Action items for the destruction of Xmas

1 - always say and spell 'xmas'

2 - Mix polar bear statues into nativity scenes

3 - For even more fun, add Hulk Hogan

4 - Put a 12 pack in the manger. Put a pack of Newports in Mary's pocket.

Feel free to add your own...

sex toys errr.... marital aids. Whatever I'm supposed to say tactfully.

I saw this on CSI....does it really work? And afterwards, can one see ones face in one?

And where it's been. :shrug:

and the dishwasher is the perfect place to sterilize them, but rubbing alcohol keeps the more usual sort from breeding yeast and other nasties and giving them back to the user.

I errr... read that somewhere. Yeah, that's it.

and do not have a non-removable vibrator or battery pack.

Don't stick your jelly toys or cyberskin in the dishwasher.

Just send me you wish list....

Oh, and in response to the OP, our xmas tree at the store is decoracted with penis pencil toppers, condoms, and lube samples.

A tiny box of Tide detergent

A half-pint of Southern Comfort

A tiny bottle of Joy dishwashing soap

. . . :rofl:

Also, very useful items after the holiday season, heh :)

and burning Santa's ass

Our local paper calls them "Holiday Highlights" which only encourages these twits :(

And what my neighbors spend on this sh*t, could feed a small third world country for a year. Not to mention Pat Robertson's display up the road at his Holy Compound, and the eighty gabillion brazilian twinkly lightbulbs that light up the mid-Atlantic states....and this makes Geebus happy? Oy-Vey.

She's a very nice young lady...

Oh, you mean the holiday! Baby Jesus butt plug, definitely. I think Toys in Babeland are discounting them....

Khash.

(someone is going to hell and his name begins with K)

Wow.

But as my buddy always says about God........Fuck him if he can't take a joke. Tee hee. I'll see you there.

I voted for you as most evil, Khash. I hope you appreciate this. ;)

Not here, of course...

abound.

My contribution:

The moment my son opens his presents on Christmas morning I scream "Happy X-mas!" and then flip the switch that causes the radioactive sandwich to ignite the flux capacitor, which then let's loose the gaser beam with which I will undo Christ's mas forever more. "No more consumer products for you little boy."

He'll cry and all that. But oh the sweet revolution will be glorious.

:rofl:

gotta love it!

I want a link for posterity!

If it were on Free Republic, I would be able to, but I'm not allowed to give a link to the place where you'll find people thinking you're serious, or that they now claim that we were serious to begin with and got called on it so we're now saying it wasn't serious.

with a statue of a couple of velociraptors attacking Santa Claus.

2. Petition the mall to let you set up a competing display for the "Take your picture with Santa" called "Take your picture with the real Santa" and sell on-the-spot Polaroids of kids sitting on the throne with their parents.

3. Insist that every radio station play only "Father Christmas" by The Kinks.

4. Complain to the FCC that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman contain hidden backwards messages telling you to kill your parents.

With walk on water action.

http://www.devilducky.com/media/14426

maybe?

every freaking xmas song !

It's xmas time at the wal-mart!

Glory to the cash register's ring ...

this could be fun, probably needs it own thread :)

My mom is a fundie and gets really obnoxious around Christmas time. She LOVES using that "Jesus is the reason for the season" catchphrase and always complains about the big honkin menorah outside the public library.

She got this nativity scene from Costco a few years ago (no joke...though I have to admit, it is rather pretty), she always puts it on display in our bay window facing the street. It's been a running gag of mine to always stick something in it that's wildly inappropriate and see how long it takes her to notice something isn't right with the scene. Last year she almost killed me cause she spotted one of my old My Little Ponies with the shephards. Then there was the time I stuck one of my old Polly Pockets in the manger. :evilgrin:

A couple years ago I swapped out one of the Three Wise Men for my Gandalf figure and she totally didn't notice until we were taking it down in January. :rofl:

Err...wait, never mind.

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The X stands for Christos (Christ)/letter Chi! You have been indoctrinated.....

Like Jesus we don't know when he was born. So for xmas I celebrate his birth. Course that means instead of a manger I put up Socrates addressing the senate. Makes people wonder. :D

Xmas definitely needs more Hulkamania.

a drunken orgy for the Scandanavian peoples.