Rich racism anecdote

My daughter comes home from preschool every day talking about her best friend "Martha" in our diverse, small town. So tonight I invited Martha and her mother over so our daughters could have a playdate together.

Martha's mother has two older boys in the local public high school. Being new to the area, I asked her her opinion of the high school. Her response was, "Well...It's not bad."

"So...It's not good then? Is there something wrong with it?"

"Well I don't mean to offend but we'd like to move somewhere where everyone is white."

Needless to say I was more than offended, I was floored. Racism, alive and well in America. I'd love to hear ideas on how anyone here would deal with this situation.

Not that it would change anything, did she give a specific reason as to why she wanted a white enviroment?
Damn, this sure is shame to read .
I would have responded probably in a rude manner; these comments set me off.
A good response might have been "you'd be denying your kid the chance to live in a diverse enviroment". It's just not healthy to be surrounded by the same people as you are...you need some friggin' change!

I didn't really care to follow up. Somewhere between wondering if I really heard what I thought I heard and wanting to get her out of my house as soon as possible I found myself completely tongue-tied.

So I need some tips on how to deal with a situation like this in the future, so I deal with it more effectively next time. Any ideas?

Is she being truly malicious?

Or does she simply feel uncomfortable around non-whites?

As people get to be around and know each other, their predjudices, fears, and misconceptions tend to vanish. We're all human, with varying external features. It's how we treat each other that counts. Her actions only invite stern negativity and it would be totally justified.

I'm white. I'm thinking she must be awefully comfortable with her racist views to assume that any random white person she's just met must feel the same way she does.

on the Atlantic shore... I asked one of the property manager how much the units sold for... and he told me the price... and then I asked how the schools rated.. He told me ..."well there aren't a lot of blacks...so its good here"...my face went pale and he realized that I must not have the same sort of opinions he had so he walked away.

Look at it two ways....either worry your daughter may pick it up...or hope her duaghter will pick up that racism is wrong from your daughter.

too bad our kids aren't a couple of years older. But I can always hope!

So I'm not a good source of advice on this one. However, I do let them know that they've made me uncomfortable, without going into too much lecturing. I realize that it's pointless to argue with them.

At best, I point out counter-examples to show them why their reasoning is faulty. (i.e. I know a 5 year old in a private school who was abused by another child, and the private school would not expel the abusing child because his parents were well-connected.) At worst, I just ignore them in a way that becomes obvious that they are dead to me.

I rented a place from a couple who had about ten units. I was talking with them one day after a tenent moved out and they had just shown the place. The wife said "we screen them pretty good, and we have had great luck with the blacks". I was stunned and taken aback. They only rented to white people? Yup, I had never seen anything but at the place.
This is in Tennessee but they had moved here from Chicago after they retired. Racisim is alive and well EVERYWHERE!

those in the south. They are just as bad, sometimes worse because they are very arrogant and don't see themselves as "racist." They even get offended by the term.

When we moved to this area, we looked at a rental house and were told by the lady who owned it, "The best thing about this place is that we don't have any of those black people in the neighborhood." I was floored and on the spot decided we wouldn't rent from her.

Later we rented half a duplex and the realtor--an elderly gentleman--felt he had to apologize to us because he had rented the other side to a black couple. "I had to, you know," he said, "it's the law." They were some of the best neighbors we ever had.

This was in 1987 but I don't think things have changed that much in rural Western PA.