OK Bertha, here's the "Pardon me, Roy" joke:

Roy Rogers comes in from a hard day's work on the ranch.
His boots are all muddy, he's too tuckered out to clean them, and he doesn't want to incur Dale's wrath, so he leaves them on the porch.

The next morning he goes out to clean them and finds them ripped to shreds.

"Dang, Gabby. Those were almost brand new Luchesse ostrich and iguana boots. Wonder what happened to them?"

"Wal, Roy, there's been a ol' mountain lion a-spookin' the horses the last coupla nights. Coulda been him."

Roy saddles Trigger, puts his trusty Winchester in the scabbard, and rides off.

Several hours later he comes riding back in.
There is a large dead mountain lion slung over his saddle horn.
And Gabby sez,
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"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed yer new shoes?"