White House unveils new Iraq withdrawl strategy:

(AP) Vice-President Richard Cheney is being quite candid about the current administrations projected plan for US military withdrawl from Iraq. Facing harsh criticism from political pundits and the general population, Cheney says, that the writing is on the wall, and even though the mission is far from accomplished and is basically a "fuck sandwich", the time has come to reposition the troops in other theaters of operation, or as a last resort, return them to the US.

The strategy is three-tiered, and involves distracting the American public thusly: By establishing a kangaroo court to try a noted musical celebrity and cultural icon for sex crimes involving children. In the event that phase one begins to falter, a story about a "runaway bride" may be used as secondary support. Once phase one has been executed, the second and third prongs of the operation are to cover the engagement of a high-profile cult celebrity member to a mediocre talent half his age, and finally release the volly of summer blockbusters.

When pressed for the identities of these celebrities, Cheney stated that they couldn't be identified, for "...obvious reasons of national security, asshole".

The vice president commented that this three-prong operation has been highly successful in the past, and will guarantee a complete withdrawl from the Iraq theater of operations just in time for Frosh Week.

Funny!
:rofl: