A grown-up letter to Santa

A little fun for your snowy Saturday afternoon!

:hi:

http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good GIRL.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at ELLEN's Office party. It was DOUG who spiked the punch with too much WINE. I can't help it if I drank 6 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like VANILLA.

I thought it was funny when I put LORIE's SHIRT on my head and danced the SAMBA on the COUCH while singing `LOVE ME DO'. I didn't mean to break ELLEN's LAPTOP and don't know why ELLEN would accuse me of CHICANERY.

I don't remember calling JOEL's wife a SCURVY COW---even though she looked like one with PINK eye shadow and PURPLE lipstick!

And when I threw up on RHONDA's husband's LEG, it was only because I ate too much of that CAKE.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my CAR through my neighbor's BATHROOM. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a SHINY DOG and have me arrested for TOMFOOLERY!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all DULL and GRIMY. And I'm really not to blame for any of this NERVOUS stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and LOUDLY yours,
BUNNY (Really a nice GIRL!)

P.S. It's only 12 bucks!

I didn't think to post mine. I will try to replicate! :)

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Krista's Office party. It was Jennifer who spiked the punch with too much Margarita. I can't help it if I drank 11 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cookies.

I thought it was funny when I put Corinne's scarf on my head and danced the jitterbug on the couch while singing `"How Much Is That Doggy In the Window?"'. I didn't mean to break Krista's CD player and don't know why Krista would accuse me of robbery.

I don't remember calling Damon's wife a colorful horse---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and orange lipstick!

And when I threw up on Nancy's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that bread.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my scooter through my neighbor's living room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crazy cat and have me arrested for speeding!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all shiny and bright. And I'm really not to blame for any of this dull stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and cheerfully yours,
WakeMeUp (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 7 bucks!

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,  
I have been a good boy.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Bill's Office party. It was Ted who spiked the punch with too much Vodka. I can't help it if I drank 74 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like patchouli.

I thought it was funny when I put Kristen's Jockey shorts on my head and danced the the twist on the futon while singing `King Of The Mountain'. I didn't mean to break Bill's cell phone and don't know why Bill would accuse me of arson.

I don't remember calling Paul's wife a ecclesiastical pig---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and blue lipstick!

And when I threw up on Dianne's husband's foot, it was only because I ate too much of that artichoke.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my VW Bug through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a unusual horse and have me arrested for theft!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all red and sassy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cold stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and quickly yours,
Khash (Really a nice boy!)

P.S. It's only 12 bucks!

LOL Red & sassy :rofl:

PS my bail was twelve bucks, too

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Julia's Office party. It was Sarah who spiked the punch with too much rum. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like peppermint.

I thought it was funny when I put Dave's thong on my head and danced the tango on the bookcase while singing `will you still love me when I'm 64'. I didn't mean to break Julia's ipod and don't know why Julia would accuse me of perjury.

I don't remember calling Mike's wife a long rooster---even though she looked like one with aubergine eye shadow and mauve lipstick!

And when I threw up on Heather's husband's elbow, it was only because I ate too much of those french fries.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Volvo 164E through my neighbor's sunroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sturdy polar bear and have me arrested for jay walking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all squishy and striped. And I'm really not to blame for any of this evil stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and suddenly yours,
Karen (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 82 bucks!

You sturdy polar bear, you!

Khash.