a kinder, gentler OVER 50 & TECHNOLOGY thread (attn nini)

actually this was a response i was writing to nini in another message which is now locked.
it figures, one of the rare times i actually feel like saying something and the thread gets locked. :shrug:

that other thread was SOOOOO mean... ;) i mean... only 7 years before i become a lame-o??? i hope not!

so here it is, maybe we can carry on by saying some complimentary things about the over-50 crowd.

------------response to nini:::::::::::

a couple weeks ago we were talking extreme frugalness and now this! but I think the 2 things are related.

You're describing MY mother. She's a genius when it comes to some things, but technology? Yes, she's afraid she's going to break something! -and then it would cost $ to fix or replace which is where the frugalness comes in.
My mother WANTED to learn how to use her computer and so she did (with help) and she is really good about USING IT. She emails and uses browsers to learn things, research things, check stocks, etc. And, she cooperates well when she is talked thru something. But, she thinks there are actually humans that send her error messages and stuff. She'll say, "they tell me i need to..." and we say, "who? who tells you?" before we realize she's talking about *the computer people inside her computer* ;) Anyway, she can (sorta) use a scanner and a printer and a remote but can't or won't program a VCR or even use hers. I think part of that is that the first one she had wasn't intuitive or user-friendly so now they intimidate her. By far, the biggest obstacle is what you said, just a fear of breaking something if she does something wrong. She HAS come a long way but recently disappointed me when she just COULDN"T figure out her automatic windows in her new car.

"what do you do to make the window go up????"
"pull the button up, mom."
*what do you do to make the window go down???"
"mom, i refuse to tell you... i know you'll figure it out" {that's my tough-love}

but then she couldn't figure out the door locks either and i realized she just couldn't SEE the icon (or any of the small icons) to figure out what the button was for. Once I explained what the icon was, she could remember *that's a key and it locks the doors*.

She's kinda pathetic with her cell phone but at least she can make a call and answer the phone which is good. Basically, it's just for emergencies anyway... but I have to tell her all the time, "you're not going to break it! don't worry!" Now if I could only get her to just leave it on and plug it in at night.... you know, she has to conserve the battery...

Next week, she'll be 81 too, like your mom. Actually, most of the time I'm amazed at the advances she stays up with. She's doing pretty well, and I can't believe she's not still in her 60's. Going strong! Yay mom!

Yep... our mom's are awesome. Cautious but not afraid to jump in and try. My mom has to understand why she is doing something.. so just telling her 'hit that button' won't allow her to know why and she won't remember it next time.


I can't imagine trying to learn all this new stuff after 70 years or so and good for them for trying.

thanks for the message!!

nini

i'm a mix of intimidated and motivated when it comes to technology.

i'm grateful for intuitive and user-friendly electronics (not all are but i think things are getting much better on that front, and i'm also getting better at understanding). i like when i can just sit down with something and figure it out by playing with it.
i find that some manuals are easy to understand and some really suck.
i find that some people are much better at explaining things the way i need to have them explained too.

basically i feel like, if anyone else can do this, i can too. i hope i don't ever lose that feeling!

the people that write them know the product so well they don't get detailed enough in them.


The design of the technology too is crucial. There are so many aspects of user friendly products that it's amazing that more people are thoroughly confused.

My bad. I hope I didn't piss anyone off too badly. I guess the mods found it a little inflamatory. :shrug: Oh well.

Your post sounds a lot like my mother, except she CAN see everything just fine, she HAS operated something very similar in the past, and she is NOT afraid of breaking it because she threw the remote once in frustration (lol). She's just not willing.

But like I said, I'm cordial to her every time. I help her out when she asks for it. I don't get snarky with her. But it does get me a little irked (obviously) that she won't just LEARN it and remember it like she does to all the other detail oriented things she does on a regular basis. I just don't get it.

Maybe I COULD get it, but I'm just not willing to let myself get it...............???

was an untrue and unfair generalization of people over 50.
ranting about your parents is one thing, but generalizing is just a good way to piss people off.

watching children, teens, young adults who were born into computers, controls, electronic things... they are just comfortable with it all, like a language or something. And, some older adults (40s, 50s, and beyond) are quite comfortable as well. I'm 43 and am not comfortable with new technology/electronics right away. It takes me a while to get comfortable with things but if I want to, I know I am capable of learning how to use anything (but non-user-friendly things really make me mad). Everyone's different. Some people are just totally intimidated by new electronics, and that's all there is too it!

:hi:

BELIEVE me I understand.. my dad used to make me nuts with the universal remote thing. Then one day he asked me how a fax machine worked and I couldn't believe he was wanting to know that much detail on that if the remote was beyond him. He just couldn't grasp how the transmission of data worked - ha. He was thinking at least.

Personally, I think in his last months his problems with his remote was more of an excuse to get me over there and spend time with him. That may be why he had the mental block without even realizing it. Do you think that may be part of it?

Regardless, it sounds like you're good to your parents and you were wise to vent here and not at them, but you may never 'get it' as you say :-) It's just how they are.