Most painful MST3K episode?

Most of the movies on the now cancelled Mystery Science Theater 3000 were pretty bad, but some are downright painful to watch.

make the connection between Santa Claus and Martians. That movie is my watermark for both surreal and bad.

... when she is on television?

It's...horrible. Just amazingly bad.

The film's soundtrack was mostly lost, and they did a voice-over rather than retake all the sounds/dialogue.

And the creature...like a huge rug being carried by 2-3 people bent over.

The people 'eaten' by the creature...could have just walked away slowly..and some DID in one scene...walking slowly out of a dance hall/gym as the creature came in.

ARRRGH!

My fiancee, who usually loves bad horror/sci fi couldn't even sit through it.

that was one of my all time favorite MST-3K episodes. The people literally climb into the carpets and blankets that make up the monster! It was a riot. :rofl:

x( :freak:

Manos: Hands of fate (possibly the worst film ever made) and the Cavedwellers (low budget early 80s garbage about sorcerers and swordfighters and cavemen :shrug:)

... writing the script in his cave while what's her name was talking to him.

Medieval setting . . . TIRE TRACKS on the field!!

IMDB's users thought they were hard to watch as well.

We'll take a modern glider and wrap the handle with sticks and stuff. That way it will look stone age.

Oh yeah, and gunpowder will not explode by putting itin a little bag. It needs to be contained and ignited.

Ever been attacked by a velour snake?

That one was soo funny, I laugh myself into a state of pain watching it.

Crow: "Oh that cape is FABULOUS!"

But yes, Manos: Hands of Fate (Which translates to: "Hands: Hands of Fate") was soooo bad not even Joel (or was it Mike?) and the bots could make it funny.

Really painfully bad,

There was that one not-as-macho bad guy who was the son of the ruler who had captured the Viking men, and Joel kept lisp-screaming, "I'm a fierce Grimwald Warrior!"

TlalocW

I think

it was based on a Finnish fairy tale about a giant magic rock called the "Sampo"

That was pretty rough. Here's a good skull, a good starter skull.

In fact, the movie itself seems better than their usual load - but the comments definitely add to it.

Scene: The sun comes up, and all the roosters start crowing
Crow: This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast Chicken
Mike: Peter must be going around denying everybody!

"Wild Rebels," - about a former stock car racer/musician who gets involved with a motorcycle foursome who rob banks "for kicks, man" was good. Joel re-enacted a scene by singing a song to Gypsy, and Crow and Tom came out in leather jackets and said, "Boy, you're messing with private stock," then jumped him. That cracked my friends and I up for about 10 minutes.

TlalocW

...damn comedy show ever broadcast.

I still miss it.

Sure wish the Brains could find it in themselves to toss us a new episode once in a while.

:thumbsup:

another MST3K fanatic :D

I watched the Bloodwaters of Dr. Z. last night :D

I may never be the same again :scared:

Not to be confused by "Prince of Space."

"Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk."

Starring the cabbage-patch Elvis and his real live Dad and his real live Dad's girl friend who portray's his on-screen girlfriend. It's icky because the interactions between Arch Hall Sr. and what's her name (played Roxy) suggest something between them when they are supposed to be father and daughter on screen!

So Arch Hall Sr. goes hiking overnight in the desert. A chopper flies him out there and leaves him alone. For the trek, he has a pith hat, safari shirt and shorts, wingtips, black socks, no water, no bed roll, a handbag with a big medium format camera and shaving gear. Plus he is way out of shape.

:scared:

Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies, directed by Ray Dennis Steckler, alias Cash Flagg who got thrown into the pool near the end of Eegah!. I actually find this episode quite entertaining, but it is a collosally bad film. Still, the first ever horror musical is nowhere near as bad as Manos. Nor is it as bad as the intensely boring Steckler opus Blood Shack. Hey! Hey, ladies! I hear Ortega is still single!

Crawling Hand from the first season where Josh Weinstien plays Servo. It's just hard to watch.

Teenage Strangler. There seems to be a running theme with bad movies. Many have whiney misfits like Mikey in this film or Mickey in Screaming Skull. Likewise, many have a dreamy, creepy girl character (creepy girl from Catalina Caper, what's her name from Party Beach, the mute from Phantom Planet etc.) "Jimmy didn't steal no bike!"

Coleman Francis Trilogy: Red Zone Cuba, Skydivers and Beast of Yucca Flats. Haven't seen Yucca Flats, but I am sure it is safe to say that all three contain dreary characters and barely coherent dialogue. They all have an oily feel to them. Check out John Carradine's rendition of Night Train to Mundo Fini in Red Zone.

"Attack of the Eye Creatures"??

THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE!!!!!

That movie just might have been worse than Manos!

and the modern highway in the background?

I still have no clue what the hell that thing's about.

it's a ridiculously complicated back story which the viewer is completely unable to comprehend/care about. Out of no where a bunch of people get their heads chopped of in proud B-movie soccer ball style.

... except maybe Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.

Whatever is wrong with Cave Dwellers (plenty!) at least it was not filmed with an itty-bitty book lite. Sure it has an incomprehensible story, an unconvincing villan, a sacred rear view mirror, auto parts and wicker for armor, a plush snake, a dumber-than-a-stack-of-bricks hero, a puppet giant spider ... um, huh ... yeah, yah know what? I'm beginning to see what you mean.

I liked the invisible fight scene.

Ben Murphy holds the gun still and hits the guy with an eight foot arm.

that and Manos were the two worst ever

Three of his movies were on MST3K: Skydivers, Red Zone Cuba, and Beast of the Yucca Flats. I've seen them all except for Beast. These movies are fucking terrible, especially Red Zone Cuba. It features inexplicable jump cuts, a Curly look-alike, "I'm Cherokee Jack.', and the worst Castro impersonation I've ever seen. Awful, awful shit.

Skydivers is bad too, but it's saved by the well-endowed blonde in the dance scene.

... with my enormous package splayed out."

Aaaagh! Brain bleech!

Yah, know, Lt. Justine should have known that it would take more than six guys to invade Cuba.

You're a sick, sick man;-) . Well ,can't forget about skydivers: "It's Pat Buchanan and he's got a gun!"

... looks like someones last known photograph."

starring the fantastic, one-and-only John Mikl Thor.

Crazy Mixed Up Zombies.

The movie itself is bad and the show was in its declining phase at the time.

... with a hillarious feature commentary from Joe Bob Briggs.

I still have nightmares about the dancing in that one.

My wife's favorite host segment is when Mike is singing and Crow keeps appearing to warn him that the ship is on fire.

I was watching the DVD at a friends house we were laughing so hard at that part we woke up her daughter.

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Even if he does look like a chicken in barely adequate pants.

:wow:

Did I just see a flying saucer crash into a giant picture of Hitler?
:wtf:

Um, yup.
:shrug:

Awful. awful stuff. "Empirical data suggests that your weapons against me are without merit!" The head guy from Krank-Whore really, really needed some underwear. There are two points in the move which are horrible because you can see his package. It doesn't help that M&TB point it out:puke:.

Turned it off after five minutes; horrible, just horrible.

There are some great riffs that you're missing by not watching it. A great, great episode. Somehow the PBS station in New York that made it got Raul Julia to be in it. I wonder how that happened?

Maybe someday, when I'm a bit stronger and braver :-)

watch "Ring of Terror" :banghead:

No Grampa Borgnein! Stop!

Or how 'bout Quest of the Delta Kahniggets?

Tonight, I think I will have a Robert Z'Dar film festival. Oh, Z'No!

And it's a Texas film! Ooof!