Houston DUers - how accurate is this?

I got this on another list. It cracked me up, and I thought you Houston types might like it:

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Ewe-stun", not "Huestun." Oh yea, it is pronounced "San Phal-ee-pay," not "San Phil-eep" (San Felipe).

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.

3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop
610".... Which has no beginning and no end.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic...a "Scenic Drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one of the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.

7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian.

8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must be in Pasadena!!!."

10.If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.

11.All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.

12.The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

13.The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.

14.Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.

15.If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.

16.The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.

17.If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

18.When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.

19.You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built.

In Houston it's San Filluppy.

The rest of that stuff is pretty accurate. Of course, I'm just a Houston visitor.

that one is an outsider if one cannot pronounce it.

BTW, it's pronounced "Kirkendoll". Hint for anyone wanting to live in Houston. That can't be many people. I felt like I'd been sentenced to live there, and moving back up to the PNW was a parole.

;-)

It's also okay to go the wrong way down a one way street if only for a couple of blocks.

eom

Obviously, the writer is above all that. (Alas, I drive to work on Mondays because of an early meeting so I got to drive home through severe gridlock today. The freeways are a bit flooded right now.)

Living "Inside the Loop" allows one to avoid most of the freeway madness. Newcomers often foolishly choose the same far-out (but not in a good way) suburbs their co-workers recommend--then they wonder why they don't like Houston. My neighborhood (just North of downtown) is represented by Sheila Jackson Lee; Sugar Land is now mostly suburbs & votes for Tom DeLay. (Historical note: Sugar Land was named after the sugarcane harvested by slaves, then mostly by convicts. It's where the Midnight Special shone its light on Leadbelly.)

Most of the list is true for those who choose to build their lives around the Houston freeways. Notes:

1) Houston IS usually pronounced "Huestun". "San Felipe" is Spanish so "San Phal-ee-pay" is closer to the correct pronunciation.

2) Has he ever driven in Boston? Los Angeles?

7) "Kuykendahl Road" is easy. "West Fuqua" is the real test.

13) Wrought iron has historically been used for security; it just looks better than the standard burglar bars.

17) It's almost Thanksgiving & hasn't been 100 for a few weeks. The air conditioners have even been turned off occasionally.

18) Unfortunately, many unmarked exits lead to Dallas....

traffic everyday. Today was horrible getting home. It took an extra 2-1/2 hours to get home because of the flooding. The freeways were so sad...all we could do was look out the window and ooh and aah. Are you in the Heights? My rep. is Gene Green, I'm in the Kuykendahl (pronounced Kirkendall DUers) and Ella area.

:-)

You can't beat makin a high-speed run to Houston Intercontinental Airport on tha Beltway...

Cheers, y'all

I remember learning that one in S. Fla. when I was learning to drive 35 years ago. Seems to me they have total immunity if their Cad is bearing NY plates too.