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When clubbing baby seals, is it okay to club with veal?

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:22 PM
Original message
When clubbing baby seals, is it okay to club with veal?
Nothing like a big ol' veal thigh bone for clubbing baby seals, I always say. Especially if it's from a meat-eating circumcised veal.
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. Only if your fawn-hide gloves are lined with kitten fur
You wouldn't want to chafe, or anything.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:26 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Oh, yeah, good point!
I also like to kill a bear first, to get some fresh bear grease to keep the stitching on the fawn-hide gloves lubricated proper.
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OldLeftieLawyer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
3. Yes, but
be careful not to get baby seal schmutz on your mink coat.

That happened to me once, and it's just been unwearable since then.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
4. You idiot
There's no such thing as a "big ol' veal" bone, veal never grows enough to produce "big ol' bones", what you're looking for is an elephant tusk. Preferably female, killed while pregnant - they have a higher bone density when pregnant..


:hide:
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. And to make counting the kills easier, I should use just one tusk
per baby seal. Then, at the end of the year, I count up the tusks, and I'll know how many baby seals I nailed!

Genius!
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:36 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Plus at one point you should hold the small end up to your ear
And pretend it helps you hear better. That's pretty funny.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Especially if I do this:
"Eh? What's that little seal, 'Don't club me to death'? I'm sorry, I can't hear you" BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM. "What's that? Screaming in pain?" BAM BAM BAM BAM.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #9
14. *holding one tusk up to each ear*
Hey, I think this one over here wants a Viking Funeral! Wham bam bam bam!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. ho jo to ho! ho jo to ho!
BAM BAM BAM BAM!

Another one for Valhalla, Sven! BAM BAM BAM!
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:18 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. Ya ya!
This one 'ere - he is the last - we set him on fire for good luck next season!
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SIU_Blue Donating Member (566 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:40 PM
Response to Original message
7. You'll need
to bag the seals in a Rhino-skin bag.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:58 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Good thinking!
Should I wear my Monitor Lizard-skin tundra boots?
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Kire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
10. Do it quick. Daddy's on stage.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
11. Shut up. I am pissed at you.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4210238

x(
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
12. Don't forget your Bald Eagle feather down parka
It gets frosty on those ice floes.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. I have it over my snowy owl feather down vest.
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kanrok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-26-05 10:20 PM
Response to Original message
17. NONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!
Use a Unicorn tusk, silly.
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