A sad story about a childhood friend...

I just got an email from my Dad about a kid I grew up with. He lived two doors down and was a couple years younger than me. Nice kid, we all hung out a lot.

He's had a lifelong problem with drug abuse, being in and out of jails and rehab. He died of an overdose this week. His name was Donnie, and he was a really sweet kid. He was probably in his mid-30's when he died.

What a fucking waste. His parents were the nicest people. He had a great family, a nice upbringing, a loving brother and sister.

There but for the grace of destiny go I. I did way too much experimenting with dangerous drugs in my younger days. I got away from it, but alas, Donnie never did.

Evidently he was in rehab when he died. I suspect it was a suicide - he was terribly depressed.

There's no point to this, other than to encourage any young people here to avoid hard drugs. I smoke pot and occasionally do minor hallucinogenics. But I gave up heroin, meth and crack many years ago. I was lucky. Donnie wasn't.

Kids.... young adults... older folk.... stay away from the hard stuff. It really DOES kill.

It is horrid to see what happens when a person becomes so entwined in an addiction. My heart goes out to you..

:hug: Laura

on a similar note, and I'm sorry to bring up bad memories, but did you ever learn what happened with your daughter's friend?

I find teen suicides to be the saddest. Unfortunately, so many of them are brought about by homosexuality, and the kids feel they're so alone and can find no commonality with the rest of humanity.

I'm not presuming that was the cause, but I have wondered about your daughter's friend. Please feel free to tell me to mind my own business, or PM me with info if you don't want to share it. But I still think about that poor girl and her family, as well as you and your family.

I know it could have been me given my history. If it helps please know stories like his help keep people like me sober one day at a time.

This is so sad to hear. He reminds me of a nice kid who grew up on my street, got addicted and went to rehab three or four times. Finally, he knew he was going to be arrested for cocaine possession and he killed himself. I was in high school then - he was a few years older. So sad, such a tragic waste.

:grouphug: to you, Dookus tonight. Hard thing to deal with, I know.

:cry:

I don't need the condolences. I haven't seen him in well over 20 years.

My heart breaks for his family, and for him. He was a happy, funny kid whose life took a horrible turn. I've had my own problems with drug abuse and depression, and I, too, was a happy, funny kid.

It just breaks my heart that life is SO fucking hard for some people. I've been through the depair myself, but managed to stay alive, despite some close calls.

I don't know what the answer is. Or if there even IS an answer. I'm reminded of the Macy Gray the Letter:

"The Letter"

All I ever wanted was some love and peace and harmony
I could dance in the raw in the sun underneath the stars
When I walk over to my money tree ain't nobody there
Trying to take from me
When they ask "Are you truly free?" I'd say "Yes, truly"
But down here in really everybody knows there ain't
No such thing
And It's clear
It's obviously this is not the place I'm supposed to be
On and on and on I've searched
What I'm looking for is not here on earth
I can't stand I can't take no more
So I know that I goota go
So long everybody
Mama don't be sad for me
Life was a heartache and now I am finally free
Don't know where I'm headed
Hope I see you someday soon
So long everybody
I have gone beyond the moon

All I ever wanted was some love and peace and harmony
Just to be live and shine
When I get ready I up and fly
And I can't remember none of the things that I want
To forget
It's the best - satisfaction no less
Ask if I'm free and I'll say "Oh yes"
But down here in really everybody knows there ain't
No such thing
And It's clear
It's obviously this is not the place I'm supposed to be
On and on and on I've searched
What I'm looking for is not here on earth
I can't stand I can't take no more
So I know that I goota go
So long everybody
Mama don't be sad for me
Life was a heartache and now I am finally free
Don't know where I'm headed
Hope I see you someday soon
So long everybody

I'm so sorry. I know you haven't seen him in a long time but I do understand. It's the pain of what was and could have been. I've also been down that lonely road of horrifying depression and suicidal thoughts and actions since I can remember. When someone you know or knew actually does it, the memories & current nightmares become more real. You think, well, guess I can do it too. I have to stay alive even though I don't want to many days. There are too many people who would be devastated even though if they could crawl into my head & live with what my mind creates, they'd off themselves within a week. Not feeling sorry for myself. Just telling the fucking truth.
Thanks for posting that Macy Gray song lyrics. It helps to feel not so alone.

Maybe he really is in a better place.

check your PM's

I am so very sorry to hear the news about your friend. Too many good people become victims of addiction.

Sorry about your friend. It's hard to see people fail like that..and really lose. Condolences.

As I said, the condolences aren't for me. He wasn't a close friend... he was someone I knew in my past.

But the story itself is heartbreaking. It really raises the question of whether some percentage of us simply aren't fit for this life. I know it sounds horrible, but I've known a fair number of suicides. A few were assholes with little connection to society, but the majority were decent, sensitive people... probably TOO sensitive... who just never found a way to "fit in" with society.

I think the greatest pain a human can suffer is to feel entirely apart from other people. Alas, way too many people feel that because we can't talk about it. Gay teens feel it. Disabled kids feel it. Ugly kids feel it. Fat kids, kids with acne, kids with late puberty, kids with a thousand other problems..... SENSITIVE kids.

I was a sensitive kid. So was Donnie. So was my friend Emily who killed herself 4 years ago. So was my friend Tommy to died 20 years ago.

Is there any answer? Some of us feel pain in a way that others seem to bypass. I've pretty much made the decision to hang in for the duration, but what the fuck can we say to somebody in horrible pain who doesn't want to suffer anymore? I don't have an answer.

Your message is a good one.

If, somehow, this puritanical and judgemental society ever "gets it" that addition is a mental and physical health problem and that no one deserves to be left to die like a dog in their addictons, then maybe, just maybe we might make a turn.

Our nation is addicted to nationalism, status, materialism and to violence. We all need recovery.

I'm sorry you lost an old friend, Dookus.