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I was happily married for 5 years, widowed, and then happily married for 16 years and counting.
I can honestly say that "keeping your mouth shut whenever we say something totally off the wall' is the hardest thing a husband has to do to keep peace.
With both wives, the "start date' varied wildly, both were/are extremely irregular, so there was no way to predict reliably when that would be, so it very often came out of the blue as far I was concerned.
Come home, "hi sweetie!" WHAM. Sucker punch. If you can walk into that buzzsaw and NOT react, I'll give you a medal. It takes extreme self-control. Its worth it, of course, but its not as easy as just saying "take it with a smile".
Just my two cents.
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