Need Teenager Advice

I recently moved in with my boyfriend who has two children, a 10yr old boy and 13yr old girl. I have two girls myself, 7 and 13. They are all awsome, articulate, funny, well-behaved kids but I can't seem to get the two 13 year old girls to warm-up to each other. They don't have any issues with one another, yet they just don't seem to have any interest in each other even though they are very much alike. Any ideas on how I can help speed up this process?

Be patient... Let nature take it's course.

:)

You have to let them go at their own pace.

You'll be wishing for this time of relative peace.

They're going to have to warm up to each other on their own. Any efforts you or your boyfriend make to "speed up" this process will backfire, because they'll feel you're trying to force them into a phony relationship just to make you happy. I've seen it happen too many times.

Kids don't like being made to feel they're "supposed" to be close just because their parents are. They deeply resent any such expectation. Leave them alone.

I don't know that I want or need them to be "close" but it sure would be nice to hear them giggling together or discusing something....anything. But I will keep your advice in mind.

Just leave well alone. It'll be ok, or it won't, but there's nothing you can do to improve things, and millions of things you could do to make it far worse.

to each other by sniffing under the door for smell first.. . . .

Oh wait, we're talking teenagers, not cats. Sorry, can't help.

:evilgrin:

if they both get used to being locked up, they might learn to like each other and hate you pretty quickly

Great minds think alike :)

Hmmm, I wonder if she's tried catnip :)

Actually it did work for the cats..........

Works with cats... are teenage girls that different? :shrug:

just because they are similar people doesn't mean they want friendship thrust upon them. As long as they are civil to each other and others let it be.

common cause they would find some friendship. Maybe. Is it worth it to you?
Not to me...

I don't want to speed THAT up!

or you! *hugs*

provide opportunities for them to make it less awkward for them to get to know each other...like taking them to the mall and giving them some money to spend as they like, or a walk along the boardwalk at the beach, or a visit to an amusement park.

I'm remembering 13 as such a self-conscious age. It always helped to have something other than our uncomfortable selves to focus on and talk about.

Also, your current situation is probably kind of scary for both the girls. They may be afraid to warm up to each other if they aren't sure your relationship will work out with your boyfriend. It's pretty understandable, really. It's best to just let them know that you respect their individual feelings and their right to not warm up to each other if they choose.

to begin with. I too remember being 13 (it wasn't that long ago) and yes, it is probably the most akward time in my life. I suppose that time will take care of everything.

Have your boyfriend's children warmed up to you? If they like you, it could just be a matter of time until the girls get to know each other.

But speaking from my own experience, my dad remarried when I was 14 and his wife has a daughter the same age as I am. I was against the marriage from the get-go and my "step-sister" became someone who for four years (half the time, time divided between parents) lived at the other end of my house, but I don't really know her. But we don't really have anything in common..different personalities, different likes, goals, schools, on and on.. Then I left for college and she moved out.

So..don't want to fill you with horror stories or anything but that's my experience. If the kids (on either side) don't feel that strongly about your relationship, then it should go alot smoother.

two older girls I'm worried about. I don't want to force them to be best friends, I would just like for them to interact. I didn't have any kind of a relationship with my step-sister and I'm trying to avoid that happening again.

which is a unique position within a family. Middles and babies (birth order wise) can be more flexible and their position is less threatened by the addition of siblings. This may be a special challenge for the two oldest girls.

That would explain why the two younger ones have adapted perfectly.