Proof tin-foil hats do not work

http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/



Quoting this research paper from MIT:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

Besides, where's the peer review? Without the peer review, these Doubting Tinfoil Thomases might as well be preaching Intelligent Design.

Also, fuck MIT.

And, finally, I will respond with the most logical argument of all: Oh yeah? That's what THEY want you to think. Me? I'm leaving my tinfoil on, thank you very much.

:beer: I will now return to my regularly scheduled evening of beer and irrational paranoia.

It should be purified water and grain alcohol only.

Gotta preserve those precious bodily fluids, you know.

I've issued these demands before, damnit:

1. Lower the price of all alcholic beverages.
2. Mixed drinks that involve either fruit or other drinks that taste like fruit should be immediately confiscated and destroyed.
3. Make moonshine legal again, just like it was in 1750.
4. Ensure that more artificial-cheese based snack foods are available at liquor stores nationwide.
5. Lift the restraining order that bars me from entering the state of Arkansas again. I have unfinished business in Mountain Home, the bastards.

Until then, I'm neither removing the tin-foil hat nor leaving my house (unless it's to get more beer).

Whew!

I should have better hair days now ...