GRRRR - Goddamned "Family Values."

I'm enjoying my life, watching TV and posting on DU. The phone rings. The ID says "Dove Foundation." For some reason, I answer it, thinking it might have something to do with chocolate or ice cream.

It turns out there is a group which is concerned about family values and how they're portrayed in the movies and on TV. Of course, they assume that I'm one of their own.

"you agree with this, don't you?"
"with what?"
"that family values are being eroded on TV and in the movies."
"no"
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"
"no, I don't agree that television is the problem."
"But you agree that family values are being eroded?"
"Tell me who you are, and how you define 'family values.'"
"Do you have children or grandchildren of your own?"

(Now I'm slightly pissed, wanting to ask what the hell that had to do with my interpretation of family values.)
But I decide to be nice, and just say "no."

"family values are kindness, goodness, treating others the way that you'd like to be treated..."
"those aren't family values, they're human values."
"Exactly." (clearly, this guy doesn't get it)He continues: "We need to make our needs known to Hollywood, where most of the movies are made. May we have someone contact you?"
"No."
"I'm sorry. Please have a nice day."

Where the hell is Rabrrrrrr when you need him??

I knew I felt a kinship with you.

What a doofus. Not you -- him, the 'phone dude. I guess 'Family Values' is pretty well-established code on the Dark Side.

But can you say "Goddamned"? Actually -- more to the point -- given that you work for Him, do you have a higher chance of actually getting such jerks god-damned? Because, if so, I've got a few more candidates for you. :-)

It's all up to God, not me. I think that God is often amused at my silly attempts to usurp power as "judge of the universe."

Hey - don't blame me... this is the way I was created. And just who might be responsible for that??


I had to answer, just in case it was a prize of lifetime Dove Bars. :9

Here you go...











Whoopsie-daisy...sorry...that's the one I keep on hand for washing my mouth out.



Try this one, instead:

Where's my Dove bar??? :grr:

:-(

Here, give this bar from Down Under a try:



Nummy...

Complete with little beads of sweat! :rofl:

:-(

Can't help my sweaty little hands...

why don't we just dump the chocolate, and get on with the sweaty little hands (with immaculately groomed nails)? :evilgrin:

:D

I wonder how we might warm them up? :D

They might be more use cold. :D

I just got a little chill. A nice little chill. :)

I miss my Magnum bars!

Have a whole box! Collect the set!

It's just "O, Lord, wilt thou please condemn this fucking thing that hath pithed me off?"

What's wrong with that? It's just a simple request. :shrug:

For all those who falsely state "the Lord says.." but have it hopelessly wrong, for all those quoting selected verses out of a passage as if it were nothing more than a telephone book, those are the ones who use God's name in vain. IMO.

Say on, sista. :applause:

Oh...wait a minute..that was Simon who said that.

Simon says.....eat your ice-cream, before it melts. :-)

Is "Simon says" an attempt to claim the words of Peter? And, if so, the whole "throne of Peter" (as in Catholic church)? :shrug:

I've never been the same since learning the truth behind "Ring around the rosie."

I wonder if the Pope does his washing by hand, if so?

And I find it inane beyond belief that US broadcast TV concerns censor out the 'God' bit when they show movies that include the word. Stupid.

where Archie says "God dammit"? After Edith (and the whole audience) gasps, he calmly explains how each word is not offensive.

My dad, usually rather straight-laced, said "well, he's got a point."

I can't remember any of them now. :-(

Time for a refresher, perhaps.

First time I encountered it was in the teevee version of "American Graffiti," a film I know inside out. There's a scene where a car pulls alongside Toad as he's cruising in Steve's '58 Chevy and the guy says, "Hey, Toad, is that you in that beautiful car? Jeez, what a waste of machinery!" For teevee, they dubbed "Jeez" to "Say."

Not even "God" or "Jesus" — "Jeez." :eyes:

We're on a first-syllable basis. Forr and Jeez, yessir.

but i call just call him chuy.

or god jr.

A lifetime supply of deodorant and lotion can run up a decent bill (I thought of that Dove because it's the only deodorant that doesn't break me out in a rash).

and I mean Canadians and Americans. When I hear Dove, I think wrinkle cream. Which is a good thing. Just sayin'

Any time I make the mistake of picking up the phone when one of those phoney "pollsters" calls, I hang up on them immediately, then remove the phone cord from the wall jack.

I used to hang up in the middle of a sentence I was saying, to make them think the line cut off, but decided that they don't deserve even that courtesy.

Phone solicitors are an even worse plague since the "do not call list" laws than they were before. Now they all pose as "poll takers" to get around it.

A plague upon all their houses!

Redstone

I've been studying "Mindfuck 101" with professor Rabrrrrrr, and thought I should take my snark out for a spin.

I'm awaiting his evaluation. :)

mood, it can be an awful lot of fun to torture them, yes?

Not that the poor minimum-wage phone drones deserve to be tortured because they can't find any other line of work...I do understand.

Redstone

"Dove" in a group's name is a code word for "rightwing asshole group trying to squash rights in the name of forming a Christian theocratic hegemony in the United States in which it will be illegal not to be Christian and in which only Christians of a certain sort will have rights"

"Family values" is, I'm sure we're all aware at this time, a code word for "Patriarchial abusive Christian dominance in all matters social and cultural in which men get to do what they want and women stay in their rightful Biblical place, at least according to our misinterpretation of the Bible, and foreigners and immigrants have no rights and corporations go unregulated and we fuck the environment because fucking is Biblical unless it's someone else's wife or a guy and you get caught".

in response to a post the number of which is also a perfect square, and the root of my post is the cube of the root of the first post.

or you have WAY too much fucking time on your hands. :7

For the sake of a good friendship, I'll presume the former. ;)

so it's not a time issue.

:-)

That's my guess, anyways, and I'm sticking to it.

Sorry to change the subject, but what about a Cheesehead Prez? Is Feingold game?

Check out the Feingold group here on DU. Lots of good information.

The only forseeable problem is his divorce. Alas, I have made several offers of marriage, but all I keep getting back from his office are updates on senate work, etc...

Guaranteed man-trap stuff. :evilgrin:

:woohoo:
Is Washington ready for da Cheese??

:patriot:

Behold, the Power of Cheese. :)

It's been a while since I've seen THOSE photos so perhaps you could, you know, just send 'em over for a refresher. *sniff*

You know..like...no big deal...I mean, my having already seen them 'n' all...in fact, I bet they're just laying around here somewhere...housekeeper's year off, doncha know...so, you know, no biggie, but you might as well just remind me of what they are and it's probably more convenient for you to just send them to me...just because..no big deal...yeah, I remember THOSE photos...





Hello?

Sorry it's so small. I uploaded it from Mom's computer... and that's the only size she saved. (I'm much bigger in real life)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/RevCheesehead/Pics%20from%20Mom/2PastorR1101.bmp

I have no idea why the photo isn't posting. Grr. Hit the link.

:D

So you really are a Reverend, or play one on TV. Not that I've been having impure thoughts, or anything, of course. :evilgrin:

I sure hope you're bigger, or your congregation's going to pretty much consist of church mice, and even then you'd be in danger of getting knocked over. :loveya:

I think I need to update my profile. I get PM's all the time, with people asking "are you really a minister?"

Dear Oeditpus is the one who suggested the Vicar of Dibley. Can't say that I disagree, either. Geraldine is so real. :loveya:

*ticket straight to hell*. At least I'll have plenty of company. HEHE.

:blush: I don't know what to say (and if you knew me, you'd know exactly how unusual that is!).

Not a perv, just a guy:)

And I mean sweet in the nice way, not the dismissive way. :)

keep doin' what you're doin'. We REAL Christians will prevail.

I give you the alternate view:

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/RevCheesehead/Pics%20from%20Mom/b246cdc0.bmp

The white on white stole was for a baptism I was doing that morning. Mom got me with my mouth open (as usual).

...small.

:hi:

Bless you for looking. O8)

too. I would be as pissed as you seem to be at them, if not more. You see, "family values" is one of those code phrases used by the anti gay bunch that seems to get into the very core of who I am and explodes into a rage of fury within me. I can totally see why you got upset. What is does to me is something akin to pulling on a lions tail or smacking him upside the head and then being slow enough or stupid enough to be closeby when he reacts. Grrrrroooowwwwwwl. All my teeth start showing, steam comes out my ears, that vein in my neck starts vibrating and then God help anyone who is near me at the time. Unless they know me and know how to calm me down, I have to be sedated by "professionals." You know, the kind who wear the white coats and usually have several bit burly men with syringes standing by ready to "calm the person down." :blush:

Yeah, the way the right wing types portray "family values" really infuriates me.

Let's have a rant session about it. I enjoy pointing out how wrong they are and this is an issue I have thought about a lot.

Poor guy. He kept going back to his script, and I finally called him on it. I said, don't tell me what's printed... tell me who you represent. What organization is this? He never answered.

I think it was the anti-SpongeBob brigade. And I happen to adore SpongeBob. Even preached about him. ;)

Jamastiene, it's for people like you that I am outraged. And, as a single person, I am enraged when people assume that because I don't have a family of my own, that somehow I really can't understand the urgency that we "do something... for the family."

I was all ready to launch into a diatribe about Christian values, how in our baptism, we are no longer male, female, or nuclear family. But alas, he really didn't want to engage in a conversation.

Yeah, I was more than annoyed.

It's good to know that there are people who have compassion and understanding. Maybe you should have said something to him about values just the way you just typed it. I bet he would stop and think then. :pals:

Like Redstone said, it was probably some schmuck doing his job.
But it would be funny if he got my name and phone number from a church mailing list! (He's probably praying for my soul, right now.)

web site and ran across this story about the anti-gay movement and there was a mention of SpongeBob SquarePants and the remarks. It has a well documented story there I thought you might like to read sometime when you have time.

Here is a link.
http://www.splcenter.org/intel/intelreport/article.jsp?pid=863

Also, there is another story about Mel White. I thought you may be interested in reading the interview he did with the Intelligence Report. I think you may find some of what he says about religion very interesting.

Enjoy:
http://www.splcenter.org/intel/intelreport/article.jsp?aid=525

He came to Duke the year I interned at the Chapel. I got to join in a lunch/discussion with him, and later that evening, attended his lecture on campus.

I think I understand where he's coming from... but the problem is, he still has the evangelical mindset. And once you're indoctrinated to thinking of religion in that particular way, it's very, very hard to find some kind of reconciliation and peace with your faith. For many, their faith becomes a black/white, all or nothing issue... and the only way to survive is to completely reject what they once held so dear.

I learned a lot from him.

the abuse I endured at that fundy right wing school I went to when I was little was based on hate, not love. I sometimes see things in black and white too to this day. I get upset with the only lesbian I know who is my age in my hometown a lot. She's actually racist and she hates gay men. She infuriates me with that KKK stuff. She comes from a KKK family. She and I fought over that several times. I asked her how she could consider herself KKK considering the fact that she is part Cherokee. How can she support that mindset? I don't get it no matter how hard I try. I just can't get with it. Is there something wrong with me that I cannot adapt to the whole heritage notion that runs rampant in this area of the country? I cannot seem to be that proud of that sort of history no matter how hard I try.

Push poll asking me how I felt about abortion. All questions loaded. I told the guy that I was sick and tired of supposed Christians all taking the easy way out with the "poor little babies" which is very lucrative for churches. I told him to call me back when Christians actually do the work of Jesus and work against the death penalty. Try loving a stinky repulsive rapist murderer, and giving him/her the time to find redemption with your tax dollars, then get back to me about your christianity.

And I'm not talking about Catholic parish basements here.

I actually wanted to ask him if there was some way they were going to get rid of Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly.

But that costs tax dollars. It also doesn't give the victims family the satisfaction of seeing the fucker fry. I have to wonder about any priest or pastor who encourages the family to pursue this eye for an eye shit. That's old testament, and abused by fundies. I've been told that Torah has so many qualifications on that eye for an eye thing that it's almost impossible to sentence someone to death.

Is that it was enacted as a way to LIMIT, rather than grant, the amount of retribution one could seek for an offense. If someone put your eye out, you could not seek stoning as punishment.. ONLY an eye. It's the biblical notion of "let the punishment fit the crime," but you'd better not go looking for more.

Even Paul knew this. He instructed the Corinthian church that Christians should NOT settle their disputes in the court of law, but instead come to an understanding among themselves. And this, he asserts, is because we are people who live under GRACE, and should act appropriately toward one another. (poor Paul, so often quoted (wrongly), yet so often misunderstood.)

That's where I'd be, if I were Rabrrrrrr.

:rofl: Either that, or he's pushing the Kincaide collection.

i would just love to sit there and give them weird feedback. say the most absurd things ever like "yeah! football is waaayyy to violent, they should put black bars up right before people get tackled!"

Now that school's done, i've got lots of time on my hands.

Why don't they just come right out and say, "We hate gays"?

amendment in Wisconsin?

Seems I saw their name in conjunction with vile piece of shit.

616 area code... what is that, Chicago?

Overall, Rabrrrrrr, how would you evaluate my level of snarkiness? Please be kind, I'm new to this topic (Mindfuck 101).
Do I have potential?
Or should I focus instead on drawing this picture of a pirate?

I think you did okay.

I love that you said "No, those are human values".

Very important to point those out, because THEY think that Family Values is Christian Values because only Christians, apparently, have values - and of course, it's all their misreading and false Christian values.

Someone up top asked about using the word "goddamn" and you answered that it isn't about that word, it's about falsely swearing, and I agree with you - and will add that "Family Values" is falsely swearing, because it is a lie, and it also breaks the commandment of false witness. Oh, sure, they'll argue that they aren't saying that only Christians have values, and they never say it directly, but the implications are there in such abundance that they might as well just be honest about it.

But, they're cowards, so they won't say it; they'll just sit back and pass legislation until Christianity is the only legal religion in the US and then we call go back to women having 15 kids and no power and men holding the reins in everything and good old fashioned Christian values like beating your children, nailing your business associates in the gym locker room, and waging war in the name of Jesus.

Doesn't that imply that one uses the name of God for their own purposes? Indeed, isn't it Ecclesiastes which bemoans, "Vanity, vanity... all is vanity." And vanity is nothing more than subverting the first commandment: you shall have no other gods before ME.

or, is God all about vanity?
even scarier: is God all about the Barney song? "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."

Anymore if it's a religious foundation and it's not connected with something like Lutheran Social Services or Catholic Charities I get very suspicious. Way to many of these Focus on the Family clones have sprun up in the last 25 years.

Apparently, he would stop reading from his script. My mom got so frustrated that she reamed him out.

My mom: Who are you? what do you represent??
Dove guy: We're a non-partisan grass-roots organization that believes in family blah blah blah blah blah...
My mom: Wait, hang on..
Dove guy: okay.
My mom: Just tell me in your own words.
Dove guy: We're a non-partisan grass-roots organization...
My mom: Stop reading from your script and talk to me like a person!
Dove guy: okay. We're a non-partisan grass-roots...
My mom: You know what? I don't believe TV and movies are destroying America. I believe in freedom of choice. I've raised two great kids and I taught them good judgement, and no TV show is going to make them lose that, so don't call here anymore. Goodbye.

I love my mom. :-)

She hung up on the bastards!

i hear ya! i have caller id so if i don't recognize the # i don't pick up, so i haven't really played "mindfuck 101." :) but i have had it with the "you don't have kids, so you don't understand" crap. those convos end up like this: "i don't have kids because i can't have them, thanks kindly for reminding me of that painful subject & for automatically assuming that because i don't have kids i don't give a damn about them." "oh." :eyes:

do modern tvs not come with "off" switches?? :shrug:

dg

Something about this place makes me more willing to challenge the status quo, and call them on their bullshit. I have very good teachers. :)

DU gets ya good and pissed off. :bounce:

:patriot:

And it was satisfying, in a pathetic, I-have-no-life kind of way.

:)

I get this tremendous sense of accomplishment every time I get out of bed without doing myself a serious injury.

When I get out of bed, I have to stand there for a minute to let the bones (and everything else) "settle."

Good thing middle age isn't a state of mind. In mine, I'm 23. :)

getting out of bed. Pulled neck and back muscles, etc.



And my brain's only t'ree ana half years old.

That explains the bandage on yer head, Gumby.
:7

"Soon, baby."

http://www.geocities.com/maxwieldruk/abacha1/

:rofl:

I'm the one on the left.

I simply ask them if they will be paying me for my time. After they stammer around, I explain that my time is important to me and I deserve to be paid for helping them with their survey. When they say they will not pay me, I tell them to have a great day and to STRIKE my name from their list.

This works for political polls and all other phone solicitors that think I am there for them.

:hug: :loveya:

:hug: :loveya:

:hi: Good to see you :hug: :loveya:

:hi: How you doin' today???

:loveya: :hug:

Thanks, Merh. I'm hoping it's ok to copy this and use it in church... maybe even tomorrow?? (I've got to make a few phone calls first).

to every email, pmail, website imaginable.


:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Right in the middle of a sentence. That usually stops them in their tracks.
After a minute or two of letting them talk and constantly interrupting them to inquire about free beer they usually hang up on me and put me on their "special" no call list.
When the anti-gay marriage prop was on the books a few years ago here in MO I told one of them that my girlfriend told me all about the free beer. I think I almost made that woman cry out of frustration.

:rofl:
I'll have to remember that. :evilgrin:

Instead of arguing w/ them on things that they will never comprehend, just fuck w/ their heads. It's easier and funnier.
An exroomate used to put her child on the phone w/ them. She was three and had a speech impediment. That's fun too.

My cat Oreo loves to talk on the phone, too.
:think: Great idea!!

Just get creative.

I think I got through to one of them when I was talking about how he was worshipping Paul, and not trying to follow what we think we know of Jesus.

It was so exciting!

Stephanie
"Thtwudbeme" masquerading as the famous agnostic, JanMichael.

I get so confused :freak:





































:hide: And if you noticed my post in that thread, I think you are one of the cool Stephanies, so many of you guys post on DU, so many replied in your thread. :hi: :hug:

the other night I picked up the phone and this guy asked for 90 seconds of my time.. for some reason i said ok.
When I realized what he was talking about I told him to change the channel and hung up.

Welcome to DU! :hi: