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What is the all-time funniest line from a sitcom?

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11 Bravo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 08:46 AM
Original message
What is the all-time funniest line from a sitcom?
For me it has to be the WKRP in Cincinnati Thanksgiving episode where a shell-shocked Arthur Carlson says, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle.
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kick-ass-bob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 08:50 AM
Response to Original message
1. that is the one.
Nothing can ever top that in my book.

I was crying, I was laughing so hard :rofl:
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Devra Donating Member (905 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 08:53 AM
Response to Original message
2. " would you believe two fat cops in a row boat"
Edited on Wed Oct-26-05 08:53 AM by Devra
"Get Smart"
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
3. We'll do it--me and the missus!"
From M*A*S*H: Hawkeye, speaking of himself and Trapper John (both in gorilla suits), agreeing to perform an embarrassing bit of surgery on Frank Burns.
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Devra Donating Member (905 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:00 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. heres anither one from M*A*S*H
"...and now that lam is on a plane to become Radar's little brother"
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 08:57 AM
Response to Original message
4. "Are you sure Bernice wrote this?"
From Barney Miller: Fish, having picked up a transcript of an obscene phone call, mistaking it for a message from his wife. The weird grin he wore was priceless.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:00 AM
Response to Original message
6. From Archie Bunker
Edith buys stephanie some lip gloss and archie says "Geez Edith why don't get her some rougue and streetlamp"
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
7. M*A*S*H: Everyone's having a moment of silent prayer for some
solemn occasion. Colonel Potter notices that Klinger has his head bowed, and he whispers to him, "I thought you were an atheist?" Klinger says, "I gave it up for Lent."
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:04 AM
Response to Original message
8. There are so many in Red Dwarf
Holly: Wasn't it Jean-Paul Satre who said, hell is being locked in a room with all your friends for eternity?

Lister: Holly, all his mates were French.



and then there's:

Rimmer: Holly, give me a triple fried egg sandwich with chilli and chutney.

Holly: You what?

Lister: It's a state of the art sarnie.

Holly: It's the state of the floor I'm worried about.
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MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:06 AM
Response to Original message
9. Barring the Turkey line, which I agree is the funniest ever, this one:
Edited on Wed Oct-26-05 09:07 AM by MrScorpio
From Barney Miller

One of the officers comes into the squadroom (I think it was Wojo) excitedly
describing a taxi cab accident where the cab was spinning out of control and
the clothes from the fare's luggage were flying out of the cab and around in
a circle. Dietrich blurts out "Centrifugal Force". Everyone stops and looks
at him. Dietrich says it again and gives a detailed, scientific definition
of what centrifugal force is. Wojo continues to describe that a couple of
seconds later the doors fell off and that clothes were all over the street. Deitrich blurts out, "Now your talkin' gravity".
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:24 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Also from Barney Miller
Wojo finds out that Dietrich is an atheist.

Wojo: "So what happens after you die?"

Dietrich: "You rot."
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:26 AM
Response to Original message
11. "whaaat doeesss a yeeellllooww liiigght meaaan?"
From Taxi

Reverend Jim is taking his written test to get a drivers license, and tries to get answers from Tony.

Pssst.
What does a yellow light mean?


Slow down.
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Devra Donating Member (905 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:28 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. I love taxi
"I spent seven years of my life making a macrame couch"

Or "how many drugs do you think I did"
"alot"
"right on the nose"
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:28 AM
Response to Original message
12. "What does it mean... someone left the cake out in the rain?"
Designing Women.... Alice Ghostly playing Bernice Clifton.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #12
14. Bernice was sooo funny!!
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:02 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. "Black Man! Black Man!"
I used to get such a kick out of her. I remember when she got plastic surgery and ended up looking like Miss Piggy.
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RubyDuby in GA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:06 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. "Where did you come from?"
I loved that show. I will still watch reruns whenever I see it on tv. :)
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:21 AM
Response to Reply #15
23. Hahahaha! I remember that one too!!
Or the time she wore the Christmas tree skirt as a real skirt!! :rofl:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:02 AM
Response to Original message
16. Neil! Your bedroom's on fire!!
:D
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grace0418 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:28 AM
Response to Reply #16
25. "Still, at least my surname isn't Back..."
...It'd be awful, wouldn't it? Helen Back. My surname is Mucous."
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:07 AM
Response to Original message
18. "Do women know about Shrinkage? ... The water was cold!!"
George Costanza -- I don't know if it's the funniest, but it is funny.
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phusion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #18
21. Great episode
one of my favs
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:20 AM
Response to Reply #18
22. Elaine: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Her payoff line was great. :rofl:
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WilmywoodNCparalegal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
19. "I'm out!"
Kramer in the famous "The Contest" episode of Seinfeld, after having viewed the nude neighbor across the street.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:24 AM
Response to Reply #19
24. What was that other Kramer line: "I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm LOVIN' it!
or something to that effect when Jerry realized Kramer had opted for no underwear ...

Classics!
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ThatsMyBarack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
20. From some cancelled FOX sitcom of the '90s
Guy: ....I'm not buying you any feminine products!

His Wife: Cottage cheese is not a feminine product!

:rofl:
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