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Damn I'm on a roll tonight!!

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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:01 AM
Original message
Damn I'm on a roll tonight!!
This lady went to the doctor,so she said to the doc,"Doctor, every time I eat a sandwich with mayonaise, I break out in a terrible rash!" The doctor said," Hmmm, I dont handle these kind of things, but Im gonna send you to a place that specializes in this sort of thing!’ The lady replied,"You mean, theres a place that handles cases like this??" The doctor said," Of course there is! Havent you ever heard of the mayo clinic??"
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:06 AM
Response to Original message
1. What do you call a man with no shins?
Tony .......

Think about it! I'm on a roll!
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I guess my brain isn't working, my dear Crazy.......
I do NOT get it......:shrug:
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Toe- Knee. Get it? Get it? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:14 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. ACK! I certainly do get it now.........
Ohmyfuckingod........no shins.....Crazy...you slay me!


:rofl:
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Haha, clever
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
6. I went to the grocery store and bought some .....
eggs, some milk and some bread, and also a henway.
What’s a henway, you ask?
Oh, about three or four pounds.


:rofl: :spray: :popcorn:
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Fox Mulder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:15 AM
Response to Original message
7. I have a good one for you, CG...
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

:rofl:
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:17 AM
Response to Original message
8. What kind of ice cream do they eat in the "Matrix"?
Neo-politan

:rofl:
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
9. I had a dream last night that i was eating a giant marshmallow .
I woke up my pillow was gone.

:rofl:
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mykpart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
10. A woman goes to her doctor and asks
if it's OK for her and her husband to have anal sex. The doctor says, sure, but be careful not to get pregnant.
"You can get pregnant from anal sex?" she asked.
"Of course," replied the doctor. "Where do you think lawyers come from?"
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. Too much! Too much!
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drhilarius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:21 AM
Response to Original message
12. I woke up this morning and shot and elephant in my pajamas...
how he got in there I'll never know.
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:24 AM
Response to Original message
13. This lady had a broken tv set, so she called the TV repairman.
So he came over and looked at the set, and said,"Bad news,ma’am....your tv needs a blood transfusion!" The lady was bewildered !! She said," Wait a minute,.....how can a TV need a blood transfusion?" The repairman said,"well,you see here ma’am.....this is one of those new plasma TV’s!!"
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GrpCaptMandrake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 02:54 AM
Response to Reply #13
22. Hey, wait!
Isn't that lady supposed to be blonde?
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 02:56 AM
Response to Reply #22
23. LOL.
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:26 AM
Response to Original message
14. Crazy, you should be on a roll
with mustard and onion because you, sir, are a hot dog.














Tony. No shins. Sheesh.:puke:
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:29 AM
Response to Reply #14
17. Mind if I use it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
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mykpart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
15. There was a butcher who always cheated a
customer he had who was from India. He would put his hand on the scale when he weighed the Indian's meat. One day the Indian came in when the butcher was training a new assistant. When the assistant got ready to ring up the Indian guy's purchase, the butcher pulled him aside and said, "Weigh down upon the Swami's liver!"
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:28 AM
Response to Reply #15
16. LOL.
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Fox Mulder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:30 AM
Response to Reply #15
18. I don't get it...
of course, I've been out of it all day...
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 12:33 AM
Response to Reply #15
19. Did you hear the one about the butcher
that accidentally backed up into the meat grinder?





He got a little behind in his work. Badda-bum.:silly:
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WHAT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 02:37 AM
Response to Original message
20. Well. I went to the Mayo clinic, once...
for treatment

I was housed in an apartment kitty-corner from the emergency entrance.

One day after treatment at the clinic I was headed to my apartment when I was almost run-over by an ambulance...it came screeching around the corner and the left side panel popped open and a plastic tupper-ware type of medical box fell out. I opened the box as the ambulance was pulling into the emergency entrance no more than 20 feet ahead. The container felt cold, there was a visible puff of cold air when I opened the container, inside was a severed toe.

I hurried home and called a toe truck.

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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 02:38 AM
Response to Reply #20
21. BA DA BING!
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
24. I gotta million of 'em.
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 09:37 PM
Response to Original message
25. Henny Youngman, you ain't.
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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-10-05 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #25
26. He's got nothin' on me.
A belch saves wear and tear on your underwear.
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