At what age is it no longer acceptable to masturbate?

:shrug:

My answer is ~ you're never too old.

I demand to see a copy of the contract! This is entirely unacceptable!

Never??? :P

:shrug:

:rofl:

:spray:

and you get a cough and a wheeze, and a little puff of dust.

you're dead it stains the coffin forever.

sort of:

Clarence Carter - Strokin'

Strokin'

When I start makin´ love
I don´t just make love...
I be strokin´
That´s what I be doin´, huh
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best
I be strokin´

Let me ask you somethin´...
What time of the day do you like to make love
Have you ever made love just before breakfast
Have you ever made love while you watched the late, late show
Well, let me ask you this
Have you ever made love on a couch
Well, let me ask you this
Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car
I remember one time I made love on the back seat of a car
And the police came and shined his light on me, and I said:
´I´m strokin´, that´s what I´m doin´, I be strokin´´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best
I be strokin´

Let me ask you something...
How long has it been since you made love, huh?
Did you make love yesterday
Did you make love last week
Did you make love last year
Or maybe it might be that you plannin´ on makin´ love tonight
But just remember, when you start making love
You make it hard, long, soft, short
And be strokin´
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best, huh
I be strokin´

Now when I start making love to my woman
I don´t stop until I know she´s sas-ified
And I can always tell when she gets sas-ified
´Cause when she gets sas-fied she start calling my name
She´d say: ´Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter
Clarence Carter, ooooh shit, Clarence Carter´
The other night I was strokin´ my woman
And it got so good to her, you know what she told me
Let me tell you what she told me, she said:
´Stroke it Clarence Carter, but don´t stroke so fast
If my stuff ain´t tight enough, you can stick it up my...´ WOO!

I be strokin´ Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best, huh
I be strokin´
I be strokin´ Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I be strokin´, Yeah!
I be strokin´

I stroke it to the north
I stroke it to the south
I stroke it everywhere
I even stroke it with my... WOO!

I be strokin´
I be strokin´ Ha! Ha!
I be strokin´

She´d say: ´Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter
Clarence Carter, ooooh shit, Clarence Carter´

:rofl: Those lyrics just KILL me!!

you turn 190 years of age.

:)