Trash movie review! Exorcist: The Beginning

lots of spoilers here, but if you are really thinking of watching this masterpiece, you can read it anyway & still be shocked at how bad it is...

so i guess it takes place before 'the exorcist' or whatever & features lots of 'exotic' locales like egypt & tanzania & whatnot... i suppose they were going for the 'epic' approach...

the lead character is father merrin in his youth... someone hires him to find a small hand-sized relic (it kinda looks like that dinosaur on jurassic park that spits black stuff in the guy's eyes after he crashes his jeep in the rain)...

so anyway, father merrin goes to someplace or other in the desert & finds some sort of devil temple buried in the ground...



and i guess it's a big deal cause he finds that statue that you see in the original exorcist... and maybe you're supposed to go 'ohhh ahh that explains it'

then a few minutes later, back at the father's camp site, there is a young boy who gets eaten alive by cgi hyenas...



oh yeah, but right before that, some older guy sees a hyena and like falls down & starts shaking or something...

then the young boy's brother gets possessed for a while... but then he isn't... but then he is again...



and then he isn't again...

so the boy disappears and this sandstorm comes and there's some sort of battle going on where some tribal people are dancing around a fire & others are shooting guns at them... and then some woman has a baby with bugs and maggots on it & they hold it in the air...

then father merrin goes into the devil temple to find the little boy... who (it TURNS OUT) has been captured by the same demon that possessed regan in the original exorcist... but only this time it possesses some woman father merrin fell in love with like an hour beforehand... and the demon has the same voice...



and she says things like 'f*ck me father merrin' & all that stuff and he says things like 'I CAST YOU OOOOUTT' and then she like gets thrown against a wall & the audience is supposed to clap & get all riled up...

so i guess he gets the demon out of her & she wakes up but then her head starts to bleed & she dies...

yes, it was a sequel worthy of 'exorcist 2: the heretic'

it'll be even more ripe in a few years when the shitty fx look even cheesier

way to go renny harlin! :yourock:

:thumbsup: :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

I thought I'd respond to your thread, because we are both next to each other and have no reponses. Stupid movie to try to make a franchise out of, non?

Renny Harlin would've summed it up just fine

How does he continue to get directing jobs?

The Northmen (2006) (announced)
Land of Legend (2005) (announced)
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
Mindhunters (2004)
Driven (2001) - Stallone wrote this
T.R.A.X. (2000) (TV)
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) -Wife Geena Davis
Cutthroat Island (1995) again with the wife
Cliffhanger (1993) - more Stallone
"Gladiaattorit" (1993) TV Series
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990) - couldn't handle Alien3, left for this
Die Hard 2 (1990)
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Prison (1988)
Born American (1986)
Huostaanotto (1980) (as Lauri Harjola)

Renny Harlin needs to be bludgeoned :P

I guess I could look it up, but I'm not really that interested. I just wanted to post in your thread.:hi:

look on his face throughout the film :D

Maybe I'll have to see it.:D

supposedly has the Paul Schrader version as well. Would be interesting to see how the original director of this movie compares with the Harlin version, or not.

now I am glad I rented that Police Academy flick :P