I'm on the Bullet Train to Hell

I'm sure I'm in the drivers seat, but not only did I senselessly switch it to the fast-track, but I don't have any brakes!

It's the true nature, the full force of the code they call Murphy's Law.

This long year, life was throwing me hurdles at an unfair rate. I was used to the regular stuff, like a killer test, or an all-night-up.the usual...but here, life was a bitch--

constant harassment from the stalkers: things aren't quite like they used to be, females can be just as vicious these days. dealing with one of them cost me a day of In School Suspension! and no, it's not funny; fighting off a crusher's interrogations while handling 4 finals on a 50 hour sleep deficit and caffeine shortage is unnerving when you're in my seat.
some people call it gettin' lucky, for now I'll call it gettin' laid. But I'll be laid to rest 'fore I'm laid by one of them bitches.
some people call it gettin' 'done', and I'll be done in by old age, 'fore I'm done by one of them.

homework binge: Just to keep myself in the academic passing zone, I have to stay awake for so long, I may as well stay up for the rest of my life. courses turn sour, and you're in for the ride unless you neglect your health.

stress overload: Even my 8 felines cannot help me cool down in under 5 hours after a bad(every) day! by that time, the sun has already set.

no control: I cannot put together 1 bike to ride 20 miles each way to and from school so that I can stay after and not burn up my old man's gas tank(ford crown victoria).

ejected by society: I'm treading water alone in this county. befriended by none, denied by all, constantly misunderstood.

unable to trust: 30 days now I've been single, my ex was the last person I knew that wasn't blinded by lust. then came the crash- just weeks short of what could've been 1 year, I'm dunked. Now it looks like she has gone with the new kid, and there are some elements leading to carnal desire. now I'm not sure what to believe.


--the hurdles have not come feet apart,but have stacked up on themselves, making a skyscraper on top of me. you bet it's heavy.

The way I must sort this out is to fight like there's no tomorrow, to give 'em hell, to not let it tumble on top of me. I must take my life back, and keep control of it again. it's a very long road ahead, and it may tear me to shreds. it may make me more experienced. it is the darker end of the tunnel, I have to do the near-impossible.

I must run this train off the rails. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.:dilemma: