Jessica Alba French kissed by a monkey while filming MTV special

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003209.html

While filming a special for MTV, Jessica Alba claims she had a monkey's tongue inside her mouth.

"I'm shooting a special for MTV and they told me all I had to do was push my lips out a little and the monkey would give me a peck, but instead she rammed her tongue inside my mouth and swept it all around in a circle. She touched every inch in there. It was the most disgusting thing ever."

Is it wrong that I find myself wanting to kill a monkey out of vengeful jealousy? Those little bastards really have it good, lying in trees all day throwing feces, and occasionally sticking their tongues in Jessica Alba's mouth. I've tried the throwing feces thing, but until I get to make out with Jessica Alba I won't be satisfied with my life as a human. And in other semi-related news, Jessica Alba has also told Observer Magazine that she's sick of being typcast.

"The scripts I get are always for the whore, or the motorcycle chick in leather, or the horny maid. I get all these screenplays that start, 'Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked perky breasts. I don't think that is happening to Natalie Portman."

Lesbian beastiality?

If she's sick of being typecast, she should try getting some, you know, acting talent.

Tits and ass are like, forever, eh?

Hollywood has typecast better and worse actresses than her. It's the talent level of Hollywood moviemakers I question.

x(

I know, sad isn't it? Maybe you could introduce her to your agent for us?

:evilgrin:

i'll help her clean it out :D

Yeppers

And I hadn't shaved in weeks. There's no need for insults Jessica, I'm sorry!

oh, it's a female. Sorry, wrong monkey. :P

"... I don't think that is happening to Natalie Portman."

Apparently Jessica Alba hasn't heard about Natalie Portman's upcoming movie, Sasquatch Lover, a romantic remake of the classic Big Foot Movie

Can you believe that HUMAN got to kiss Millie? I'D shave all my hair for a chance to kiss Millie!

Monkeys have fantasies, too!

I guess we'll have to wait for Barbara Walters upcoming interview with Koko.

She's so hot right now.

:loveya:

I hope she does get better roles. She's better than that.

I thought she was pretty hot with her dark hair in Dark Angel. With the blonde hair she just looks like another talentless wreck though.

in a girl monkey on girl sorta way

Muhwha! Baby!

I'd kiss her too!

When we had finished making out, I would feel like I had just had a thorough teeth-cleaning and gum-scraping. Maybe she was just malnourished, I don't know. She didn't look hungry.

I let it go on, though, because that relationship was really more about her naked perky breasts.