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Post Your Favorite Risque Limericks Here (adult content)

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CO Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 02:40 PM
Original message
Post Your Favorite Risque Limericks Here (adult content)
Edited on Tue Jul-22-03 03:05 PM by CO Liberal
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas.
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
1. There once was a girl from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not round and pink,
as you might think,
but grey, had long ears,
and ate grass.
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BrotherBuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
2. Trots and Bonnie cartoonist
Edited on Tue Jul-22-03 02:53 PM by BrotherBuzz
From my favorite comic strip by Shary Flennikin from an old National Lampoon- When a young woman is asked by her boyfriend to "talk dirty", she comes up with this:

There was a fellow from Marblehead, Mass.,
Who had testicles made out of brass.
When he clanged them together,
he could play 'Stormy Weather',
while lightning shot out of his ass.
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qb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
3. There once was a girl from Eau Claire
Who was screwing a guy on the stair.
The banister broke
So she quickened her stroke
And finished him off in midair.
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kmla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 02:54 PM
Response to Original message
4. Here goes...
There once was a pirate named Bates
Who made his way 'round on skates
He slipped on his cutlass
and now he is nutless
And pretty useless on dates.

Howzat?

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CO Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
5. An Ugly Old Maid Was Miss Schmidt
As ugly as two piles of shit.
But her boyfriend was simple
He adored every pimple
And worshipped each wart on her tits.
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Caution Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 03:15 PM
Response to Original message
6. There once was a man
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose dick was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
if my ear was a cunt i could fuck it.
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-22-03 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
7. There was a young man from Cape Cod....
Who dreampt he was buggered by God.
But it wasn't Jehovah
That turned the boy over-
'Twas Roger, the lodger,
the dirty old codger,
the bugger, the bastard, the sod!


(In college, we would perform it in unison)
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