New Orleans is saved! Levees to be rebulit using Roman Candy.

KamaAina

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Wed Nov-16-05 07:59 PM
Original message

New Orleans is saved! Levees to be rebulit using Roman Candy.

Best. Satire. Ever.

For the not-yet-initiated, Roman Candy is a taffy-like treat sold from a mule-drawn cart often seen along St. Charles...

http://nycnolahelp.org/creoletomato/

"The levees need to be repaired," said Lt. Gen. Strock. "Sand bags, stone pilings, and other reinforcements have all failed in trying to patch the breaches.

"And since the United States doesn't have the multi-billion dollar budgets of other countries, Roman Candy seems like the best way to go."

Initial tests to levee models seemed ineffective, but once Corps engineers removed the rolled wax paper surrounding the dense treat, they started to see results....

"I was thinking we should just get a bigger wad of chewing gum, but then Bob suggested we use Roman Candy. That guy is a genius."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Much, much more post-K N'Awlins satire there as well. This, remember, is the city that shaped my own dark, twisted sense of humor, as well as giving birth to Mr. Bill!

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etch a sketch prez

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Wed Nov-16-05 09:12 PM
Response to Original message

1. Please tell me this is ALL satire.

I loved Benny Grunch and the Bunch! One of the few holiday joys for me was watching WWL Channel 4 broadcast one of their videos at the end of their Christmas eve 6PM news broadcast. I want the crawfish they caught in Arabi, dammit!

By the way, this is fucking hilarious!

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KamaAina

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Wed Nov-16-05 09:23 PM
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2. Sit down. Take a deep breath. Repeat after me: It's satire.

Don't listen to me; after all, I haven't lived in N.O. for fourteen years! Take it from Benny himself:

http://www.bennygrunch.com/

Hey, where ya'll at? Are you back yet? Are you coming back? Had you moved away a long time ago, but now with all the national news; ya' wanna come back. (This describes my situation exactly. -Ed.) The most common greetings here lately seem to be: "How'd ya'll make out?" or "How'd ya'll do?" or "Didja'll get water?" or "Didja'll live (unfortunate past tense) in St. Bernard?" Good Lawd! Who woulda' thought what 2005 has brought! All of my most sincere Christmas wishes to all Yats everywhere and here at home.

Here's what I got fa'all ya'll this Christmas season: "The 12 Yats Of Christmas" CD is out again with two new songs about what we have all been through recently: "Temporarily Aint't Dere No More" is a tale of 2 cities about Lakeview & St.. Bernard. There was just not enough room in a song to include everything so I stuck with what I know. I know lots about Lakeview. And, I know lots of friends from St. Bernard. The lyrics go by really fast. They have to in order to fit it all in. Listen up once or twice and you'll get it all. "Over By You Mama'n Nem" is slow. It's a bit sad. Well, it is sad. It's all about that you can't go "Over By Your Mama'n Nem". It's very current, but sounds like you've heard it a million times before (because of the over by your mama'n nem phrase). It's also great for kids my age who remember New Orleans as it was a while back.

Also I got brand new "Ain't Dere No More" tee shirts and brand new "12 Yats Of Christmas" tee shirts; on accounta' I know ya'll don't want the ones that were dunked and sunk till they stunk that I got right now. And, there's a possibility of "Temporarily Ain't Dere No More" tee shirts."

Looka', we gonna' be aw'rite." Just remember, we're the only people on earth who can joke about living and partying in an honest-ta'Gawd, fa'real fish bowl.

Does this sound to you like someone who's disbanded his group?

Judging by the paucity of replies, there's not as much N.O. consciousness here in De Lounge as I might have hoped :(

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etch a sketch prez

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Wed Nov-16-05 09:47 PM
Response to Reply #2

3. Huzzah!

Well, I just got punked by a satirical story. I think grad school is killing all my brain cells. Now I know how O'Reilly felt when he read a joke email from "Jack Mehoffer" on his show. Oy, I feel so dirty after that realization.

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