What is the absolute STUPIDEST thing anyone has ever said to you???

Just think about it for a few minutes if you need to. The way some people are in this country, it might take a long time for a lot of you to think about it. If you don't believe it's the stupidest thing, but it's still very stupid, tell me anyway.

In any case, here's the stupidest thing anyone ever said to me:

When I was playing high school football (kicker, then linebacker) as a junior in 1999, we were coming off a dismal, winless 0-9 season the previous year. Now, my high school's football team has traditionally sucked for the past 30-plus years, in case anyone is wondering. We usuallly win two games per year (ever since the '99 year, at least), and maybe one of them against a conference opponent if we're lucky. But the players on the team back then (and still today) STILL DO NOT REALISE that we friggin' SUCK.

So, to be both realistic and optimistic, in the locker room after one practice one day during training camp, I was telling one of my teammates that "if we execute our plays well on a consistent basis, not get psychologically damaged and not get bit by the injury bug this year, we could go 4-4 or 5-3 in the regular season, win 2 or 3 conference games, and go far into the playoffs." I was REALLY being a little too optimistic even in my own mind. Remember, we absolutely SUCKED, and nobody wanted to admit it. Not the players, not the coaches.

Then the sad, naive soul told me, "What are you talking about?? We're going UNDEFEATED this year!!!"

We went 2-7 that year.:eyes:

What's the most STUPID, IDIOTIC, MORONIC thing anyone has ever said to you???

Actually, several people said that to me a few years ago.

A surprising % of them have sent very nice "I'm sorry, watch me eat this crow" e-cards since.

Er, if Gore had been president, he wouldn't have deferred national security to Dick Cheney and delayed enacting a counter-terrorist plan.

Background: I was 8.5 months pregnant. As in, huge, ready to explode, hoping to end it soon. I was a grad student and one of the few people I knew to ever be pregnant/have kids. Lots of people asked me about my fears/expectations of labor. The sysadmin of my husband's department, who happened to be a woman, asked me if I was nervous. Fair enough, I was used to that question. The (unspoken) answer: "yes! Very! Not of childbirth itself, but of the first several days at home with this tiny being, who would be totally dependent upon me and no one else!" I just responded "a little", and she replied "don't worry, I hear hardly anyone dies in childbirth these days." :wtf: I hadn't even THOUGHT of the remote possibility of maternal death in childbirth. Or, at least I hadn't until then.

MORAL: If you think you suck at smalltalk, you probably do, so don't make it.

people would come across the room to share their "my cousins wife blah blah blah" horror stories. Nice. Like you dont have enough to worry about.

at work when everybody in my "team" was talking about how the public schools give kids instruction on how to call CPS and file a complaint against parents, and then they teach them to be homos.

I value this job, one of the very very few jobs in my rural area that pays a decent wage, so I just shut up.

on edit - sincere apologies if my language offends, i was only repeating what was said.

.

10 years, one of my students asked me who the lady was and how we met. All went well until I said that she was Canadian, upon which revelation he asked, with a shocked look on his face, "why would you marry a communist?" What followed was a half hour of (absolutely futile) discussion of the difference between a social democracy and a communist state.:eyes:

LOL!!!!

But seriously, Canada is one country IMO that we should be trying to be more LIKE.

stared at the neck and looked at me..


" you can't just "do" this can you?"

he somehow thought that it would magically come to him how to play the damn thing..

what a fucking idiot.

She was forced by Al to vaccuum the floor, and she was pushing the thing forward without it being plugged in, yelling "GO!! Go, damn you!!!":-)

n/t

from the 34th Street subway station not knowing where the call was. Turns out we had to re-cross 7th Avenue while doing CPR and trying to dodge taxis whizzing by.
We were half in front of a taxi who started to move around us in front when my partner gently "placed" the oxygen tank on his hood.
He stopped, opened his door, stood up and said, "Why don't you assholes go play somewhere else?"
That one takes the cake for me.

stupidest thing i ever said:

yes.

I can positively say that it is "I don't know of any gun stores in the inner city." Thanks, Bay Buchanan.

-C

No gun stores in the inner city??? OK, whatever...:eyes:

I'm just glad I got it down on paper before I forgot it. Because I want to remember that for awhile. Shows how in-touch she is, I think.

-C

Whatever Joe Scarborough is puking out right now.

I worked the bar in the restaurant at the Calgary Stampede for a couple of years. A band played the room every evening, they were OK, I guess, a typical bar band. After a few days of this, a co-worker came up to me and said, "You know, that band's not very good. They just play the same stuff every night." :freak: I calmly explained some of the subtleties of the music biz to him, but he didn't look convinced.

My first day at St. Dom's,Sister Mary Clarissa asked me my name..and I told her "Barbara Niamh O'Neill"(as it was back then)..and she looked at me(with my red hair,blue eyes and a few freckles)and asked me "Are you Italian"?

LOL!

Well, one time, I turned on The Rush Limbaugh Show. Need I say more?

This army guy went into a foam at the mouth tirade that "Bill Clinton sent Saddam Hussein missiles". I was about ready to put my fist through the computer. Why doesn't somebody make a bigger issue out of the political indoctrination going on in our military camps. If indoctrination is wrong at taxpayer funded universities it must also be wrong in the military.

I work for a large company that handles tech support for an even bigger ISP. Recently a woman called me from California asking if there was an outage. the way she put it was "Is there a network outage, or do I have a personal problem?" Had to put her on 'mute' so she would hear me laughing.

:eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :eyes:
Trekkerlass

This is second hand but it is true.

A web developer updated a client's site, client couldn't see it, called the developer, who told him to refresh his browser.

A few seconds silence, then over the speakerphone, the client asks

"Aren't you my browser?"

Said to me during a rush by a real dumb co-worker at my restaurant. I just looked at him, sadly.

PROCTOR: "Yes dear friends, you won't want to miss or be remiss in using and or abusing these very fabulous and functionally frustrating savings here at Ralph Spoilsport's Rotating Restaurant, located on top of the Prefabricated Presence Building in baleful Bronze-eye, Utah... just remember our slogan: if we keep selling hot dogs, we're gonna run out - so be sure and run out again - of HUNGER! At Ralph Spoil- (record skips)"

Seriously, it was said by my dumb-ass coworker-the guy can barely read, much less appreciate the Firesign Theater! What album/recording is that line found on? Wow, my head is spinning, oxygen is dada....

I guess I can do a passable imitation then, prompted by that odd coworker line.

I think I'll hire some cutrate immigrants, dub them THE NEW FIRESIGN THEATRE, make them tour Great Adventure and do Bar Mitzvahs. I'll make a fortune, I tell you! Or at least enough for macaroni and cheese.

Damn, you had me fooled. I thought it was a sketch from one of those gigantic boxsets on their website. You're good, my friend! Perhaps a career in surrealist screenwriting is your future.

http://terminalproduct.com/filmandvideo.html

I sure would like to go back to doing goofy black and white comedies again. But there's the Bush business to deal with first.

that "God must have wanted her more than you did."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was just speechless....

pardon me :puke:

I just hope she realized how foolish that had sounded.

:hug:

"I'm sick of the fucking Democrats starting wars in the government! If they'd just shut the fuck up and do whatever the Republicans want, everything would be just fucking fine!"

This from a man who will be a short line cook probably for the rest of his life and doesn't understand that Republicans will NEVER pass any laws to make his life easier. But all he wants to do is worry where his next drink is coming from.

I laughed my ass off when he went on that rant.

When I was in college, some of us who were in the same sociology class were talking about victimless crimes, and one girl said that she was against prostitution because in God's eyes, you were forever married to the first person you had sex with, and so if a man's first sexual experience was with a prostitute, he would be married to her in God's eyes, and if he then married someone in the usual sense, he would not only be committing adultery but also making his wife an involuntary adulteress and liable to damnation.

The rest of us were completely stunned.

OK, maybe if it had been sincere it wouldn't have been such a dumb thing to say...

just utter nonsense. Makes me laugh every time I think about it.

*

They didn't mean the day they wanted to know what date it fell on.

They had no excuse they were an American and I asked the person where she was from. She was a suburban republican.

"an accident! Quick, what's the number for 911"?

:crazy:

I went to visit him and, as we were talking, an elderly woman came in, got some gum out of the gum rack and put it on the counter. My friend had been paying attention to me, so he didn't know if the woman came from the parking lot on the side of the building or from the pumps. When he asked her "Do you have gas?" I couldn't stop laughing. The woman became upset and stormed out after paying, which made me laugh even harder...

...guess you had to be there.

...a special station that reads books and newspapers to the blind. (You need a special receiver to pick up the signal.) Within the first month of my starting at CRIS, two different people asked me, "How are things going at that radio station for the deaf?"

No, he's jist a riglar foke.

The violist in a quartet I played in actually made that analogy with the slow movement of the Ravel F Major Quartet.

It was all I could do to keep from asking him what lesbians sounded like, and how he could possibly know... :D

A customer once asked him, "Do you have that song about the female astronaut? You know, Ride Sally Ride upon your mystery ship?"

Wow! Three errors in two sentences. Top that, freepers!

In New Orleans, a record store was accepting applications for employment. Some fortyish white guy came into the store and asked for an application. The snobby guy behind the counter did something insufferably smug: instead of giving the guy the application, he asked him, "Do you know who Sam Cooke is?" Job-wantin' guy replies, "Never heard of 'im." Record snob guy goes, "Get the hell out of my store."

As a witness to this event, I couldn't decide which was worse: the customer's stupidity or the counter clerk's haughtiness.


Oh, yah, and once when I worked at a record store in Connecticut, a fortyish white guy came in and asked about the Misfits. He said he was a big fan of "DAN Danzig."

Said with a horrible sneer by black, hispanic AND white people. I'm of an extremely pale complexion. You can literally see the veins in my hands, arms, legs and feet. My skin coloring is vivid pink, not even close to the "normal" Caucasian tone. Doctors have told me that my skin looks like a very old or soon to be dead person's though they can find nothing wrong. This has been the case since I can remember. I can't go out in the sun because I burn so quickly. As a teen, I used to fry the crap out of myself to try to fit in. I now have the skin cancers to show for it.
I've accepted that this is how I was supposed to be but others have not. Even with this I am not an ugly person. I just have to stay out of the sun and I resent the comments by total strangers about how they think I should appear. It's really none of anyone's business what color my body is and I'm tired of feeling defensive about it.
I can't flippin' help it.
Sorry.
/rant off

The first, I've actually been asked many times, but the one incident that specifically stands out in my mind was RIGHT AFTER the woman had overheard me speak perfect, unaccented English.

The second, was some random woman I was trying to pick up in a bar a few years ago (I actually wrote about this here a few months ago). Her loss. :-)

DTH

....both have lived in the U.S. their whole lives. They still get from time to time people asking the, "where did you learn to speak English so well?"
they've never punched anybody for it.

best part of story is the idiot who hit me had made a left turn right into oncoming traffic.....me, doing 45 miles an hour.. ambulence gets there. one of the ambulence medics was the owner of the car who hit me,. he had loaned the car to his brother that morning, who hit me.

on the drive to the hospital the medic is screaming at his brother laying on the stretcher next to me, calling him all sorts of names and telling him he's gonna' kill him. and the two brother start fighting right in the moving ambulence, throwing punches at each other as i am flat on my back bloody as hell, in shock, watching it all happen. the other medic had to separate them

jesus, it was funny

ever try to laugh with a broken jawbone? it hurts like hell.

life is so strange, you cant make up shit like that in a million years.

This was uttered by a young woman after I asked her for a date. She had been flirting with me all night, so I figured my request might get positive response.

Normally, I would have been hurt by the remark, but it was the most bone-headed thing I had heard in my life (up to that point).

Just for a little background, I wasn't that fat, and she wasn't that skinny.

--bkl

I drive one of those trucks you all see on the highway that has up to 12 cars on it all leaned to and fro, packed into a 70 X 9 X 13 1/2 foot space. A car hauler. Often i carry 10 cars and have 7 or more deliveries. Sometimes the whole load goes to the same dealership so it is not unusual for the guy who checks in cars to ask "How Many? when you show up with a truckload of vehicles. I pull up to this Honda store with ONE CAR on board. I drive an open rack trailer. You can obviously see that there is only one vehicle on my truck. The guy asks me "How Many?" i said "Fourteen, just one at a time"

A couple students were upset because I wouldn't let them talk all during my course. So they complained my Angry American Writers course was a brain-washing course, that I hated America because I insisted they read Upton Sinclair and Theodore Dreiser.

The Director of Grad studies hauls me in afterward and says, "When you teach you really have to avoid the hot button issues."

I immmediately went downstairs and began a class on Slaughterhouse Five.

When I was waiting tables during my undergrad years I had this family sit in my section with their grossly overweight children. One of the parents asked me if his kid would like the mozzarella cheese sticks appetizer.

I think I said yes, but what I really wanted to say was either: "How the fuck would I know what your kid likes", or "judging from your child's immense girth, I can be relatively assured that your child will pretty much eat anything you put in front of him."

A few weeks ago I got invited to meet some friends in a park one evening; there was a corporate thing going on in the park and there was a band playing.
I had to park my car some distance away and as I was walking toward the park I could hear the band. Got a little closer and I could discern that the band was butchering old Gary Puckett and the Union Gap songs. You know, "Young girl, get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line," that kind of crap.
"Jesus," I said to myself, "This band is making these songs sound even worse than they did originally. They are truly butchering these songs."
So I'm on my way down the trail to meet my pals when I hear the band quit and the lead singer says "Thank you and God Bless. I'm Gary Puckett and this is the Union Gap."
The original band made their own songs sound like they were played by a high school garage band.

nose hair is allowed.

End of message

she was both adorable and incredibly sexy, but not too bright.

Among her gems - "what time is the 7-o'clock movie?"

We were in England on a choir tour over the 4th of July in 1987, and she asked her host parents if there were going to be fireworks.

I think of her everytime I hear some inane statement - this thread rocks.

But "Do the cinnamon-raisin bagels taste like cinnamon?" is at the top of the list.

to work a part time job on the weekend? Surely we are paying you enough during the week here......

I wanted to smack the bastard right in the mouth!

Sister-in-law. Love her to bits :-)

that would take some thinking back - there's been so many. If I manage to stay away from the customers calling for help desk support (everyone who's worked help desk has some doozies), I can still come up with a few.

Back in 1988, the presidential race with Bush the Elder was hot & heavy, with much ugliness and mudslinging going on (remember the Willie Horton tactic? remember the stuff about the waters around Boston being so polluted?). It was late October, and one of my co-workers - an adult woman, I might point out - asked, "Is the elections this year? I thought they was next year" (the grammar is verbatim).

I reacted with great horror, pulled another co-worker aside and said, "the horrible thing is, she's allowed to VOTE!" and my co-worker reassured me, "it's okay, there's no way she'll be able to figure out how to register." I took comfort in that, but that's why I've always been kind of ambivalent about the whole motor-voter thing.

But I have to say, my husband's ex-wife actually came up with a real winner. She is not a stupid woman by any means, but has become somewhat politically disinterested, probably because her mother was a political junkie of the highest order and she burned out on it. She asked one of her teenage sons last year, "Is Bush a Republican or a Democrat?" The boys were appalled.

It can't compete, but I'm going to share #2 from my food service days:

Customer: "I'd like a pizza that's half thin crust and half deep dish."

Me: "We can't do that."

Customer: "Why?"

Me: * How can I even explain this?

I've run this one right into the ground. It was said by Gen.Larry Arnold of NORAD to the independent commission investigating 9/11:

"And though, when the second aircraft crashed into the tower, by now, I think as Sec. Mineta said, “This becomes a pattern.” Certainly, I’d like to tell you that I was absolutely certain at that time that we were under attack but I was not absolutely certain that we were under attack at that particular time. But we knew that this pattern had to be dealt with at that particular time."

Mind you, this is after the SECOND WTC crash.

A pattern?!?! And since when do NORAD officials take their cues from the transportation secretary??

If you've heard one lie you've heard them all!