I'm wallowing in self-pity....ask me anything.

I've been really down the last couple of weeks. I am out of work and no prospects for re-employment in my field, I have a chronic illness, and depression to cap it all off. I really can't seem to pull myself out of this rut even though I recognize it for what it is.

I am right there with you. The Rethug bookkeeper made a mistake and cost 3 of us our jobs.... (Not Him of Course)

You need to have that depression taken care of. It'll ruin everything else. Does your illness prevent you from doing any exercise at all? If you can exercise, that'll help. Even though it's hard as hell to get started when you're depressed, that's probably the best thing you can do for yourself. It doesn't have to be strenuous. Walking is great.

When I found out my job was being outsourced I had myself put on my domestic partner's insurance. You are right about exercise. I bought 3 different Yoga DVD's and have been putting off doing any of them.

Don't beat yourself up about not doing anything. You have a right to be miserable. You earned it. But see if there isn't some way to trick yourself into doing something. Not a whole video. That's asking for way too much the first time. Just set a timer for 10 minutes, put one in the vcr, and watch it for 10 minutes.

the rest will follow. My husband has been out of work since September 2002, and we are getting prepared to readjust our life style. As long as you are depressed, every issue you face will be insurmountable. Bless you.

You could destroy your relationship... I speak from experience.

I know somebody who's whole life is one long pity party. I've come to think she enjoys feeling sorry for herself, and the attention it gets her.

is a exactly a life-long "pity party".

Under the circumstances, I think a little blues is in order.

But I think the first step to getting out of a funk is admitting you are in one.

The second is admitting that you might need help to get out of it. Two weeks is nothing, though, if you've lost your job. My friend and I joke that we needed a month on the couch and month for the resume. I think that's about right.

It's something I wonder about. How is that mean?

to be able to totally change what you do, maybe take a much lower-paying job that you'll like better? I wouldn't be able to, if I lost my job; my house payment's too high. I'd be screwed. Hope you'll be okay financially.

Try to get outside the house for a little while every day. Staying in the house all the time makes depression exponentially worse. When you feel up to it, make it your job to find another job - get up every morning, shower, and dress, and "go to work" looking for work. My husband fell into a godawful depression when he was out of work for 17 months, and it wasn't until he started keeping to a regular schedule and getting really serious about changing careers that things improved for him.

On the plus side, he really bonded with our cat, as he was home all day with him from the time he was a tiny kitten. Cappy loves him to distraction. He was John's constant companion during his terrible depression.

It will force you to get out of the house and feel productive. Of course, if you are getting maximum unemployment, I suppose that this could actually be worse for you economically.

No job although I do have an interview on Wednesday, was really down last week but for some strange reason I'm feeling slightly more upbeat this week.

Good luck and talk to someone willing to listen preferably a counselor like I did this morning.

:toast:

Sometimes, you just have to feel bad. I feel bad, too.

OK, here's the question. If you were going to take a hot, candle-lit bath, and just cry in the tub for a little while, what music would you put on?

She has that jazzy, bluesy kind of torch song voice that appeals to my inner gayness.

When I was in a really dark place. Basically it contained every song of utter heartbreak that I could find in my music colletion. I think I called the tape Anguish - I had it in my car once and someone borrowed my car and popped the tape in not knowing what it was. When they brought the car back, they were like, "Oh my God, what was that?"

I listen to it sometimes though when I'm feeling really sad because sometimes you need something to crack open the damn and release all that pain.

I do think there's a difference between feeling sadness and pain and "depression". I think depression is that paralyzing state when for whatever reason you can't release the emotions, I find actually not so much when it's sadness but when it's anger.

So whatever you can do to make sure you're not holding anything in and that you find a way to keep flowig out - in a safe way -

I wish you comfort and strength.

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.