Okay, so I have depression and anxiety. what else is new?

I've known that for a long time, though the former is based on situations and the latter has been building up over decades because of bullying, my inability to interact with people, you name it.

I didn't need to take an MMPI (which utterly discounted any serious whacko-jacko condition, sorry lurkrs and stalkers, I'm not schizophrenic whatsoever. :P )

And I may not be suited for the jobs in the IT world that I reeeeeally want to do, but I still need a job to pay the bills. (so it seems I'll be a burger slop worker for the rest of whatever, then?!) We sometimes have to do what we don't want to do. (so, me being a bizarre little pariah of a hermit with no social life and doing my damndest to learn things I'm obviously no good at is something I chose to do?!)

So, in essence, my doctor said I'm useless. Again, what else is new?

Asperger's is still a factor, but it doesn't matter. Not in this world.

I think I'll stick with my regular counselor. At least I feel like there's a shred of hope despite it all. :eyes:

So, I'm just a drone. I've got to come to grips with that.

I think he thought my sense of humor was crap too. :-)

it helps you disociate an emotions from thoughts... worked for me

they have a nice little video lesson at http://www.buddhanet.net and some lessons in their Buddhanet Audio section..lower left on home age... meditation is simply traing the mind.. depression and other problems can just be symptoms of and untrained mind.. it isnt 'working' for 'you'... you own it, learn to make it do what it is supposed to do.. work for you.. it is its own worst maste.. the Buddhists call an untrained mind..."the Monkey Mind".. always here and there getting nothing done... the mind with roveing thoughts like slowly turning the tuner on an AM radio.. is the conventional mind. the nature mind that lies quietly underneith is luminous, calm and blissful