Family Exchange...in light of Thanksgiving Horror stories....

I've got an angry mom, who holds me responsible for my father leaving her after 40 years of marriage, a mother in law who covets her son...my husband, and is constantly trying to get him to prove who he "loves more" (up to and including asking him, a father of two to stay with her while she recuperated from knee surgery :eyes) and a grandma who thinks she is dying (even though the doctor continuously gives her a clean bill of heatlth). What you got to trade me? Any or all, depending on the circumstances....



***Disclaimer-this thread is meant as an "all in good fun" way to vent about what may or may not have been a stressful weekend for us all. :hi:

in favor of the 37-year-old almost-divorcee girlfriend with the three kids. He does not respond to dinner invitations from his family, which is annoying us mightily.

OTOH, the rest of the family...especially the 5-year-old triplets....I would not trade for anything. Sounds like I have got the better deal even with the damn nephew. We are not pleased with him. At the least he could make a phone call to say he is otherwise engaged.

for the nephew and I'll lecture him so much, that he should be back, reformed by Dec 15th. :shrug: :hi:

who is 93 and stone deaf.

Good luck with the nephew and thanks. Even my sister doesn't lecture him. Or diss him. It is the triplets' mother from whom I get all the dish.

:evilgrin:

passed. On the plus side for your mom, she won't have to hear all the bitching and moaning...;) But, she has her good points. The triplets' mom sounds awesome. :hi:

the attention that she demands.

The triplets' mother is awesome...she has a PhD in English and is planning to return to teaching college next year when the trio starts kindergarten (their October 28 birthday prevented them from starting this year). And she is really looking forward to returning to the classroom.

:hi:

A sister in law whose husband is "gone...." but, she is meeting her old girlfriend again....ummmm..no, wait...THEIR old girlfriend.

A mother in law who has been waiting for her son to divorce me and call his beloved old girlfriend--and who is running out of patience apparently.

A sister in law who wants to play group games at the dinner table.

My own sister who wants to get together and cast wiccan spells...and who wants me to move back to Charlotte preferably without the husband who she likes, but takes attention away from her.

My own mother who thinks my husband is perfect, and lowered himself to marry me, and I better keep my mouth shut or I will lose him.

A father in law, and father...who hear all this shit and just start talking about books, movies, or their computers....Lala Land is wayyyy more pleasant!

A brother in law who gave up his own personality to join a cult....

That's just the beginning.

as my mother only speaks to my husband (her beloved son in law) when she's over now....hmmmm....I guess I'll take your sister for a spell, only if you take my sister in law, who wasn't included because she wasn't there, but who is a real "piece of work" who enjoys telling "juvenile delinquent" stories (all made up in her own head) about my straight A daughter. :hi:

With a family like that, who'd want to tune in?

Besides, if you're talking about books, movies, or computers ("these are a few of my favorite things..."), you're not immolating yourself in the wonderful world of cults, low self esteem, judgemental parents, jealous Wiccan sisters, bizarre sisters-in-law, obsessive mothers-in-law, and other strange in-laws.

Shit, after that list, why would you WANT to talk about anything other than books or movies? Maybe in your situation, LaLaLand IS the reasonable response.

Very spoiled, this younger sister comes with a convertible Mercedes (and lengthy maintainace records) and a wardrobe to shame Barbie. She would like a Ducati for Christmas and will make you miserable if she doesn't get it, so keep that expense in mind when you bid, along with the rising cost of tuition.

(at 15 :eyes:) and an MP3 player and a laptop. Even though I only just got my first lap top...I'd consider it an even trade and call it a day. :hi:

But suffice it to say holidays generally suck at my house.

I actually managed to make it through Thanksgiving without taking a swing at my sister, so I consider it a success. :thumbsup:

for her...or my meeker, holier than thou sister in law...your choice. :hug: Sorry it's been so crappy.

Big, fat,loud-mouthy, self-centered, unwashed-stanky-body-odor,sit-on-your-ass-and-expect-everyone-to-wait-on-you, floor-pissing-dog toting, drag-your-puking-child-to-the-relatives, Sister in Law. Any takers? *crickets* Anyone at all?

We've HEARD about your sister-in-law here.

fsc

Well I just hope you found Jesus. Because if you haven't found him, my sis will help you look for him whether you want to or not. :P

(Apparently he's found in the DSW shoe store...she's always in there)

Jesus likes shoes? I pictured him as more a "sandal" kinda guy.

Getting a pair of Birkenstocks.

:yoiks:

Dressed in too-tight pants over which that little roll of fat peeks out under the too-short top. Nattering nonstop about clothes, celebrities, my college roommate is RUINING MY LIFE, Josh Groban is SO CUTE, yakyakyak, it was like being trapped in a cage full of magpies. The most superficial kids I've ever met. I didn't want to piss off my tight-ass SIL, but I just wanted to scream, "Don't you twits ever read the goddamn newspapers?" If the rest of the Youth of America are like this, we are doomed.

I'm not but I know nothing about guns (I'm afraid of shooting my foot off).

So I show up at T-day dinner and her mom shows me a picture of her bother with his two deer he killed this year.

I hear from across the room my girlfriend saying "I thought we agreed--no politics and no hunting!!!"

Not a horror story because T-day was quite nice and very tasty.