I'm a lumberjack!

ok, not really. But I did my best impersonation of one tonight clearing limbs off my mother-in-law's house after the top of a tree fell on her house. No major damage luckily, but all I had was a hand saw to do the cutting...now I need to get a chainsaw to finish cleaning up. But now it's time for a beer, ask me anything!

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

Mounties:
He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?!

Chorus:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!

Mounties:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?!
Suspenders...and a bra?!

...He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

...He's/I'm a lumberjack and he's/I'm OK
He/I sleep all night and he/I work all day.

without hearing that song in my head.

but I don't press wildflowers :P

:P

I have better teeth :D

:D

I couldn't pass up the obligatory British joke :D

My sister was an NAU student

And she was on the hockey team

is she cute? :evilgrin:

I'll call 911 for you.

I haven't been cute-checked for at least a week :evilgrin:

:rofl:

And the deal was that one guy got selected to be the camp cook at the beginning of the season (which lasted three months) by drawing straws.

Now, nobody wanted to be the cook because you had to get up early, and you had to stay in camp all day getting dinner ready instead of being out in the woods in the fresh air cutting down trees and getting some exercise.

So the rule was that anyone who complained about the cook's cooking would have to become the new cook, and the complained-about cook would get to go out into the woods and the fresh air and all that.

That season, I drew the short straw, so I was the first cook of the season. I made the most horrible stuff I could think of in order to draw a complaint, but nothing worked for weeks.

Finally, in desperation, I made a very special dessert one night: A pie filled with moose turds I had collected from around the camp during the day when the other sons of bitches were out enjoying the fresh air and cutting down trees.

That evening, when I put the dessert pie on the table, the first guy to dig into a piece was a big bastard called Jules, who had sworn loudly at the beginning of the season that he'd NEVER be tricked into having to be the cook (remember the complaining rule?)

Anyway, he dug up a big forkful of my special Moose Turd Pie and shoveled it into his mouth, then turned red, then purple, spit it out, grabbed his throat, and yelled "God damn it, this pie tastes like MOOSE TURDS!"

Everyone at the dining table fell silent, anticipating a change in cook duty...but Jules was no dummy. Realizing what he had almost done, he force a grin onto his face with all the strength he could muster, and added..."Good, though!"

Redstone

thanks for the laugh though!

Dude, you are a nut. A lovable nut, but still :rofl: I'll second the thanks for the laugh!!

and done many improbable things.

And am still here, improbably enough.

Redstone

Infinite improbability drive at work... :)

just about that random and inexplicable.

But fun. Except for the parts that weren't particularly fun. But they weren't boring, either.

Redstone

"may you live in interesting times" curse? "May your life be never boring".... :)

Did you see the HHGttG movie?

...The WHAT movie? Sorry, this time of night, after I've driven to Cape Ann, MA and back in one day (including Thunderstorm Alley from Putnam to Norwich on the way back), you need to spell things out in words of one syllable or less, and slowly, or I won't understand.

Though I did find out that the Mrs R-mobile gets 30 big MPG on the highway, unlike Missy the conspicuous consumer who can barely manage 20...

Redstone

:) Sounds like a fun day of driving... I had to drive up from Old Lyme to Windham around 4:45, dodging lightning bolts and feeling the thunder up through the wheels of the van. That was fun, I hear ya on that one. And then a tree fell on my mom's house, and ... you heard the rest!

movie, but not the new one.

How is the new one?

Redstone

Ultra-condensed, but then, it had to be. Lots of laughs, though :) I hope they'll come out with more and continue the story beyond where they had to stop, though! There is so much more they could do with it!

That is one thing I have noticed while visiting DU. He always has the best stories.

the one who forgets that he told you the same story yesterday, and the day before, and the day before.

Say, did I ever tell you about the time I...

Thanks for the nice comment.

Redstone

Go Lumberjacks!!!

Arcata = The best city in the country
Santa Barbara = #2

Damn, I'm lucky

david

whatever the hell your talking about :D

Nice country up there. Nice couple of towns, as I remember from my one visit there a long time ago.

Nice myrtlewood.

Redstone

stay at a holiday in express last night...

:evilgrin: