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Okay, you can use the x-rated pieces too...
But I, uncharacteristically won't. :-)
I don't like the skin, what with eczema and all...
Ears force me to listen to President Bush.
Eyes force me to countenance President Bush's* grotesque appearance.
My x-rated bits compel me to go find somebody else to use them on, and that's actually a bit of a downer too.
My nipples don't work... But then I wonder how much freakier it would be if they DID work?
Fingers are nice because I can extend certain ones depending on how I feel. I like to point. I love to flip the bird. I love to grab things. I love to poke and prod. But I love flippin' the bird, especially at the TV when politicians appear.
What's the point of having toes, except to curl them up at the most inopportune moments?
Legs keep us moving, but that's nothing that a wheelchair can't do either...
Then there's the nose... I don't know what's worse; having two gigantic holes in the front of my face or having mucuous being created all the time. That stuff is gross.
Can't forget hair. I love it on my head, but it's starting to go away. Of course, mother nature tries to repay this surely unintentional insult by growing it on my earlobes and grow longer ones inside of my nose. This is apparently mother nature's way of saying "I'm sorry for making you go bald on top. Grow this new stuff out really long instead and wrap it around."
Oh, and teeth. They're great until you have a problem with pain. Why do teeth have nerves? It bloody hurts, especially when the dentist has to whip out his tool and drill you with it after applying the pain-numbing agent? (don't even think of going there, you filthy-minded people you! :evilgrin: ) And the cost of dental impants to replace the teeth with? Why not buy a blender instead and drink the puree? It requires less effort to drink, and takes less time too.
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