lengths some people will go just to be a smartass.

I had an epiphany once. Weird word to use for the realization that there is no god.

In second grade, I realized that I wasn't going to live forever, in class.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 21.

But then I work at it. I am constantly pondering the nature of the mind, the universe, life, etc. Ponder enough and breakthroughs occur. Epiphanies our simply the recognition of a new door opening. A host of possible new ways of looking at a the world open up.

but i drank too much earlier for coherence purposes :P

I was sort of angry at first....like "everybody's been lying to me all my life":grr:. Then after a week or so I accepted it and came out better on the other side.

My realization of mortality came when I answered the door and it was a life insurance salesman. I burst into tears! I would die! Yes, I would! And someday, if I had insurance, someone would be the recipient of money because of my death.

I don't know why more people don't crumble in the face of life insurance salespeople.

Here's another one. This isn't my epiphany; it's a friend's. It's considerably more lighthearted than the previous.

This is my friend Bob's ephiphany. He told this story the other night at a party. Bob is quite a handsome fellow and while he told the story, I noticed he was developing a bit of middle-aged spread: a pot belly :). We were drinking some fine wines from his collection. There he was, in his well-appointed suburban home, comfortable in his upscale, yet casual clothing, ruminating about how his life had developed at the age of 53.

He said, "I realized the other day that I'm 'over the hill.' Now, 'over the hill' is used in a disparaging way. Like the person is too old to see things in a new or different light. But I realized that 'over the hill' means I've done the hard part. I'm over the hill-- as in 'over the hard part.' From now on, it's coasting down the hill!"

I thought that was such an interesting "baby boomer" insight. I've never looked at "over the hill" the same again.

Now onward! Over the hill!


Cher

When I became a Christian and when I became an atheist (the paperwork followed).

bravo to beast man...

one, when i realized my best friend with cancer was going to die... i was maybe 9 and must have cried for about 4 hours. my mom was worried but i told her i was ok. ha. lotss of listening to heavy metal after that!
a while back, arguing with my wife. we used to really go at it pretty crazy sometimes, the kind of fight where afterwards i couldn't even remember what it had been about. anyway, i was trying to convince her my pathetic point was right, and she suddenly, tears running down her cheeks, says, 'you're right. i'm wrong.' i shut up like a stone for a minute, realizing how much stupid pain was being churned up over 'right and wrong.' who freakin cares? i felt so embarassed and miserable. i learned an awful lot in that moment. we have a lot of passion together, but we (i) had to go through a lot to get to where we are now. i am better at not getting caught up in the terrible need to be right...

Upon listening to a Pearl Jam song about 11 years ago. It just took awhile to admit it and actually deal with it like I should have many years ago. :(