it's sunday morning -- WHY AREN'T YOU PEOPLE IN CHURCH????

all you do-gooders, progressives, liberals, etc are going to burn in hell. that's what all the good, pasty faced, war-loving, gay bashing, christians say. and they should know, they've already got their by-invitation-only tickets for the rapture.

so you people should be doing something more productive on sunday than posting at DU. get off your asses and get to church. and, i don't mean a catholic or lutheran mass.....those wimps aren't true christians. and forget about episcopalian mass.....those peacenik pu**ies! anything less than a southern baptist service is nothing more than paganism.

I'm currently bored with my present church's worship. I feel like I'm in a worship rut.

So I'm casting about to find new experiences. :-)

:rofl:

i like to sleep late in the morning.

I will be holding ritual tomorrow evening, however!

The priest is impersonal and I don't care for that.
Duckie

I had my son in August and I guess I'm still 'impure' or however its supposed to mean. I'm Orthodox.

So, therefore, I will be leaving an offering of food and drink upon my temple later today.

nt

Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live: "A new poll shows that 66 percent of Americans think George Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq. The other 34 percent think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church."

;)

so I am right where I need to be.

:hi:

lighting of candles, playing of music, and speaking to my passed loved ones. Graduate school has made my Samhain thin, but I get a good Yule celebration from time to time because of the extended holiday (we have celebrated Yule at a abandoned-missile-silo-turned-house with many other pagans....a really invigorating festival).

I was in "church" already today, too. It's called my backyard, enjoying fresh air and positive thinking. :)

you godless liberals are always worried about a clean environment and "fresh air". you probably hug trees too, you satanist! stop worrying about the environment so much....buy an SUV and help support the good people like the oil companies.

positive thinking??? there's no time for that....you should be screaming about how gays are ruining america. be judgemental like a good "christian". you should start by studying the writings of reverend fred phelps....maybe donate some money to his cause.

I talk to God all the time, and no offense, but he never mentioned you." Philipe "the mouse" Gaston, LADYHAWKE

god doesn't talk to tree-hugging liberals! that's what jerry falwell told me.

;)

I don't understand why people who go to church for an hour on Sunday think they're so hardcore. Come to 2.5 hours plus of Shabbat on Saturday morning. Then you can brag :)

All I seemed to hear was conversations from the church-goers around me was how their Saturday night went.

The word from the pulpit was "give money to the church" ...

Not too much was said about love and forgiveness ...

I had some very good beer... I had some very good beer ... that I bought with a fake ID. ... My name was Brian McGee. ...

When they open a church with a complimentary bar, I'll be there. ;)

However - not even a complimentary bar will get me into a church every weekend.

Come join us at the Church of the Neverending Keg.

Where you never have to BYOB, because you have a friend in Jesus.

... except no one mentions religion.
... there are free pretzels and tortilla chips.
... the bathrooms are clean and plentiful; seats always down.
... free internet kiosks.
... a huge television with NO Fox News; and
... exotic male dancers from the rosters of DU. ;)

:)

exotic male dancers from the rosters of DU ...

:thumbsup:

:0)

they told me to open my hymn book and i yelled "FREEBIRD" whilst holding my BIC high in the air

guess they don't like Freebird :shrug:

:P

x(

...hey, I needed some $1s for the strip club.

:rofl:

East Street Band live in new york city cd. That's down right gospel.

after reading all your replies, i have come to the conclusion that you're all hopeless sinners that need to repent.

replace that bong on your mantle with a bust of st. ronald reagan today. scrape those "save the environment" bumper stickers off of your 1982 honda civics you godless tree huggers, and replace them with yellow ribbons that declare your support for war...and make sure you put the yellow ribbon sticker on sideways so it looks like the "christian" fish. burn your voter registration card and go out now and register as a republican. and most importantly, rebuke the evil DU and join freerepublic.com where all the godly christians go to meet and pray. it's your only chance for salvation.

:hi:

I think you hit the nail on the head with the Southern Baptist thing. Where I live (apartment complex in TN), whenever I go somewhere around ten o'clock Sunday morning almost all of my neighbors' cars are already gone! I live near a ginormous Southern Baptist church, so I think it's pretty safe to say that's where they all went. (My neighbors, that is, not just their cars. :P ) Pretty much a ghost town around here on Wednesday evenings, too.

I don't need a freaking church or a freaking day of the week.


Khash.

I drive the speed limit. After I stopped to close the gate that leads to my house, I noticed that the tailgater turned in at the church next door. Church doesn't start for another 2 hours! I don't know why they were in such a hurry.

This is a middle-of-the-road church, and it's "hugh!" Maybe they needed their church fix and they'll stop tailgating until next week.

barbequeing brats, grilling italian sausages, suckin' down a few brewskis.

My goal is to never step foot into a church, unless it's for a wedding or funeral maybe.

people gathering to share their love of their god. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

i almost had some coca-cola come out of my nose while reading that post.

please think about the repercussions of your posts before writing them. replacement keyboards are expensive down here.

appreciates snark :P

...or why it makes me sick. So snark away in your ignorance if you must.

if you step outside of that, the onus of explanation is yours, otherwise you seem like a hateful narrow minded bigot.

with 150 other people and a full orchestra. The Book of Genesis, basically. Great tunes. We were fabulous.

....but everyone else here is hell bound.

Especially those god-awful mega-churches.

how dare you mock the house of god! blasphemer!

i command you to head to your nearest baptist mega-church complex, get down on your knees in front of the wall sized painting of the blue-eyed, anglo jesus with dishwater blond hair and ask for forgiveness.

then head to walmart and buy as much stuff that your family doesn't need as you can fit into the shopping cart.

and don't forget to top off the tank of your SUV on your way to your neighborhood republican prayer group.

jeez, it's hard work trying to save DUers.

Hell, I rather get 1/2 my teeth pulled than go to church...that way, I can go to church the following week looking like everyone else.

But seriously. No church here.

...without any novacaine.

time to repent.

I don't believe in hell.

:)

or baytown, texas.

let me tell you, it's real.

I'm sure it is.

I'll make sure to keep those two places off my travel itinerary.

as usual, we handled live rattlesnakes and drank strychnine. and if you people want to consider yourselves christians, i suggest you do the same.

as soon as i get back from the hospital i'm heading to my "pray for scooter libby" prayer group.

forty years ago.......

I am spiritual.....NOT religious......

For me, God is love. Period.....


:grouphug:

....because you know what pat robertson says about the catholic church.

you're moving in the right direction. now, just get out that checkbook and write a nice $500 check for reverend pat or any one of your other favorite televangelists and sit back and wait for salvation to set in.

:rofl: :rofl:

If you take them at their word (*snort*), heaven is full of snotty, whiny, controlling jerks. Why be up there with the Hitlers, Bushes, Falwells, and serial killers repenting before the switch is flipped, when I can be in hell with the good people?

Heaven can't be heaven, if that's where the fundies go.

....you probably also think the world is round.

go back and read the old testament and take every word literally. don't worry so much about the new testament...it's not necessary to read that to be a good "christian".

start rebuking science and donate heavily to the republican party and you'll be well on your way to salvation.

:)

I guess that the part of fundie religion (any fundamentalist religion) that I don't get how a perfect God needs so much reassurance. What does it matter whether people praise God, if they're out killing people and exploiting others?

:shrug:

The fundies attack "moral relativism" on the grounds that anything goes, when it's really the opposite that's true. You can do anything and then be forgiven later. You can ignore suffering and say it's God's will.

:eyes:

very good. you'll make a good "christian" some day.

The few times I've actually set foot in a church (mostly for weddings) I've always gotten a serious case of the creeps.

is that a bad thing?

:silly:

It's your own church detection alarm kicking in. Heed its call.

BTW, do you leave the smell of sulphur? ;)

;)

:silly:

Good music, place to nap, and snacks afterward man . Church is a great place to be. Than they passed him the collection plate and he took five bucks out :)

It takes a while.

:+

....where people talk about peace and love and other evil things.

nothing less than a good southern baptist service will be acceptable. you need to have a silver-haired, caddy-driving preacher get up to that podium and preach about the evils of gays, abortionists, and liberals and hammer home the importance of good "christian" values like money, the republican party, and killing those eye-rackees.

Not our religious day. I'll probably meditate for inner harmony later and give in to wu wei (non-doing) and laugh at the fundies railing against my well-ordered peace with the universe.

most churches to be.

and jesus (as one of my good, rush-limbaugh-listening, republican coworkers once told me) is a compassionate conservative.

And yes, I was there, "fake" Christian that I am. ;)

....you silly lutherans all need to defect and start following jerry falwell.


oh, and "mass" or "service"....what's the difference what you call it? if there isn't some pudgy, self righteous white guy up there pointing his finger at liberals, gays, and single mothers, damning them all to hell for eternity while simultaneously praising george bush and his christian war, then you basically wasted an hour of your time today.

We had a slender young woman discussing the reformation.

Yes that was us with the Peace signs outside of The Baltimore Episcopal Cathedral, Cathedral of the Incarnation, with the big sign "Pray for Peace" Jesus was a peacenik...

to help with their Thanksgiving dinner they provide for the homeless. Does that make up for not being in church since the last time when I sang at a funeral?

...poor and homeless by choice. ilde hands are the devil's workshop.

your money would be much better spent by the reverend jerry falwell or pat robertson. i hear reverend robertson has some expensive repairs and upgrades needed on his private jet plane and money doesn't grow on trees, you know. or, just think of how many more dieboldt electronic voting machines could be purchased if do-gooders like you would stop enabling poor people and start sending that money to the republican party.

Probably going to be a continuing trend for me.

Tinkerbell??? If not, no thanks...one in the same.

my skin burns. Prolonged exposure makes my skin start on fire.

last night sacrificng the goat. :evilgrin:

last night sacrificng the goat. :evilgrin:

The priest this weekend had another top notch sermon about the lack of humility in this world at all levels.

Since I am not Southern Baptist I will burn in hell anyways.

Of course, according to South Park the only true religion is Mormonism.

Not that I'm interested in going anyway.

For refusing to drink the political kool aid. So I know how ya feel kinda. Hugs and peace too you Buffy. :)

Churches should not be tax exempt.