"Saving Private Lynch"

David Lynch, that is.

Give me your plot outline.

it starts off with a possum spinning in a black hole. then we cut to a scene where two transvestite satanists are kissing each other in front of a cracked black and white TV where Dumbo is paused on the ballerina scene.
two heavily armed special forces agents run in and grab one of the transvestites and say "Its okay, we are all oppossums". ANd one of the transvestites says "I am an opposum too". Cut to black hole, roll credits.

Great use of jungian symbolism!:thumbsup:

... a wiry man, with 3 days worth of salt and pepper stubble on his face, lights a cigarette, and extinguishes the match by pinching it between his thumb and forefinger. He does this without licking them first.

He doesn't grimace from the pain. He simply draws in an expansive lungfull of odiferous carcinogens, then slowly exhales. He glances up.

There she is. 5'-4" tall, well proportioned and shapely. Her hair is a deep auburn color, but not one typically found in nature. Only in cheap hair color formulas...

"Where have you been all my life?" he says, his voice slightly deeper than that of Brenda Vaccaro.

"Poughkeepsie, mostly. I did spend some time in Ypsilanti, though, during the war. I just have this thing for towns with silly names, I guess".

"Swell. Let's go." They get into his car, a Packard with a bald right rear tire.

They drive off into the misty night.

The car explodes. The man's last thought, before his life was extinguished, passed through his consciousness very quickly and clearly.

"Damn! So that's what 'inflammable' means!"

Two little people are standing on nearby streetcorner. Both appear to be surfers, with long wet blond hair, and matching tattoos that confess their affinity for tasty waves. The first little person turns to the second.

"Cool, dude. See that?"

"Yeah, man. Fuckin-A awesome, bud" responds the second little person.

Fade to black.

(not sure whether this is the beginning or the ending of the movie. It just belongs there somewhere..)

Howzat?

(edited to add reference to little people)

:D

It could've used a few midgets, but otherwise it was great!:thumbsup:

Kick.

:kick:

SCENE ONE:

Jessica Lynch lies being tortured in an Iraqi hospital. The evil doctors hear a knock at the door, and find a video tape lying at the front door.

They play the tape, and a black-and-white video of a clean Iraqi hospital with Lynch recieving good medical care and being attended is shown.

Cue screaming and more torture. Fade to black.

SCENE TWO:

Lynch is strapped down in filth, agonized. US soldiers burst into the hospital, shooting her captors as they try to pull out guns. Bright white light illuminates them.

Pan to Jessica's relieved face.

Cue patriotic music. Fade in American flag waving.

As they carry Jessica away, a soldier trips over a video tape lying in front of the hospital, and pockets it.

SCENE THREE:

The soldier plays the tape after the mission. It is in black and white. It shows the soldiers crashing down the hospital door into a clean and orderly hospital. Doctors and staff stand there stunned, not moving. Yelling at the doctors, they rip monitors off Jessica and take her away.

The tape ends.

SCENE FOUR:

Jessica lies in a military hospital and gets a visit from Duyba. She asks who he is, and doesn't seem to recognize him.

"Who are you?"
"I'm your president."
"I don't remember voting for you."
"I'm in the whitehouse." He hands her a phone. "Call me."
She calls the whitehouse number. The voice of Dubya answers it. She hangs up without saying a word.

SCENE FIVE:

Jessica is still in the hospital bed. A nurse comes over to her and asks if she needs anything. She doesn't have the strength to write, so asks for a camera or tape recorder to send a message to her family.

"I'm sorry," the nurse says. "We don't have those things. We like to remember things our own way, not necessarily how they happened."

SCENE SIX:

Jessica is in BDUs in the desert, riding in a humvee. Iraqis ambush her convoy. She uses a M4A1 and shoots dozens of enemy soldiers, but they keep coming. They keep coming, they are almost there...

Shift to Jessica waking up in a bed at home. The movie ends, with David Bowie playing.