What if the Jessica Lynch movie was directed by David Lynch?

Now THAT would be fun!

Some highlights:

1. Jessica has a hot lesbian scene with Naomi Watts;

2. Jessica saved from the Iraq hospital by a dancing dwarf;

3. In the end she wakes up and it was all a dream... or was it?;

4. The whole mystery comes down to a severed ear.

I'll bet it would be more truthful than the version on NBC!

Now THAT is a movie I'd watch! :D

and Dick Cheney could show up lurking evilly in the background

:D

Lynch would probably do the story justice.

and not a Humvee.

WooHoo

ewww... "Boxing Helena"

ewwww...

sadly, sometimes talent doesn't go from one generation to the next.

I couldn't make it through 20 minutes of that crap.

I'd watch SPR if Lynch did it. At the very least it would be one of the most interesting war films ever made.

he's one of the top gods in my pantheon. The man can literally do NO WRONG after ERASERHEAD.

Gawd, I love that movie.

If you haven't checked out the DVD of it he put out himself, by all means... RUN! Same goes with the "Short Films" DVD... bound to be ebayable collector's items...

A short films collection? I'll have to run over there and look it up now.

is worth the price of entry alone. Tons of interview bits ala Eraserhead... and the hysterical "Cowboy and the Frenchman" is good stuff too.

Also good is the "You Don't Know Jack" documentary about Nance. I didn't think it would be very good, but it had me laughing hysterically and then sobbing uncontrollably. Very powerful.

Also: Rumsfeld screaming, "DON'T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME!!!"

....driving down a dark road looking for weapons of mass destruction

SCENE ONE:

Jessica Lynch sits being tortured in an Iraqi hospital. The doctors hear a knock at the door, and find a video tape lying at the front door.

They play the tape, and a black-and-white video of a clean Iraqi hospital with Lynch recieving good medical care and being attended is shown.

Cue screaming and more torture. Fade to black.

SCENE TWO:

Lynch is strapped down in filth, agonized. US soldiers burst into the hospital, shooting her captors as they try to pull out guns.

Pan to Jessica's relieved face.

Cue patriotic music. Fade in American flag waving.

As they carry Jessica away, a soldier trips over a video tape lying in front of the hospital.

SCENE THREE:

The soldier plays the tape after the mission. It is in black and white. It shows the soldiers crashing down the hospital door into a clean and orderly hospital. Doctors and staff stand there stunned, not moving. Yelling at the doctors, they rip monitors off Jessica and take her away.

The tape ends.

SCENE FOUR:

Jessica lies in a military hospital and gets a visit from Duyba. She asks who he is, and doesn't seem to recognize him.

"Who are you?"
"I'm your president."
"I don't remember voting for you."
"I'm in the whitehouse." He hands her a phone. "Call me."
She calls the whitehouse number. The voice of Dubya answers it. She hangs up without saying a word.

SCENE FIVE:

Jessica is still in the hospital bed. A nurse comes over to her and asks if she needs anything. She doesn't have the strength to write, so asks for a camera or tape recorder to send a message to her family.

"I'm sorry," the nurse says. "We don't have those things. We like to remember things our own way, not necessarily how they happened."

SCENE SIX:

Jessica is in BDUs in the desert, riding in a humvee. Iraqis ambush her convoy. She uses a M4A1 and shoots dozens of enemy soldiers, but they keep coming. They keep coming, they are almost there...

Shift to Jessica waking up in a bed at home. The movie ends, with David Bowie playing.

Sounds like a winner to me :).