Bitch.

by Merideth Brooks

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel
underneath
innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one

Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your health, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today won't mean a thing

Chorus

Just when you think you've got me figured out
the season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
and don't try to save me

Chorus

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
when you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

I can...um...relate to it.

Be as specific as possible.

Let me get comfortable...

Perhaps I should demonstrate...

Can't wait! Can't wait!

I didn't see anything offensive in your post.

Damn.

I left it up for probably about 15 minutes, then thought better of it and self-deleted. O8) I thought it was rather amusing, though admittedly in poor taste. :D

I didn't see any poor taste in it. You can't upset, offend or otherwise besmirch your wonderfulness with me.

...well then all I can say is you weren't using that testosterone saturated imagination of yours! :eyes:


It was actually, pretty... um, graphic. :blush:

and let me have another look see...

But... okay. I don't want my creativity and warped sense of humor to go to waste. I still have the draft. I'll PM it later, it's on my home computer. I'll even spell it out for you:

It's a short but steamy seduction scene acted out entirely by smilies. You will have to use your imagination. Look at each smilie or group of smilies in sequence, and ask yourself, "I know what their general meaning is, but what else could they possibly be doing given the context?" With the exception of the first smilie, who is simply there to set the scene, and the last two smilies, who are cast in their original smilie roles.

:hi:

I'm kidding, by the way. :) ;)

Not easy, but it can be done.

:rofl:

First of all, cute picture.

Second...your sig..."President of the sjbech fan club"

I wasn't aware there was a fan club.

1. How do I join?
2. Can I be VP? Head of Security (I'd really dig throwing myself on her to keep her from getting harmed)?

:hi:




















:rofl: Just kidding. ;)

help, er, protect other veggies. Yes, that's it.

Is there a Flirters Anonymous out there, anywhere? I need help.

The lounge is Flirters Annonymous, hon.

My name is flvegan, and I'm a flirtaholic.

I should make this it's own thread.

I enable your flirting habit. Should I go to flirtanon?

All the cool lounge lizards are doing it.

You want to be cool, dontcha?

Sigh. Take me.

You come visit and we'll go anyplace you want.

If I come visit, I think you know "where" I'm going...

HINT: It's a direction.

:blush:

And I intend to stay there like a deadbeat relative with a broken timing belt.

Seriously, Hallmark should call me.

Just as soon as they launch thier Perverted Greetings for Horny Vegans line. I'd wait by the phone if I was you.

:shrug:

I'm gonna be working for Hallmark.

High five!

:party:

Look here!

:P

but I'm :rofl:

best and biggest laugh I've had all day.

Whoo!

Ahem...which room is it (and do we have the "rockstar" insurance?)?

last time he was trying to mount the swing and drilled right through the ceiling into somebody's foot. :hide:

Swings are for kids.

There's also the whole "Italian dressing does indeed stain" coverage we need.

Whaatever it is these days, hell yes it stains, which as I said before is why I'm putting my beloved Star Trek sheets up when you finally get to visit.

phasers to "come"

Go ahead...lock/delete the post. I had to say it. I'm bad. I should be detentioned.

I can put you on a waiting list....

It's a very long list. You might want to consider other options.

Sorry, man. Ya missed it by that much.

Point: Please consider that Ms. Bech is a very tiny woman/nymph/goddess. When throwing oneself, please try not to sqush her.

Consider yourself on notice. I intend to initiate a hostile takeover of the sjbech fan club. My grassroots campaign will begin in our very own tofu ghetto.

She need not worry about my squishing nor squashing her. My role is to protect and deliver from danger. Then, when out of harm's way, provide full body massage, shirtless, whilst feeding grapes and strawberries.

I didn't think you'd be interested in being a Eunuch. Ms. Bech will be thrilled. She's needing the increased security what with her newfound celebrity.

I'm afraid The SJBech fan club is a privately owned concern, and is therfore not subject to a hostile takeover.

...but if you've the stomach for the battle, then by all means let the games begin. But be forewarned, Ms. Bech and Chaska have a very special bond based on a one-sided but undying and, well, sick sort of devotion/admiration/worship and an equally one-sided near total indifference.

And the word's "sqush", like crush only cuter.

I was wondering why your voice was up an octave ot three....

(or am I jumipng to conclusions ??)

:evilgrin:

Thank you. I hope my voice returns to normal within the next 24-48 hours.

Why don't folks get the whole "gentle on the grapes" thing, eh?

As a privately owned concern, I'll not get involved. Instead, I'll take love and adoration for sjbech global. That's right, I'm talking www.sjbech.com, .net, .org. I'll issue preferred stock in sjbech enterprises, inc. sjbech World Enterprises is only one more step away.

I'll make one last offer. Join me as a partner in the global sjbech takeover. We also have a special bond based on a one-sided but undying and, well, sich sort of devotion/admiration/worship. We also, sadly, have the same one-sided near total indifference. It should unite us.

With sjbech's many attributes, complete global domination is almost a given. Together, we can make it happen.

What say you?

You're proposing making her the next LaToya Jackson.

Hmm....

Naw. Don't do boy/girl/boy threesomes. (I just lost, didn't I?)

no. Friend, you and I couldn't make her into the next LaToya if I was Hef and you were Michael. Class is more than skin deep.

As for threesomes, (LOCKING!) admit it, for that chance, with Ms. sjbech, you'd, um...bend your own rules.

That said, as two individuals either vying for, or working towards, a perfect sjbech World, we should be keeping her pristine reputation at the top of our agenda.

What we need...is a summit. We could call it sjbechapalooza. I love it!

Especially the sugary sweet Michigan varities.

Let's have a coordinated effort that takes people by surprise. Model it on the marketing scheme of Paris Hilton, sans the skank and STDs.

I'll sit (or stand or lay down)for the appropriate photos, and will generally make myself more available to the public...visiting random Starbucks, slinking into the new "it" stores. I entrust you two fine gentlemen to take care of the rest.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Photos??? I'll handle those (I don't believe I have any of the "laying down" variety at this time - please pass those on, post haste).

As for fivegan he'll have his hands full with getting Eunuch-afied. I have a very good doctor for such things. He should recover - physically - in a matter of weeks. He may, however, feel an overwhelming desire to take up knitting and bird watching. In any case, I need never fear his despoiling my goddess. And that's my only concern here.

Please forward those photos asap! ...My goddess.

Yours (though often in error, and deserving of MUCH punishment),

chaska

A kiss for my adoring fans...

I am blessed by the power of The Steph. :loveya:

My, but I feel light-headed. I must sit now. :crazy:

I'm so glad that picture will suffice. :)

:headbang:

sing along with that song whenever you hear it on the radio?
As loudly as possible? :evilgrin:

As charged.


And in no way remorseful. :evilgrin:

you know better than that!

:spank:

But they were commenting on my ass.

Just when you start to think you're invisible. :eyes: