What would you do?

Now really think about this.

You have worked with someone for over one year, and never expressed how you feel. You have been professional to the extreme. However, recently, it has been made known that the feeling is mutual.

She is married to someone that a month ago she ran away from because of his temper. You are with someone that cares a lot about you, and it is returned, but there is no romance.

The obvious is to run from this sort of thing, but

What if you miss out on "the real" thing?

A year is a long time, working together closely, and no slip of the barrier put in place.

Should the barrier remain in place, or should the possibilities be explored?

break it off with your current significant other before doing so. As for the professional aspect of it, it seems like a romance of this sort could get in the way of doing your job. I wouldn't do it. I can see massive complications coming from this.

to follow her dream. It's getting us both, I believe, concerned.

Away from work, for god's sake. Over coffee.

Talk about your feelings, your fears, what each of you wants.

It'll be pretty clear what to do then, I believe.

Workplace romances are the most deadly. if her husband who has a "temper" finds out about you, what you gonna do? and what about the person who "cares a lot" about you? Is THIS fair to THEM? What you gonna do? Start in with those lies about "working late"

And what if you ALREADY have the "real thing" and are just too infatuated to se it? (forbidden fruit principle) What you gonna do after you fuck it up?

Aw, what the hell, do what you wanna do, but while you're "exploring", be sure to wrap that rascal, because she probably went off the pill the day she ran away from Bruno the Legbreaker...

Just my 750 Lire...

where you make your bread" was a fav. saying of a former co-worker!

And follow your heart.

I say go for it, how many chances at love will you get?

Yes, it is possible to be friends with someone of the sex that you are attracted to. Maybe, you are already, but saying that you are professional to the extreme would have me believe that this is not the case. Spend some time together outside of work doing things together.
Of course, you have your SO. Do you plan on staying with your SO? If you are staying with this person only because you don't want to be lonely, maybe you should consider going beyond frienship with the woman at work after you establish that you really do like each other outside of work. If you are generally satisfied with your current relationship or think that it could get better if you worked on it, work on your relationship and avoid going the physical/romantic route with your coworker. Even if you do not pursue this woman, if you are unhappy with your current relationship, you will have more tempataions in life that you might want to pursue or you could end up unhappy and bitter. How does your SO feel about your relationship? Maybe, you and your SO would be happier just being friends.
I guess my main point is that you should evaluate your current relationship. There is also another alternative between being strictly business and romantically pursuing this woman, which probably should be explored regardless.

resolve your current relationship before even approaching another one.

I was devasted two and a half years ago when my partner started dating somebody else while still living with me. It was horrendous. It was so disprespectful and so hurtful, and I didn't deserve it. Your current girlfriend doesn't deserve it, either.

If you are interested and you are sure the other person feels the same, be honest with yourselves. It is yourselves that matter in this life!

I would be honest with my husband or wife (if married) and state the feelings are no longer feeled the same. This way, your not only being fair to yourself, but to your partner.

T.B.
http://conservativeissues.com
Balancing out Politics