Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

silly jokes #1...

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread		 This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:14 AM
Original message
silly jokes #1...
What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
Dinosnores!

What is the fruitiest lesson?
History, because it's full of dates!

What language do they speak in Cuba?
Cubic!

Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He kept asking for directions!

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!

What is a myth?
A female moth!

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:18 AM
Response to Original message
1.  What carries round a sack and bites people?
Santa Jaws
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:22 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. heehee, what holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams! :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:29 AM
Response to Reply #2
4.  What's red and flies and wobbles at the same time?
Edited on Fri Dec-16-05 08:29 AM by Misunderestimator
A jelly copter!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #4
6. heehee, why is perfume obedient?
because it is scent wherever it goes! :D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #6
8.  What does one star say to another star when they meet?
Glad to meteor!

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:54 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. heehee, where do snowmen go to dance?
a snowball! :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #9
12. LOL! What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A pecking order!

:rofl:

I love that pic!!

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:58 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. "a pecking order!" now dat'z phunny...
:rofl: :hi: :hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. :)
:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:24 AM
Response to Original message
3. What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:32 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. *snort*
:spray:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:40 AM
Response to Original message
7. What's purple and swims in the ocean?
Moby Grape!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. now there's a classic...
:thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LynzM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 07:19 PM
Response to Reply #7
30. LMAO
I don't even know why that's funny, but it's cracking me up!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. I think it's funny because it is totally illogical, yet logical, in a kids
view :)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 08:55 AM
Response to Original message
11. How do you make a car top?
Put on the brake, tupid!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 10:24 AM
Response to Original message
15. How do you tell snowmen from snowwomen?
snowballs!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. reminds me of a soupy sales joke...
"i took my girlfriend to a baseball game. i kissed her on the strikes, and she kissed me on the balls" :D
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
16. How do you circumcise a whale?
Send down four skin divers- foreskin divers!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 04:25 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. heehee...
:blush:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TK421 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
17. Which of the following words is out of place....
Wife,dog,meat,blow-job?
Blow-job....you can beat your wife,you can beat your dog,you can beat your meat,but nothing beats a blow-job!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
20. What do you do for loose walls?
Tighten the Wall Nuts!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
progmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
21. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!



ok...I got that from a Happy Meal box. :hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pdx_prog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 04:51 PM
Response to Original message
22. What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:00 PM
Response to Original message
23. Here's one:
A noise woke me up this morning.

What was that?

The crack of dawn!







Sorry, Dawn, had to leave early.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:11 PM
Response to Reply #23
45. just an FYI CMW DS1 had your 'crack of dawn' over here...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4453821&mesg_id=4453821 B-) :hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:15 PM
Response to Reply #45
46. That's not Dawn.
That's Cherrie. :rofl: :hi:

Do you know I made 2 litres of eggnog? :staot:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #46
49. heehee, and yes dearest, i seen your excursion into eggnogia...
i will of course be able to dose it up with my various malt and corn mash brews :shrug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Call Me Wesley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #49
50. What can I say,
besides :attso:

Remember the German beer purity law! :woohoo:

Signed, yours truly,
Eggnog (woman)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:38 PM
Response to Reply #50
51. what can I SAY but...
i'm as pure as the driven snow O8)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
24. Why do Eskimos wash in Tide?
Because it's too cold to wash out-tide!

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #24
39. heheh you and rbnyc have the same writer :) n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
25. what's the difference between a pigeon?
he's got two wings. especially the left one.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Oeditpus Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 09:43 PM
Response to Reply #25
55. Why is it farther to Chicago
than by bus?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
26. What do you call a gay "smurf"?
"Smagget"
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
27. What do you get when you kiss a sick bird?
Edited on Fri Dec-16-05 05:48 PM by chknltl
"Chirpies".........









"It's Untweetable".....









"It's also a Canarial disease".

(These are good ones to tell the young ladies who work at those Latte/Esppresso stands...try it.)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
28. How do you hunt the "unique" rabbit?
You "neek" up on him!

So how do you hunt the "Tame" rabbit?

Tame way of course...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 05:54 PM
Response to Original message
29. What do you do with an elephant with four balls?
Walk him and pitch to the rhino.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Onlooker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
31. What kind of bee produces milk?
A boo-bee.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 07:26 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. heehee...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sarahinmexico Donating Member (77 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:05 PM
Response to Original message
34. What do youget when...
You throw a granade into a french kitchen?




Linoleum Blownapart
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. heheheh n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sarahinmexico Donating Member (77 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:09 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. sorry
i don't understand n/t.

i've got to start somewhere
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:11 PM
Response to Reply #36
37. "no text" (follows this subject line) - So don't bother clicking on the
link.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
PittPoliSci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 03:00 AM
Response to Reply #34
42. Welcome to DU!
:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #34
52. welcome to du, sarahinmexico...
:hi: :kick:

:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MarianJack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
38. Did You Hear About the Robbery in the Back Yard?
2 clothes pins held up a sheet!

Did you hear about the fight at the candy store?

2 lollipops got licked!

Did you hear about the fight in Heaven?

Somebody called St. Francis a Sissy!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Doctor_J Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
40. What's long and yellow and seldom rings?
an unlisted banana
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-16-05 11:23 PM
Response to Reply #40
41. wooooooo!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 03:13 AM
Response to Original message
43. Why did Snoop Dogg buy an umbrella?
For drizzle.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:16 PM
Response to Reply #43
47. for rizzle...
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 07:44 PM
Response to Reply #47
53. Drizzle, actually, haha, but close enough
My friend told me that the other day and I couldn't stop laughing.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #53
54. i feel like such a square sometimes...
:cry: love that joke though :rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 03:17 AM
Response to Original message
44. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?
Damn.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Jed Dilligan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-17-05 06:17 PM
Response to Original message
48. Are zombies really dead?
Of corpse not!

What's the difference between a cocktail lounge and an elephant fart?

One's a barroom, the other's a bar-ROOM!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Fri Apr 26th 2024, 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC