I'm seriously exasperated right now - ask me anything

AAAARRRGGHHH!!!!

"woe is me" conniption...

I'm starting to think that there may be such a thing as a compulsively unhappy person...

Hope it gets better.

My life in general is actually not bad at all - it's just these little pockets of angst that get hard to take after a while. Sometimes I feel like a little pile of metal filings.

Hearing the same old shite day after day about how everything sucks and we're screwed and oh the new neighbor next door looks creepy...

I know depression has many un-splendored manifestations depending on the person, but when I get depressed, I get narcoleptic. The s.o. goes into victim mode and whines. And whines. And whines. No matter how encouraging and/or helpful I try to be, it's in one ear and out the other. It annoys me no end.

Thank you for the opportunity to vent.

This sounds rough. :pals:

the fact that I love this person more than life itself, and their self-esteem is in the toilet (a toxic job is the main culprit here). It's like a big "F*ck your opinion" neon sign.

And when I make inquiries about job opportunities among my professional network, all I hear is "I'm not good enough, I've lost my skills, I'm scared..."

The scared part is easy to understand. It's natural to be loathe to disturb a settled situation, even when that situation sucks. But I wouldn't try to find the s.o. a job if I thought the s.o. couldn't do the damn job.

The last 3 years have been hard on both of us, and just because I can manage to slog through the day without completely losing my sh*t, I either don't care or I don't understand, or both.

But I ramble. Thanks for the hug.

Have you thought about having some sessions with a therapist?

:shrug:

We've both had therapy at one point or another - just not together.

Only one of us is insured, and we owe the doc $3K. He's nice enough to see us anyway when one of us flips (usually the s.o.) and give us a discounted rate, but regular therapy is out of the question right now.

Sometimes I just don't know what to think.

I've gotten over pretty hairy crap in my time - and I don't think I'm a particularly strong person. Why is it so hard for everyone else to get over their shite? We're talking about 30-year-old baggage here.

I second CA Peggy's suggestion of considering a therapist to hash out some of these issues. Speaking from experience, I know how difficult it is to be in relationship with someone who is depressed. It's a real piece of work to maintain emotional boundaries, and yet still be supportive of your partner.
Good luck and all the best to you. Remember: this, too, shall pass.....
:hug:
Shine

We're going out of town for a week and a half during the holiday break. That usually helps a little. We're both suffering from depression, in varying degrees and different symptoms. I'm currently getting by without meds, and the s.o. is taking enough stuff to stop a charging rhino with rabies.

It really sucks to be the strong one all the time.

At least I'm not alone. Thanks for the hug.

I feel totally the same way.
PM me if you want.

Sleeping on the whole matter helped somewhat. We'll see how the rest of the day goes.