Making a FOOL out of your self on DU

I know this isn't a place to come when you are down but hell I don't have very many places to go.

Last night I made a fool out of myself by going out to a club/bar/restaurant and ordering a pony beer that cost a whole two bucks plus a dollar tip.
To tell you the truth I can only hold one half of a beer and that's it so I ordered a Pony Beer and drank half of that.
I needed to drown out my sorrows of loosing my Little Girl. Sure I knew she was dying and yes she did pee on walls all of the time but I loved her. The hardest part about that is watching the pee run down the wall and then you have a mild breakdown from the thought of what is happening. You could place a litter pan in every room with fresh litter and she would still pee on the walls and she did this since she was a kitten.
I have her small kitty body in a cooler in my living room and Paw Prints Gardens is picking her up on Monday.
If I take her to a vet they will charge me an extra $150.00 bucks up front for the pickup. If Paw Prints Gardens picks her up I will be charged 1/3 of that fee and they will hold her body in the freezer until I can afford to pay for her funeral and cremation. Some people would thick that a funeral is a waste of money but it's only $35.00 dollars extra and they say a prayer over her and lay her out like a real funeral. It brings tears to your eyes when you see the little coffins and eulogies that are left to pets. The cemetery is attached to the Chapel and it is so beautiful. They have Police Dogs buried in the Cemetery with huge grave markers and a wall of epitaphs to pets. You need to bring a box of tissues with you when you go there because you end up crying.
Chicago DU'ers should take a trip out to Paw Prints Gardens Pet Cometary.

Another thing that I was upset over was.

My College was bought out by a Corporation and they run the students like they are a bill. If the bill is owed and you don't pay it you don't get any more credit which means you can't go to College if you don't pay up. The place that pay a portion of my tuition along with my books, bus pass, and anything that is left over has me on suspension until I bring my grades up.
I had a 4.0 average and then It dropped to 3.3 when I got sick. Then 1 1/2 months ago I took a few days off and it's my fault and not the other persons fault he did nothing wrong and I failed two classes when I didn't show up.
It was a wake up call for me big time because my grades dropped below the requirement to get the help from DOR's anymore.

Someone on DU asked me why I wanted to be a Chef when I am on permanent disability.
I know my limitations and I know that I will never be able to work in a Restaurant Kitchen and I have said this many times before.
I want to fulfill my dreams of becoming a Teacher and until I get my
Degree in Teaching I will use My Culinary Degree to be a personal Chef and work at my own pace.

Being poor has been a big change for me because I am use to being able to walk into a grocery store and pick up meat or something that is a luxury now and I didn't have to give it a second thought on whether I was going to purchase it or not but now I am lucky that I can afford to eat anything and I think God for that.

Yes, I am on government programs and for RIGHT WINGERS on this board I paid my taxes and we paid our business taxes and I have to use the benefits right now but I have a goal and that is to be a productive citizen again.

No one on here knows that I have had to deal with living with a Mentally Challenged Adult in my house and sometimes it gets unbearable at times because she is abusive.

I have never taken things off of people and long ago I learned that If a man bought you a drink, dinner or something he expected something in return. I have always been the giver and not the taker.

Don_G helped me out with a computer and coat and I owe the world to him for it.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone on DU for providing me with a place to turn to when things got rough at my house and in my life.

I am going to try and get back into College tomorrow and If I don't I don't. I will find a way in life to deal with everything.

They say God only gives you what you can bear but honey I don't know how much more I can bear before breaking down.

I take everything as a challenge and I deal with it but sometimes the challenge you can't overcome.

To make things worse my Sister's candle wax fell on Rudy's tail last night and he is at the Vet right now.

I HAVE OVERCOME ONE HARD CHALLENGE. WE LIVED WITHOUT FURNITURE FOR 7 MONTHS AND WE SLEPT ON THE FLOOR. I FOUND A COUCH AND LOVE SEAT AT IKEA THAT DOESN'T HAVE COVERS 2 MONTHS AGO AND WE NOW HAVE A COUCH AND LOVE SEAT.

God Bless Everyone

Debbie

Poor, sweet little kitty. :-( I'm so sorry, and I do know how attached we are to our pets. I'm nursing my little puppers back from a knee surgery, and it's been hell.

Again, my condolences. :-( You can talk to us anytime you want... and we won't call you a fool, either.

I feel bad about bitching about her peeing but it drove me nuts.

Even if you rent a place you should respect it like you own it.

I hope your little guy's knee comes out alright. Try to massage his knee when it heals.

God Bless

Try Lettermans top 10 list archive....nothing better when you are having a rough one than a few laughs. Wish i could do more.

Jay sucks big time.

It just takes a while sometimes. I am sorry for your loss. I know how living on disability can be. I have been on it for two years, and life can be rough when you don't have enough to pay the bills. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care,
Ember

Before I got disability when we were losing our house I had to go to Churches for food.
They would preach a sermon and they ask you why you were there like they didn't know already.

It's hard when your bills go over what you can pay. My Sister ran my phone bill up and I am going to lose my phone but I have done without a phone before and I don't need cable but I do need the INTERNET.

Its a bundle package and you get all three utilities and one large bill.

Did you have a hard time before you were put on disability? They usually want you to lose everything that you owe before helping you.

God Bless,
Debbie

about feeling like a bum, Debbie, because I've been there, but please be assured that YOU ARE NOT A BUM! I remember when I suddenly lost my job almost four years ago, after working my ass off for the fuckers for four years, they gave me a choice of resigning or being fired.

I chose resignation because there was no way in hell I was going to let four years of hard work and putting up with their bullshit every day be wasted. Did they care that I was a single mother? Did they care that I wasn't paid enough, even with two degrees (a B.A. and a paralegal certificate) to have any real savings after my bills every month? Did they care that the new supervisor was a young bitch who'd so far managed to totally destroy our department in just a few months and who had managed to get rid of several long-timers, including me? Did they care that without the job, I had no money? HELL NO!!!!!

At the same time, my son's father lost his job so I couldn't even count on the measly child support I had been receiving. For ten months I couldn't even find a job sweeping floors at McDonald's thanks to that fucking bitch of a supervisor (who was, herself, fired last year, yeah, there is a god after all) until an attorney I was acquainted with at my church had an opening and gave me a chance.


Before that, when I had nothing, life was total hell. I had loan payments and credit card bills, etc., etc., that I just had no money at all to pay. I was sending out a ton of resumes and never getting any calls for interviews. Every time the phone rang, I'd get hopeful, but it would invariably be some fucking bill collector harassing me for money that I JUST DID NOT HAVE, and making me feel like shit. It got to the point where my parents (my son and I live with them) would just say I wasn't home, then take a message because I couldn't take it anymore. I had electronic debits being taken from my account every month for a couple of bills, and it was a real struggle to come up with just forty bucks a month to cover them and when I didn't, the bank AND the companies socked me with heavy fees. I racked up late charges and penalties up the wazoo on my two credit cards, so that small bills under a thousand bucks turned into three and four thousand bucks within several months.

I HAD NOTHING, and society was making me feel like total shit and a criminal low-life, etc., etc. I was just living day to day because I was so exhausted from dealing every day with simple things like trying to cover a $20 electronic debit, and trying to figure out how to get little things like food for my son, etc., etc., and dealing with my parent's frustration as well.

I learned a very strong lesson on what it's like to really be poor and how you feel so downtrodden and so much like shit that you can barely function, only to have so many obstacles put in your way thanks to the policies of the fucking inhuman wingnuts who think all the poor are lazy scum and who have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes. So I know exactly where you're coming from and DO NOT let anyone make you feel like a bum or a criminal, etc., etc., BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT! You've just fallen on hard times in a society that criminalizes the poor and makes life an everyday hell for people who don't have enough money, no matter the reason.

People will say things to you because you are broke and they look down on you.

When you have money they look up to you and you never think of treating you bad or talking down to you.

Sorry to hear about what you have been through. I am glad that your old supervisor got the boot she deserved it.

grasswire (1000+ posts) Sun Nov-16-03 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #3

11. I don't understand


Why did you buy Christmas T-shirts for your instructors two nights ago if you were put on academic probation?

It probably would be a good idea to get some counseling help, Corarose. Things aren't making much sense. Everyone has trouble occasionally. You've got to get a handle on things soon.


THE T-SHIRTS COST 97 CENTS EACH AND I BOUGHT TWO.

No one would think a 97 cent shirt was a bad buy. The point is that when you bought the shirts for Christmas gifts for your instructors, you already knew that you were on academic probation and would be excluded from classes. I'm just saying the details don't make sense.

Here's what you said:

"The store on North Ave. I was up in that area last night having a beer and I stopped into the Old Navy store and I bought a Baked Goods t-shirt and it was marked $4.99 and they charged me .97 cents for it. I asked the guy if he had any more and he told me that all of the t-shirts that were in the sale section were .97 cents. I bought 6 of them and they were all .97 cents."

Six shirts. I guess two were for instructors? Is that what you meant?

Pull yourself together, corarose. I'm saying that in a kind and sympathetic way. Many of us have been down and out and homeless and poor and lost kitty-cats (I have one of my own near death) and have crazy relatives and have great physical pain and troubles of all kinds. You made a bad decision and skipped days of classes that put your schooling in jeopardy. That wasn't bad luck.

Do you have a case worker who could help you get back on track? Or even an advisor at school?

Wouldn't you need a few T-Shirts for 97 cents.

Do you want to know what my whole bill went it was $7.00 bucks and I didn't spend it on the drinking last night because I bought one pony beer.

2 shirts were for my instructors who have provided me with knowledge and giving me a chance to be a TA. They deserve a gift!

Also those couple extra 97 cent t-shirts that I bought will save me money on doing the laundry. I have to wash my clothes several times a week because I don't own very many since they were stolen and yes it is in court records that everything was ripped off.

The T-Shirts will actually save me cash this week and you know what they are for hot weather and it's freezing cold here but I don't care it is something to wear.

We had to live off of the credit cards and we are still paying them off. I know all about the feeling like a bum thing. People treated is like we were poor because I didn't want to work, not that I couldn't. I know you can make it through these tough times.

Ember

and I don't "know" you but have noticed your posts and like them. I naturally like anyone who is interested in food and who has pets they love. It's very difficult to let go of the love we have for our pets even when they leave us. I guess we have to hold onto the love but we can't express it as we did when we had them with us everyday. I still dream about my dog who died over 10 years ago.

If you want to continue in College, I hope that works out for you. I'm going through a tough time right now with much uncertainty about my future and the only way I cope is to just take every day one at a time and make the most of that day. This might seem simplistic and trite but it's what is keeping me sane and fairly happy most days. Anyway, wish I had something more to offer you but I do hope things start looking better for you.

My Poodle that I lost right before my mom died 10 years ago I had since I was in High School. That Dog slept with me every night and he had to go with you in the car everywhere you went.
He was a black and white toy poodle named Frosty-Snooches-Weezlebreath-Rabbi Straussman (he looked like a Rabbi that use to come to the doctor that I worked for because they both had jet black hair and a white beard and we started talking about our dogs one day and he said he looked like him) and sometimes I would call him Cotton because he was so damn soft.
I miss that Dog and I hate to say it more than any other pet child that I have ever had.
I would dress him up for Christmas, Halloween, etc. I have(well I did have) pictures of him sitting next to me at the dining room table eating his dinner. Yes that Dog has his own chair and he ate at the table.

He was the sweetest Dog in the world and I bought him from Woodfield Mall when they had a pet store there. My Mom thought that I bought her a lamp for Christmas and I bought her a Dog that took up with me.

The puppy was so small that he fit in a Kleenex and he came with Kennel Cough, Mites, Fleas, Mange, etc.

He died from congestive heart failure and God I broke down that day.

It's really great to remember all the good times we've had with pets. The dog I still dream about is Doonesbury, I got him when Jimmy Carter was President! He lived to be 18 years old, a Border Collie/Sheltie mix from the pound. I swore no more dogs after he died and I stuck to it for a few years. Now I've got 3 dogs and a foster dog! Yes, vet bills and food and everything else is expensive and the never ending battle with dog hair is aggravating but the love they give and the fun we have is well worth it.

Yes this is a challenge now,but hang in and things will get better. Just keep in touch with DU,and you never made a fool of yourself.

It's scary to think that corporations are now running some of them.

It's on Chestnut and it use to be a small private college until a Corporation took over.

I was watching the replay of speeches at the Jefferson-Jackson Dinner in Iowa. This was part of the speech by Dick Gephardt but the quotes belong to Martin Luther King. I expect you may agree with them and I know most of us here do:

"Martin Luther King said it best. He said: 'We're all tied together in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all of us indirectly.' At another time, he said, 'I can't be what I ought to be unless you can be what you ought to be.'"

Please give this some thought and do take care of yourself. We're all depending on you. :-)

dumb, but once that stupid song gets stuck in your head, you are doomed to hear it for at least a week.

It's hard to stay depressed whe "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" bangs around your head like a virus for a few days.

definitely. I have read your posts for quite a while and admire your perseverance. If only it was contagious, we would have a better society. While I have not been on disability, I have been homeless for parts of my life, and can empathize with the miserable feelingit brings. Have faith in yourself, and take pride in having made it through today, because it is an accomplishment. Every day is. From what you have posted about Ramona, I feel that I know what kind of person you are, and I get good vibes from you. I send you hugs from not just me, but from the fur kids too.:hug:

I've shelved a few of my dreams since 2000. It'll get better if you work on staying positive.

Anger does it for me, I'm just not going to let those bastiches get me down dammit! Never underestimate the power of pissed-offedness.

Sorry about your companion, it seems that sometimes it's our animals that understand us best.

Come spring, when things look brighter, your friend's spirit will come back to you. No longer frail, with new bright eyes that you will recognize instantly.

Trust me. Harrad

hang in there - you are in our prayers.

:-)

Before I lost everything in my Apt. I had a few things that I could have sold.

I am thinking about selling my Culinary Kit and I need it but I can make out on a few knifes and I am thinking about selling something else that I can get back in the future.

It took me a while to get the tears from my eyes.

When I was at Ft Lewis in WA state, I came across a small pet cemetary when I took a trail that I noticed. There were little graves there for dogs, cats, birds, fish, darn near everything that could be a pet. I would figure there were well over 100. Some of them were pretty elaborate, and you could tell they were mostly done by kids. There was a dog's grave there that had MG George S Patton & Family as the previous masters of the dog. Funny, it was one of the less elaborate of the many there.

I know what you are going through, even though I cannot feel your particular pain at this point. the loss of a loved fur face is pretty tough stuff. Our pets are extensions of ourselves, and are part of our families.

As for the other things that are happening in your life right now, you are correct that you never get more than you can handle; even though it does not seem like that at the time. You can rest assured that things will get better. I know that things will work out, trust me on that.

In the mean time, please, do not despair. You are in good hands, there will be a turnaround soon.

God Bless, and my thoughtsa and prayers are with you.

:hug: to you, and those around you. You are a bright light here at DU, and you will see the goodness coming your way.

Trust,

Ras

I have always been the type when someone told me I couldn't do something I would do it no matter what.

Pet cemeteries are the saddest place that I have ever been in. Your heart falls out when you read the plaques and some of them have pictures on them. It's worse then going to the cemetery where my Mother is buried at and I know that sounds odd. Well I haven't really been to visit my Mom's grave because I can't do it and I know that sounds bad.

God only gives you the burdens that you can handle. Sometimes I wonder why God gives some people more then they can handle. It makes you a stronger person but how strong does one have to get before the burdens are gone.

Thanks & God Bless,

Debbie

on March 3. She was beautiful. She was a tortie kitty with one tan paw and a tan chin. She got sick slightly at Christmas last year and I just knew that this was it, ya know? I was right, it was down hill after that. I was at the vet almost every other day. I was so upset that I had to drive myself to the hospital for a mini nervous breakdown the day before Valentine's Day. We had to put her to sleep on 3/3/03 because her kidneys finally failed.

I still call her name.

She wasn't a cat, she was a little girl in a fur suit. I just feel like I didn't have enough time with her. We adopted her from the Boulder County Humane Society when she was five and she was 13 when she died. She had a whole five years of life with someone else. I often think, who would have given her up? I couldn't even imagine life without her.

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had something profound to say.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of you little kitty girl. She must have been so beautiful with her totie coloring.

Ramona started going down hill last year and I kept taking her to the vet but they couldn't do anything for her.

I always wonder who tossed my cat Rudy out into the dead of winter. He is a large Albino Cat and I think that he is a Turkish Van or an Angora. He was outside of six months including the cold Chicago Winter. When we took him in he wasn't adjusting to us because he had been through so much abuse and the abandonment did something to him.

I love my big White Guy and I know where you are coming from when you say that you wonder what type of a life she had and why someone would do such a thing.

God Bless,
Debbie

When words are not enough...

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