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1 of my cats was just hit by a car. Should I show the other cat his body?

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girl gone mad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-31-05 11:58 PM
Original message
1 of my cats was just hit by a car. Should I show the other cat his body?
They were best friends.

The other cat is looking around everywhere for him. I don't know what to do...
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MadisonProgressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-31-05 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
1. NO!!
The cat will suspect that you killed it!
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FreedomAngel82 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #1
7. What I would do
is talk to the other cat. Tell him/her what happened since the other cat seems to be looking around for the killed kitty. :( I'm sorry about your little one. :( But if the other cat is really looking around and they were best friends just sit down with the cat and explain what happened and see what they do next and if they want to see the dead cat. :hug:
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MadisonProgressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 07:03 AM
Response to Reply #1
28. After reading the other posts - I may be wrong
I do agree with the person that said you should let the cat find it. I wouldn't just walk up holding the dead cat.

But what do I know!
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Spangle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-31-05 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yes. Let him mourn.
It's always better knowing, then not knowing. I'm sure it's the same with cats.
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bhunt70 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #2
8. I disagree.
The cat will get over it without having to see the unfortunate cat. I asked my wife, and she thought it would be a bad thing to do much like the first response.
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incapsulated Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-31-05 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
3. This will get moved but, yes...
Edited on Thu Sep-01-05 12:00 AM by incapsulated
I think you should. I had two cats that grew up together and when we had to put one to sleep the other howled for a week, it was horrible. They can understand death but not disappearance.

I'm sorry about your cat. :(
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jokerman93 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
4. yes show him
But be gentle. talk to him and show him your feelings like you would with a child.
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Lindacooks Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
5. Oh no, that's just terrible.
Your surviving cat is going to need a lot of love and attention. This happened to us - our sweet cat Taylor, 1-1/2 years old, had a congenital heart defect we didn't know about and died suddenly. Emily, her best friend, raced around the house for days looking for her; she hasn't been the same since, and this was 7 years ago.

So cuddle your cat and give her/him lots of attention.
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closeupready Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #5
38. This happened to my loving cat, too,
and I guess if it had to happen, it was good that it happened in front of me and the other cat. I could tell she understood what had happened. She was quiet for a long time after that.
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
6. Yes, it's the best thing you can do.
They understand and it gives them closure. We always let our pets sniff the ones that died before we bury them.
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stickdog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
9. Well, Senator Santorum would certainly approve.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A61804-2005Apr17?language=printer

In his Senate office, on a shelf next to an autographed baseball, Sen. Rick Santorum keeps a framed photo of his son Gabriel Michael, the fourth of his seven children. Named for two archangels, Gabriel Michael was born prematurely, at 20 weeks, on Oct. 11, 1996, and lived two hours outside the womb.

Upon their son's death, Rick and Karen Santorum opted not to bring his body to a funeral home. Instead, they bundled him in a blanket and drove him to Karen's parents' home in Pittsburgh. There, they spent several hours kissing and cuddling Gabriel with his three siblings, ages 6, 4 and 1 1/2. They took photos, sang lullabies in his ear and held a private Mass.
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darkism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:04 AM
Response to Reply #9
13. Exactly what I was going to say.
And I was hoping this was a joke post meant to take a stab at Santorum.
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mnhtnbb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
10. So sorry!
I have two cats who are best friends, too. I don't know that one cat would attribute the death of the other to you. I'd be inclined to let
the living one see the dead one.
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Der Blaue Engel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
11. I'm so sorry
Edited on Thu Sep-01-05 12:08 AM by Der Blaue Engel
:(

As for the other kitty, I wouldn't do that. I don't think it would help anything. It will be hard for a while, but he/she will eventually forget. Just one of the heartbreaking things about not being able to communicate to our pets.

Again, I'm really sorry for your loss.

:hug:

on edit: after reading some of the other responses, I have to say that I'd never heard of people doing this (showing the pet the dead body)...if others have done this and it seems to help, then ignore my advice. I was thinking in people terms.
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Richard Steele Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
12. Yes. The cat will understand that his friend is gone.
It sounds a bit MORBID, I know.
But I have seen cat experts recommend it...
and we did it when our cat was hit by a car.

She understood that he was gone;
she never tried to call him or look for him after that.
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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:21 AM
Response to Reply #12
19. yeah, I agree, they "know" when they see the body
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:04 AM
Response to Original message
14. Yes
When my very old kitty passed I didn't let his friend know and she looked and cried for days. When I lost the last one I let his brother and my other girl kitty see he was gone and they dealt with it much differently. To be honest, they took it much better than I did.

I'm sorry.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:08 AM
Response to Original message
15. Put it somewhere where he'll find it, but don't lead the cat out and point
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incapsulated Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. That is a good suggestion
Animals do understand and accept death, better than we do, as someone else posted. It is natural. Yes, it would be tramatic to find the body of someone you love, but it would be worse for them to disappear without knowing what happened.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
17. Yes, let cat sniff body of dead cat.
Cats understand that death is part of life and it will probably just sniff its buddy's body and figure it out. It is better than just disappearing the body and having your cat wonder.
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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
18. I would let the other cat see his body. I did this 2 years
ago for my cat who was best friends with a very beloved cat I had who died of cancer. She smelled him when his body was still warm. I let her see him again when his body was cold and she snarled, like she didn't know it was him. Because she is looking for him, I would definitely let your cat check out the body. Animals seem to know....
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Contrary1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
20. I would guess that you cat already senses the other's death.
It brings to mind what happened the morning my dad died.
The neighbor's dog always sat on our porch in the morning
waiting for my dad to leave for work. Dad always
slipped him a little treat or just patted him on the head
as he left.

The morning he passed away, the dog sat on the property
line and observed all that was going on. He never did come
over to visit. In fact, later that day the dog disappeared.
They found his remains a few days later in a nearby field.

I am certain the dog knew what had happened, and grieved
himself to death.

I think you should show your cat his best buddy.
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girl gone mad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
21. Thanks for the replies.
I think he must have already seen the body in the street, since he was standing in the middle of the street smelling the ground when I first went to find him. I didn't want him to end up getting hit, too, so I let him come outside and see while we were digging the grave.

What an awful week. My cat Neko was the sweetest cat in the universe. I've never had a cat like him before and I doubt I ever will again. I can't think of any word to describe him except angelic.

He never ever went near the street because he was terrified of the cars. He had been acting strange all day today, though.
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 12:58 AM
Response to Original message
22. My other five cats held vigil for the oldest cat the night before she died
We took her to the vet and I knew she wasn't coming back, but the cats all knew.

I'd let the other kitty know what happened.

:hug:
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:04 AM
Response to Original message
23. I'm so sorry
:hug:
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 01:08 AM
Response to Original message
24. So very sorry for your loss.
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Bobby_Miller Donating Member (39 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 03:30 AM
Response to Original message
25. Yes.
Cats seem to grieve, too.

And they know if something is wrong.

No sense in hiding it from the other kitty.

They can handle it, tho it is really sad.

Sad for your cats, and your loss.

Damn it, I hate that kitties die and stuff! I have had cats since childhood and I have lost many, but it still bums me to hear of them dying.

If I had my way, cats (and dogs too) would never die. I know it's a bit selfish, but they are just so wonderful and good friends.

In my world they would be immortal.:)
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 03:52 AM
Response to Reply #25
27. Welcome to DU, Bobby_Miller...
Another animal lover on DU. You're going to fit in here just fine. Glad to have you with us and thanks for your wise and compassionate reply. In my world, they'd be immortal, as well.:-)
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 03:47 AM
Response to Original message
26. When I lost my dog, I let my little guy, who loved her so, sit with her.
He nudged her, and when she didn't respond, he began licking her paws. I don't know if it helped him understand, but I had to at least try. It was pretty bad, anyway, for him, but I did the best I could to help him understand... Animals mourn, too, and you're wise to realize this.;(

My heart goes out to both of you. I'm so sorry.;(
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BreweryYardRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 07:34 AM
Response to Original message
29. I'm sorry...
:hug:
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youthere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 08:06 AM
Response to Original message
30. I have no advice...I just want to say how sorry I am.
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Samurai_Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 08:11 AM
Response to Original message
31. I'm torn on this one...
I just lost my 15 year old cat a few months ago. Her 14 year old son seemed to sense she was declining a few days before. When I took her to put her to sleep, he seemed to know she wasn't coming back. The same thing happened when my dog got ill two months ago and had to be put to sleep. The cat seemed to know he wasn't coming back either. My 14 year old cat grieved for his mom for about two months. Then, I got a new cat to keep him company. He's doing much better now.
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 08:22 AM
Response to Original message
32. Yes, you should show the other kitty
Kitty will likely be depressed for a while and continue to look for his lost friend, but you can deal with that. I'm so terribly sorry. It's just awful to lose a furry friend. Take care.
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huskerlaw Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 08:23 AM
Response to Original message
33. Yes! I had this happen
and the other cat found the body (I agree, don't walk up to the cat holding the dead one). It was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. He picked the body up and carried it to where he thought the body would be safe or protected or something. And then he sat next to it and howled.

I didn't let that go on for very long before I stepped in and calmly removed the body, but the cat seemed to understand and didn't go looking for his friend anymore. He did definitely mourn though...walked around the house in a bit of a stupor for about a week.

Good luck and I'm sorry about your kitty.
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LisaL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 08:31 AM
Response to Original message
34. Keep the other one inside.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 08:35 AM
Response to Original message
35. Yes, it gives the other kitty a chance to
see and know what happened to his/her friend. They'll know it just didn't go away or get lost.

I've done it with my cats and dog. It's amazing and sad to watch their reaction.

I'm sorry about your kitty.

:hug:
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Terran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 09:42 AM
Response to Original message
36. So sorry to hear this.
By now you've probably resolved this. My 2 cents is you should let the other cat see the body. My understanding from a bit of reading is that the survivor cat will be confused by the other cat's absence if he doesn't confirm for himself the death. I don't think the survivor will attribute the other cat's death to you, I don't think their minds work that way; but seeing the deceased cat will allow the survivor to 'mourn' and eventually get over the loss.

My partner and I went though this twice in one year, and I know how hard it is.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-01-05 09:43 AM
Response to Original message
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