I've just endured
Swimfan, tagline "His biggest fan just became his worst nightmare." (or "It's murder getting the man you want."), a highschool ripoff of
Fatal Attraction. I didn't go in expecting greatness, just a mediocre 90 minutes that would introduce me to some new talent.
Half an hour in & I knew I was watching a clunker. The lead guy was dull beyond redemption and his decision to cheat on his girlfriend just didn't sit with his character. Still I persevered as the melodrama ratched up notch after notch and the psycho-stalker just got sillier and sillier. About an hour in I was physically getting angry with what I was watching - especially when they included a song from
The Gentle Waves. But I kept watching because I just can't give up films part way through.
For most people I know this isn't a problem. They can switch off the set or shut down the DVD player (even walk out of the cinema, although that only happened when I took people to see
Beau Travail) and it doesn't bother them that they don't get to find out what happened. For me that's impossible. As a result I've sat through utter shite, treating it as a test of endurance. And generally I end the film cursing my need for completeness, thoroughly pissed off and depressed.
Is this curable? Surely life's too short.
So am I alone, or do other people have this problem?
---------
However - there is a golden lining to this story. I've found something genuinely interesting about Swimfan that raises its status slightly into cult territory. What follows is a quote from a poster on IMDB:Watch out for a comatose character called 'Jake Donely', you see him comatose in hospital and also a pic of him in a newspaper in a film. The character 'Jake Donely' is on-screen for only a few seconds. He is played by a background actor called Monroe Mann who thought his background role was such an amazing success that he wrote a book about it (I kid you not, look up Amazon.com for the author 'Monroe Mann') AND he opened a school for actors where he teaches them how to become famous by using his own techniques!
The funny thing is that Monroe Mann has only ever had that single background role and has appeared in nothing else despite his intense efforts to become a film-star. He wrote his own film (about wakeboarding) called 'In the Wake of Identity' which he submitted to the IMDb last year, but it was taken down when it was revealed that the film wasn't in production as the $3million budget has to be collected through donations from people -again this is no joke, check the official site as proof:
http://wakinamovie.com/ -note also the donations total so far ($12,530)
Monroe is a cult favourite on the IMDb not just due to his books and acting school, but because from 2002-2004 he posted regularly here about how great he is and how he is going to be a super-star (he hasn't posted much this year because he is in Iraq!), check out his IMDb forum:
http://imdb.com/name/nm0990542/board/threads/ On his website monroemann.com he states that he will become an Oscar winning actor, a Grammy winning rock-star (with his useless band called 'Crazy Morning') and he'll also win the Pulitzer prize!
His utterly moronic life and attempts at becoming famous have been collected and compiled on this website:
10-things-i-HATE-about-monroe-mann.50webs.com/