A week ago today (Tuesday) grandma died.

It's been a REAL hard week. Not only dealing with the death, but realizing someone I've lived with most my life will never be there. What is worse is that next week it's not only Thanksgiving, but what would ber her 78th BIRTHDAY! :(

My heart has a void that I don't think will ever be filled. I truly have lost all emotion for the world. I've even lost my love for Dean and the Democrats. At this point I don't care if we do win; grandma won't be there to see Bush leave.

I really hope I'm not sinking into depression. Jesus, sometimes I'll be driving down the road and just WISH it'd flip over and take my life. The only thing keeping me going is my mom. I need to be strong for her because she took a major blow as well.

Forgive the pity post, but I wanted to get this off my chest. Hope you all don't mind.

I lost my grama and my dad in under two years and it was a tough time. But just hang in there,time heals.

I felt a lot that way when my father died, back in '96. It's natural to have some of those thoughts and feelings -- or lacks thereof -- I think they're part of the grieving process. But if they hang on for more than a couple of weeks, you might want to think about seeing a psychologist or at least talking to your family doctor. The important thing is not to let yourself get so down that you start thinking feeling that way is normal -- it isn't normal to feel that way for any length of time.

For your own sake and your mother's, don't let it get out of hand, that's all I'm saying. Sometimes, when it's all flying around your head like that, it's liberating to talk to a pro about it.

I hope you have someone you can talk with.

I didn't know your grandma, but I'd wager she wanted a long healthy happy life for you.

What is your favorite memory of a good time with her?

But I just loved talking with her. Whether it was when I got up in the morning, got home from class, or we were eating dinner. :)

I am 60 years old, and when I talk to my 59 year old cousin, we always end up talking about our grandmother, because we loved her so much, and she was such a major influence on our lives. She has been dead for many years, but we keep her memory alive.

Entitle yourself to grieve; don't let anybody give you a timetable, or tell you when to get over it. It will always hurt, but the hurt will become bearable, and you can keep her alive in your heart as long as you live,

My love and best wishes go to you and your family tonight.

We consoled ourselves in the belief she chose that time to end her long illness so we would be freed to enjoy the holidays. Better to die before the holidays arrived, she reasoned, lest her death ever be associated with the holidays. If true (and we've no way to know), it was a selfless, loving gesture, much as her entire life had been.

The pain eases, Sean. We fill the voids with ongoing life and, one day, before we've realized it, there's happiness and love in our life again. It's never the same, nor do we ever want it to be, but we realize this and move on, content in our new found enjoyments of life's ongoing panoply.

"If there's any substitute for love," Josephy Brodsky observed, "it is memory."

It can really mess with you too if you don't stop and understand that it takes many stages.

There are grief counseling and support groups associated with many hospitals. If you are going through this and feel this bad, you might wish to look into one in your area. I know you have other issues going on in your family so I suspect that is part of what is having you feel so alone about this.

If you keep having these feelings and they aren't lightening up with the passage of time, please look into it.

....I know it's tough...lost mine in '97...she was one of my best friends too...went through a LOT of family turmoil after she passed as well which made it even more difficult to mourn her passing...just keep on keepin'on...that's what she'd have wanted you to do...she'll live forever in your memories of her as long as you live...please remember that sweetie!! :hug: :loveya:

lost my mom on her birthday. ya you think about your mom and that will help you..it will be ok it does get better and remember she will always be with you,maybe not in body but always in your heart and soul for the rest of your life and that`s worth all the pain you`re going thru now.....

Here's a tight hug :hug:.

Just remember. Your grandmother won't see Bush leave but *YOU* will be there when he does. You are your grandmother's eyes.

Love,

UGRR Mina :hi: :loveya:

even than my parents. I miss her even today and she has a special place in my memories. I get a lot of comfort thinking about her when times are chaotic because I can still feel her love. You will too Sean. It will take awhile to grieve but she wants you to go on with your life. She put a lot in helping raise you and remember and she doesn't want you to be unhappy. She wants you to go on with your life.

and one of my grandfathers too. I lost all four of my grandparents between 1999 and 2002, and like Cleita, I still feel their love. In a way I felt blessed to have had them all in my life until my early thirties, I only wish I had lived closer to them, so that we could have had more time together.

As time passes, your feelings of loss and regret will slowly be set aside,and eventually you will smile at the memory of your Grandmother. You will think of all those conversations, all her words of kindness and wisdom with fondness and without overwhelming grief.But do grieve now, because to grieve deeply is to know that you have loved someone and loved them well. You will always miss her, but I do think that you, too will feel her at your side in time. She will always be a part of who you are, and you must live to carry on her memory and wisdom.

Be well, Sean.

she was 81. but our family were hoping sooner rather than later as her stroke had really destroyed her and she had pain. as a friend said. there are worse things than death.
and it was adult diabetes that got her there. so read up ya'll. it's a shitty way to live.
sorry about your grandma. i have lost one grandparent around thansgiving for the last 3 years. more reason Bush sucks.

granma A hated ole' whistle ass too.

My condolences on the loss of your grandmother. True, she's not suffering now but it's no less of a loss for you.

In the three years, I lost my step-grandmother (who had Alzheimer's) in Sept of 2000, my maternal grandfather (who I loved very much - we are alot alike) on Thanksgiving Day of 2000, my paternal grandfather in July of 2001, and my aunt in November 11th 2002, and a friend of mine who I admired growing up died last week.

What hurts is that my grandfather who died in Thanksgiving was a very special person. I think of him every day, and I cry. We have held so many wonderful memories, and after his wife, my grandmother passed away in 1984, he has shown strength that has given 18 years, the ability to see his great-grandchildren through my sister's nephew prior to his death. My greatest regret was that my grandfather was too ill (suffered health problems, and was not able to travel to New York from Illinois) to come to my wedding, but I knew he was with me in spirit. He had a lot of love for me, and my mom tells me that I am a lot like him, even I'm balding and greying prematurely like I am. He gave me a lot of wonderful memories, that I will cherish forever.

I plan to name my first child after him, as per our Jewish tradition. My sister has her daughter named for him, was born a few months after Papa Joe died, thus her name being Yosepha. He lived a long life, died when he was 86 years old, three weeks before his 87th birthday. Had he lived, he would have been 90 on Dec 12th.

Hawkeye-X

I lost a close friend once when I was very young. I thought that nothing mattered afterward. Nothing could harm me. Nothing could touch me. I went to bars alone and got stinkin' drunk and that didn't help. It wasn't like I felt pain. It was like a felt nothing. One night I was so lost and so drunk I asked my dead friend to help me through this. Somehow that made things a little better. Somehow I found that connection with him again. I was still really sad but I started to feel like there were days ahead of me. Your grandma's voice is still inside you and she still gives some pretty good advice, I'd guess. So just ask her for help. It may sound odd but you've got to find that connection again. Now may not be the time or even next week but you'll find it. It won't seem like some big happy miracle but you'll notice the rain feels wet on your skin again and the wind makes you shiver and bundle up. Take care.

I was really close to my gramma too and when she passed 9 years ago I thought the world was literally going to end. My parents were crazy when I was growing up and so I ended up at her house for half my childhood.
She's the one who taught me to question. She's the one taught me to analyze the editorials. She's the one who taught me to think for myself. She only had a 6th grade education but she is still the smartest person I've ever known. I still miss her and dream about her but I know she's there. It still hurts.

Please try to remember what your grandma gave to you. In the coming years, you'll see more of her wisdom unfold. Let it unfold and see if she was right. There really isn't any rush. We're all going to meet our demise eventually so why rush it along? You're a smart person and you will get past this. It hurts like the devil now but you will survive and you will make your grandma so proud. As simplistic as it sounds, just do your best, live your life with respect for yourself and you won't go wrong. I promise!
I'll be thinking of you!