Funniest Amazon Book Review Ever - You gotta read this

A laudanum of the past four years, August 25, 2005
Reviewer: The Panopticon - See all my reviews
President Bush's noble crusade to free Iraq from the liberal secular humanist yoke of the Saddam Hussein's of the world has set in motion an irrevocable chain reaction of incredibly good goodness. The "anything goes" Clinton-mentality of mid 90s Iraq has been supplanted with an "everything goes (boom)" mentality.

We will fight the terrorists over there so that we don't have to fight them over here, and if we don't find any over there, why, we'll create conditions suitable to their tenure. As to the WMD's, like God, their existence cannot be disproven.

Liberals are trapped in modernism, with their delusions of empirical reality, that there exists or do not exist terrorists or WMD's independent of our observing them. As Professor Sokal argues in "Transgressing the Boundaries: Towards a Transformative Hermeneutics of Quantum Gravity", quantum mechanics has shattered the ingenuous Newtonian faith in an objective, pre-linguistic world of material objects ``out there.''

And in as much as the ontological categories of atomism and reductionism have been overthrown, so too is the "law" of diminising marginal returns, that tyrannical classist dogma of classical demand side Keynesianism, overthrown in favor of a law of increasing marginal returns, hence the supply side Keynesianism which has so strengthened our economy through the gradual mothballing of progressive taxation and the inflation of military spending on inapplicable technologies, such that DARPA may embrace its true dadaist mission of disjunctive production by which defense initiatives are funded inversely proportional to their actual usefulness. The arguement that our wealth disparity may approach 3rd world levels in the next few decades is coded racism.

We must learn to stop worrying and love the bomb. All your base are belong to us.

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How to Write Like a Simpleton (If You Must), August 27, 2005
Reviewer: Jane Doe "Literate Liberal" (St. Paul, Minnesota) - See all my reviews
Frankly, I would not have read this book at all if it had not been so vehemently foisted upon me as a gift, courtesy of my ex-boyfriend who threw me over for a nurse because the notion of waiting for me to finish graduate school was, apparently, intolerable. The circumstances of my acquisition of the text notwithstanding, I must say that I was truly, completely and shockingly unimpressed. Far from being rhetorically adroit, Coulter's prose reads like - well - the pandering pabulum that it is. Even the most geriatricly decrepit of NRA enthusiasts, such as one in particular who couldn't cope with a serious on-camera interview, would be likely to find Coulter's simplistic liberal=human being - brain - education + incomprehensible fantaticism x multiple synaptic disorders just a tad on the overwrought side of things - though perhaps I am too overly optimistic and generous in hoping this to be so.

Frankly, Coulter is incapable of crafting a coherent, logical argument; logical fallacies are her forte and kudos to her for mastering the art of incorporating so very many of them into such comparatively slender screeds and diatribes.

I suppose her tacky leather vest and bizzarro faux-classroom covergirl appearance are meant to somehow mask the idiocy of her prose, which, God love her, I can not fathom how or why it had ever been syndicated in the first place. Yes. The above is indeed an ad hominem attack, which is fallacious in nature, but honestly, it was the most truly restrained response I could muster.

The only insight I happened to glean from obliging monsieur "ex" in reading this collection of substandard rants is that I now am able to apprehend why he would forego a relationship with a woman who has both beauty and brains, for one who while rather outwardly attractive, is possessed of only a very mediocre mentality shot through with a heavy vein of bimbo/gold-digger ore.

Meanwhile, I cling to my non-conformist, non-capitalistic values and shock of all shocks - refuse to be his mistress. Wow - a liberal who has "family values" fending off the advances of a wealthy philanderer! Can it be true??? You bet your Republican arses, my friends, and oh yeah, honey, get a leash for your husband or cut the poor man loose. It is tragic, really - not unlike Coulter's attempts at authorship.

Finally the Evidence!, August 11, 2005
Reviewer: Alexander R (Glastonbury Connecticut) - See all my reviews
The fact that Santorum could get a mean spirited and medeival book like published is proof that there could be no such thing as Intelligent Design!

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I recommend this book highly!, August 4, 2005
Reviewer: Holier Than You - See all my reviews
I recommend this book highly for that hard to shop for self-hating gay man on your list, or that special fella' whose sense of self-worth and masculinity are so fragile that he just can't live happily in a world where women might be his equals (or better)and gay men might be just as manly.

Need a great gift for that special angry white man on your list that feels so disempowered and emasculated by a world that doesn't treat him like the special little prince he is the way that his mommy did? This hopeful book will inspire him to create his own little family fiefdom in which everyone else and their needs are subordinate to his own, plus give him the tools to proclaim loudly that God wills it to be so!

Brilliant, I tell you. Just brilliant!

Thanks, Rick! You've made the chore of gift shopping so much easier!