Urban "Rednecks"

OK....so I was talking to a friend of mine who works in tech support, and he was trying to convince me he was a redneck. I asked, for the love of God, why do you think you're a redneck?

"Well I drive a truck, I'm a traditional kind of guy and I like country music..."

Excuse me? Driving a truck does not a redneck make...

Look I'll put it to you simply...

If the paint job on your truck is as shiny as the day you bought it...you might not be a redneck

If you can order coffee in more than one way...you might not be a redneck

If the house you own looks just like the house next to it...you might not be a redneck

If you drive an "urban assault vehicle" in any other capacity other than urban assault...you might not be a redneck

If the work you do does not involve John Deere in any other way than running their mail servers...you might not be a redneck

You, my friend, are a yuppie. Admit it. I have, and I'm a better person for having done so...

If you have enough money to live anywhere in the Bay area, you might not be a redneck.

In some cities (Baltimore comes to mind), there are entire neighborhoods of people who emigrated from rural areas searching for work, with folks all from the same town or county living in the same urban neighborhood or housing complex. It's quite similar to foreign immigrants: One relatives finds a job and a place to live, and then their cousins will move over and find an apartment in the same building, and so on and so on. It can make for some interesting cultural situations: A friend from college was from such a family, and one of his uncles got in trouble for deciding to go squirrel hunting in a city park.

The coolest John Waters neighborhood in Baltimore... and there are honest-to-Gawd rednecks!

FYI, ya'll: You're not a redneck unless your job sunburns your neck. Get it? Red neck. You have to work outside-- roofing, construction, etc.-- Not to be confused with the Farmer tan: the line around your T-Shirt sleeves.

:spray:

:rofl:





:hi:

Yo Dawgz!

And "I like country music" doesn't include downloading photoshopped nude pictures of Shania Twain

But a costume...much like if I were to come into work dressed as a pirate or astronaut...

Met real rednecks shuttling tractor tires and such. Hardworking decent folks, not poseurs or wannabees.

Urban "rednecks" just piss me off. If you can't show me the scars from where they cut the skin cancer out, you can get outa my face.

I'm a city boy. I know few real rednecks, but in my opinion, if your not spending your life crushing the cartilage out from between your bones for a pittance, your not a real redneck.

If you've never drank Nat Light from a can...

If you've never been to a tailgate party (No, sporting events have nothing to do with it)...

If it takes you more than 10 minutes to get from the middle of your town to an open field (assuming you don't live rural already)...

Shall I go on?

and your list of why you "aren't" a redneck is good also...:)