Please. Calm yourselves. I'm back. - Democratic Underground

ForrestGump

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Mon Dec-05-05 04:30 PM
Original message

Please. Calm yourselves. I'm back.

Yea, I am delivered by southlandshari, who art verily a goddess, but thou'all already knew that.

Please remove your sackcloths and ashes, mourning women of DU...heck, let's just take off everything, while we're at it.

:D

I have been to the Other Side. I felt as if I was hovering, right in that corner of the ceiling over there, looking down on everything. I could see my silent and still self down there, with DUers gathered around asking each other "WTF?," but no matter how hard I tried, and how loud I yelled, they just could not hear me. Hey, I'm up here. Please, don't be sad. Hey, I saw that, matcom...you better put that back in my pocket right now, buddy, or I'll be haunting your ass forever. And what are you laughing so hard about, GOpisEvil? You traitor. :P

Maybe I should explain a bit.

Well, it's not like I was crying the whole time. Actually, I just about wet myself laughing -- yes, out loud, for a long time (still am), like this: :rofl: -- because right before I self-tombstoned in the midst of posting to a thread started by Crazy Guggenheim, literally two or three minutes before, I started the thread titled "Skinner and Ann Coulter sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" to test ih8thegop's theory that it'd get poster of such a thread banned. Some theories just shouldn't be tested...

:rofl:

It worked a little better than expected. Really, as a comedy routine, the timing was perfect. Unintentional, but perfect. Synchronicity strikes again. The banning was automatic and coincidental, triggered by yours truly (so that's what a spam filter does!), but I still prefer to think of it as Skinner being the ultimate straight man and a genius at timing his delivery.

I'd like to think, too, that the time I spent lingering (laughing) between appeal and clemency was the admins' or moderators' way of dragging out the punchline for effect, even if it's really just that they're busy dudes and dudettes. :D

On top of that, hfojvt (who also nailed the reason for my byebye...good call!) dropped a little something that was also unintentionally hilarious. Anyone who saw it and knows me outside the forum knows what I mean. :-)

All in all, it's been quite the chucklefest. I'm just kind of regretful that, unlike Huck Finn, I didn't get to see my own funeral marker on my profile.

What has the whole ordeal meant to me? Well, I think it's helped me grow as a person. I don't think I will repeat the mistakes of my youth -- I'll never, for example, again communicate with Crazy Guggenheim and you won't, either, if you know what's good for you. Not at the same rate of communication that I engaged in, at least. The only lasting physical symptom is a small tattoo of Skinner on the inside of my right bicep that was most definitely not there before. Sure, I had one of elad commissioned for the small of my back, but this Skinner one is a real puzzle. Otherwise, I came through fine. I appreciate the cards and letters and the resolution passed in the United Nations that finally freed me. I tell you, my status as an unperson on DU was a rough..um.............30............................minutes. :D

And groveling to get back in gave me a nifty opportunity to update my e-mail address from the one that hasn't worked in a year. Everyone should get banned at least once, I say: it cleared out my sinuses, too, and cleared up my skin and -- I can't tell for sure yet -- may even have negated any need I had to respond to e-mails that offer me quick results with surgery or vacuum pumps.

Boy, I sure hope that mentioning my own tombstoning doesn't violate DU guidelines (I didn't see anything about self-reference by tombstonees), get this thread locked or, perish the thought, me tombstoned again, because I've only got eight lives left and......ohhhhhhhh....nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

...I see a bright light. At the end of a long tunnel. Oh, sh**...not again...