Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Attention: Help Needed from Funny People - complete this joke:

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
Felix Mala Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 10:24 AM
Original message
Attention: Help Needed from Funny People - complete this joke:
I've been trying to come up with a very funny ending to this story, but I think I've reached "the limits of imagination" on this one...

Here goes:

Georgie marries his sweetheart Laura and the new couple moves in with his parents, George Sr. and Bar. On that first night, Bar finds Georgie in front of the TV watching Conan.

"Georgie!," she says, "What are you doing down here? You're supposed to be in the bedroom, making grandchildren for your pa and me." Georgie trots up the stairway and Bar and George Sr. settle in to watch a rerun of Matlock. A few minutes later, the son appears in front of the parents with a big smile on his face.

"Mission Accomplished!" he grins.

"What," says Bar, "You weren't gone long enough to take your clothes off, what did you do?"

"Gee, Ma, I took off her shoes and socks and tickled her feet. Then I gave her a big wet kiss. That should do it."

"No it doesn't," Bar shouted. She pointed toward the stairway, "You get back up there and make us some grandchildren." Once again, Georgie trudged up the stairs. This time he was gone 10 minutes and then appeared before his parents, beaming.

"Mission Accomplished," he said proudly.

"Look son," George Sr. said, "Read my lips, you couldn't have possibly done anything in just ten minutes."

"Uh-huh, I took off her dress and fiddled with her Passion Buds. That ought-er do'er."

Barb jumped up, stomping her feet, "No it doesn't, I want you to go back up there and take care of your wife like she's supposed to be taken care of." His head hung low, Georgie slinked back upstairs.

THAT'S WHERE IT STOPS


I know there's a joke in here somewhere. I thought about him finding Bill Clinton or, even better, Colin Powell in bed with Laura, but couldn't think of a good line. Perhaps Laura could come down the third time and say something to them. I'll entertain any ideas.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
gWbush is Mabus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
1. Georgie comes back down 2 hours later
well?, says the beautiful mind?

I phoned Rove and Tenet and their fixin' the pregnancy test to come up "green".

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
UrbScotty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 10:46 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. No, Diebold is (nt)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
woo me with science Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #1
6. I like this! nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
3. says laura, "dammit george, its after 9:11, everythings changed"
.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
rustydog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
4. Laura comes running downstairs crying, hand on her cheek...
Babs asks: "Darlin' what's wrong?"
Laura sobs: "W slapped me and told me to get my fat ass in the kitchen where it belongs!"

GHW Bush: "That's my boy!"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
fob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 11:10 AM
Response to Original message
5. I changed it a bit
Georgie marries his sweetheart Laura and the new couple moves in with his parents, George Sr. and Bar. On that first night, Bar finds Georgie in front of the TV watching Conan.

"Georgie!," she says, "What are you doing down here? You're supposed to be in the bedroom, making grandchildren for your pa and me." Georgie trots up the stairway and Bar and George Sr. settle in to watch a rerun of Matlock. A few minutes later, the son appears in front of the parents with a big smile on his face.

"Hey Pa, kin I borrow your cowboy boots?" he grins.

"Sure, there in the hall closet"

georgie runs back upstairs and this time he was gone 10 minutes and then appeared before his parents, beaming.

"You gotta saddle handy, Ma?," he said proudly.

"Yes, it's at the foot of our bed, but what..."

georgie runs off before she can finish her question only to return 15 minutes later.

"I need a pitcher of water, can you get it for me Ma?"

Frustrated at georgie Bar jumps up, stomping her feet, "I want you to stop foolin' around with whatever you're doing and go back up there and take care of your wife like she's supposed to be taken care of!"

His head hung low, georgie whines, "But Ma, that's what all this stuff is fer! Laura's been yelling at me to ride her hard and put her away wet!



That came out worse than it sounded when I told it to myself. Back to the drawing board.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
two gun sid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
7. The next day, Laura, drowns hear sorrow in drink...
and runs Georgie down in a crosswalk with her car after blowing a stop sign.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Felix Mala Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 12:11 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Good Job -- I think we're real close...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
two gun sid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Maybe Georgie should have been riding...
a mountain bike.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 12:26 PM
Response to Original message
10. Georgie slinked back upstairs.
Soon, Poppy and Barb hear noises coming from the bedroom. Lots of furniture movement, some squeals, and some thudding.

Shortly, all is quiet.

Georgie comes downstairs with a bloody baseball bat and sits down to watch his program . . .
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Felix Mala Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 03:29 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. LOL/ ...and says, "What happened to Conan?"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
two gun sid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-26-05 05:48 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. LOL ..."pass the pretzels, Poppy."
Edited on Tue Jul-26-05 05:50 PM by two gun sid
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sat May 04th 2024, 11:13 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC