If Someone Cheats on You...would you prefer the other person..

you have to state why

Are you insane at 2 AM?

i changed that...so that it makes more sense

i guess i have lost all reasoning skills this late at night

And yeah, I've been there. I'm thankful that she did it...both times. Cuz I'm not stuck with her ass, and she's missing out on ALL of THIS.

most unfortunately!!

on edit: i had an argument with a friend...i insight that if i am cheated on i would prefer it be someone prettier than me...otherwise i just dont get it...

if you are cheated on, how could you prefer she were prettier than you? You ask for miracles, here. I've seen the photos. Your friend should stipulate to that not being possible.

One could also say that there are BRAZILIANS of women that you are prettier than, am I right?

skinnier..in better shape...


hell 2 years ago i was prettier than me now!

you were messing up the beauty bell curve for lots more women. And, I doubt it. 2 years is just 730 days.

Skinnier? Better shape? Bah. Paris Hilton is skinnier (better shape...doubt it). I'd not touch her with a 10 foot pole. You, on the other hand...

it seems to be over run by beautiful women

in Florida which is overrun by "beautiful" women in bikinis 10 months out of the year.

Next?

Cheraters, and the people who cheat with them, are all fucking ugly inside.

As far as I'm concerned, cheaters deserve to hook up with other cheaters; they deserve the inevitable unhappiness which will come as a result of their union.

...no matter the cost.

Just ask my ex-wife.

I do not tolerate disloyalty.

Period.

i just ask that it be rational

and only one admits to it...you other 3...i want explanations of my insanity :P

It wouldn't have mattered if she was ugly or pretty, the betrayal was the issue. :(

Take that how you want to.

but prettier? Yeah. :(

Not possible.

Not knowing would make it easier to move on and start forgetting about both the cheater and the cheatee.

Alright, I might be curious and would want to know a little bit about the other person. But I don't think details could make it hurt any less and could probably only make it hurt more.

would cheat on me with someone better looking, more accomplished, whatever.

That they would choose someone lesser (by whatever standard)
actually hurts worse.


Khash.

I really, really couldn't.

Some people are idiots. And who knows what makes an idiot do the things they do?

The important thing to know is that it is their loss. Theirs, not yours.

:hug:

i think you and i are fucked up in similar ways :hug:

their punishment. But then again, a cheating person is their own punishment.

Think about it. Someone cheats on you with another person who is, by definition, a cheater. If that person has half a brain, it will occur to him or her that this person is a cheater by definition, and MAY INDEED CHEAT ON HIM OR HER SOMEDAY.

If they'll cheat WITH you, why wouldn't they cheat ON you?

They'll never be completely at ease in that relationship, at least if there's a just god in heaven.

Are you really this shallow?

I'd be upset about the betrayal, not what size clothes she wore or how pretty her face was.

:eyes:

take comfort from whatever they can in bad situations. Some people might take more comfort from one situation or another.
We are all shallow creatures, to some degree or another.

It says it better than I ever could.

fsc

Jumping to conclusions about a persons character based on a conversation they had with a friend and being totally rude about it is better than possibly being shallow? :shrug:

is also better than being possibly shallow.

She IS shallow.

Same diff.

its about trying to rationalize somethign that probably cannot be explained anyway...

...because calling you a self-involved git in the way I planned would be inappropriate.

I would want to know the details. I think it would make moving on easier for me if I was certain I wouldn't be confronted with the details later.

I'd cheat on her no matter what she looked like.

Surface physical attraction is the ONLY reason ever to have sex with someone. Otherwise, I just don't get it.

in the first place?

i think that that is rather selfish and self absorbed of you, too.

a. date someone who's fixated on others' looks.
b. cheat in the first place.


If I were cheated on, I wouldn't give a damn what the other person looked like. It's shallow to think that.

for whatever reason...

and if i did, it wouldnt be justified by who my partner was. it would be an internal flaw of my own. nothing to do with my partner at all.

I wouldn't be associated with someone who thinks looks are everything in the first place.

your opinion is i had it coming or someone like me can expect such things to happen

i disagree

a friend of mine was cheated on...she is wonderful..radiant..lovely...completely selfless...giving...generous...which is where this thread started from....

these things are not dependent on who you are...rather than how bad you are judging character

charming.

that way when I kicked him to the curb, he could torture himself with thinking "why did I risk losing her over someone so damn ugly". LOL!

I guess for me, since I rarely see my husband, I would rather he cheated because he was lonely than because she was prettier. I wouldn't forgive either one but it would be easier on my self-esteem (or lack thereof).

I don't think it matters one way or the other. Having said that, knowing the other person isn't even a fraction of what I am in any particular category you could choose (looks, intelligence, treatment, career, you name it) really simultaneously drives me beserk and makes me feel better. On one hand, it's like "What the fuck did I have to do to please you?", yet on the other, she's completely fucking insane (and not only is that true, I'm being quite NICE saying that) and it really didn't have much to do with me at all.

So I guess I have to say it doesn't matter either way.

wish she was uglier of course!!! Duh!

She was crying to me that she got dumped "for a 52-year-old! Not even a younger woman!"

I told her she got dumped for an 18-year-old who would always be an 18-year-old cheerleader in her ex's eyes.

when you are trying to rationalize cheating in your head

when they are prettier/younger/richer...you can console yourself that it may have been too tempting for him/her...

when its someone not as pretty/young/rich....you tend to think that maybe theres something wrong with you

At least if it wasn't someone from the past one could rationalize to a certain degree the other person, situation etc. But in your friend's circumstance I would imagine she's left feeling as though she was never truly loved.

The husband (H.S. football player) dated and the girlfriend (cheerleader) through H.S., and she broke it off their first year out of school. He immediately got engaged to his 1st wife, sort of as a "I'll show you" gesture.

Fast forward 25 years and 3 grown kids, a second wife of 16 years, and a 15-year old child.

His old girlfriend gets a divorce and decides to "look him up" via email. They start a secretive email "affair", then start hooking up when he's on the road for work. My friend finds the evidence, confronts him, and boots him out. I think she did indeed question the foundation of their 16-year marriage.

Worst yet, the ex-girlfriend is a Jewish ghostwriter who ghostwrites books for fundamentalist Christians on subjects like "Covenant Marriage" and "Keeping your Christian Marriage Strong".

You think yoiu know a person and you clearly don't know something important about that person.

Then you start to doubt your own judgement. This thinking can go down all kinds of ratholes.

It's a perfectly normal reaction to being cheated on, and I hope you regain your equilibrium soon. :hug:

i have been cheated on(multiple times...different people)...but in this instance it sprang from a conversation with a friend...about her fiance...


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4212384&mesg_id=4214137

Neither I nor any of my lovers are monogamous, so it's a moot point to me.

But if I catch one trying to pretend monogamy, which I have in the past, I break it off. Cheating is not an issue to me, but lying is.

The cheater would be missing a nut or two :evilgrin:

My preference would be that my loved one not cheat to begin with.

have some sort of communicable illness.

and with the right measure of vengeance

as my first wife was having an affair with a friend of mine within 3 months of our wedding.

I reacted...poorly.

:7

and it is the absolute WORST feeling in the entire world.

Even though in my heart of hearts I knew, KNEW, that it was all about his lack of humanity... it stung like a wasp on an eyelid.

Oi...and I was 8 months pregnant when he left me for another women.
Tell me who was the last to know?

:evilgrin:

When I was cheated on by a past boyfriend, I remember wondering if the other woman was more attractive than I was, but I don't think I would have wished any of the above. I more wished that I didn't find myself in that situation. It really, really, really sucked.

What if she cheats on me with another woman?

Still cheating, but she (the other) is prettier by default, as I do not consider me (or guys) pretty.

Personally, I wouldn't want to know anything, but would be tortured enough to find out.

RL

In time none of this will matter.

I know.

atleast not anymore

But it's none of my business.

Just be well.

. . . they don't exist in my world anymore. No other facts are relevant.

}(

I've always wanted a doppleganger.

But only because you are into hygiene. ;)

just because she looks like me...

A doppelganger is a counterpart.

Forget I ever said anything.

:scared:

I've been cheated on a whole lot in my life (almost every relationship I've ever had), and I'd much rather be cheated on because the "somebody else" was more attractive physically.

Why? Because it means that the person I'm with is likely having a shallow relationship with me. I can choose to deepen the relationship, or find somebody else who is striving for a deeper relationship.